Canada Sending Back Bush Dodgers

[lawrocket 3]

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the last week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is
prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they will soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in my barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted, and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my
screenplay, eh."

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "the liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they stopped giving milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman
said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping busses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on the Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art history majors does
one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul and Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out," he said.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[rushmc 23]

Thats a hoot

Thanks

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[juanesky 0]

LMAO, men that is funny

"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon

[EBSB52 0]

I realize it's fun parody, but the overtone that liberals are weak is something that helps to make me believe most neo-cons are more like the intellect of Bush than are not.

[slug 1]

Quote

I realize it's fun parody, but the overtone that liberals are weak is something that helps to make me believe most neo-cons are more like the intellect of Bush than are not.

Hi ESB

Say what a parody

This is good news, still have time to repack my bags and join the other draft dodging hippies before they get lynched by the red necksor get drafted to keep the domino's from falling

41

R.i.P.

[Breezejunky 0]

Now that's funny!

[kelpdiver 2]

Quote

I realize it's fun parody, but the overtone that liberals are weak is something that helps to make me believe most neo-cons are more like the intellect of Bush than are not.

Since Bush is at worst, at the 80% level, that's not exactly the insult you intended.

[Guest]

Outstanding! Who wrote that piece!?

mh

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