BillyVance 35 #1 November 18, 2004 A Cruise Line Special We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of entertainers promised to leave the country if George W. Bush were to be re-elected President. With that in mind, and since they failed to leave four years ago, despite similar (typically) empty threats, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise! Attention: Robert Redford, Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Ed Asner, Janneane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner (apparently still a meathead), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all U.S. assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny location. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise. Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS. Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any. Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as cruise director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from the media. Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, and movies will be shown each evening by Michael Moore. John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing. Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too successful. Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide inspirational services, and Al Franken will give inspirational talks each afternoon. If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her "village" can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return. "Bon Voyage!" Is this a great country or what? It's called Freedom of Speech."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #2 November 18, 2004 I seriously doubt Carnival Cruise Lines would allow their name to be used in conjunction with this type of story, even though I understand the satire. Link please. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #3 November 18, 2004 It was somebody's idea of a joke, not a news story... Thought it was funny, even if it slammed the Democrats..."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #4 November 19, 2004 QuoteI seriously doubt Carnival Cruise Lines would allow their name to be used in conjunction with this type of story, even though I understand the satire. Link please. Lighten up, Francis. It's a joke. - Jim"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kennedy 0 #5 November 19, 2004 Be careful. Nobody calls him Francis. witty subliminal message Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards. 1* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #6 November 19, 2004 QuoteBe careful. Nobody calls him Francis. What's he gonna do? Kill me? - Jim"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kennedy 0 #7 November 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteBe careful. Nobody calls him Francis. What's he gonna do? Kill me? Depends, is his last name Sawyer?witty subliminal message Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards. 1* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #8 November 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteBe careful. Nobody calls him Francis. What's he gonna do? Kill me? I was just surprised it specifically named Carnival Cruise Lines instead of something like TransOceanic or something like that. Plus I'm leaving on a cruise on Carnival in 2 weeks and I don't want some Liberal wacko doing something stupid and f*ckin up my trip because he thinks Carnival Cruise Lines is some secretive subversive right wing organization that funnels money to the Nazis. Come on Jimbo, you know how they think. Don't call me Francis again or you may start to notice your food tasting like almonds. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #9 November 19, 2004 Carnival Cruise Lines donated 3 million dollars to the Kerry election campaign and filters money to Al Queda. Enjoy your trip.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #10 November 19, 2004 QuoteCarnival Cruise Lines donated 3 million dollars to the Kerry election campaign and filters money to Al Queda. Enjoy your trip.... Damn.. I gotta figure out a way to sneak my guns onboard in case there's trouble. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
