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Segador

And Bush says no draft??? What do you call this?

By Segador, in Speakers Corner

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billvon    3,109

billvon
With all the worries about how we can possibly support wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and the next country we accuse of maunfacturing WMD's, people have been claiming the draft will come back, or we will be dangerously short-handed, or we will fail to secure military facilities as we did at the beginning of the war. But our government, never one to just give up in the face of adversity, has found a new solution, as described below.


US TO SEND 30,000 MALL SECURITY GUARDS TO IRAQ
10/11/2004

WASHINGTON, DC—Pressed for additional troops to police the Iraqi general elections scheduled for January, the Pentagon announced Monday that it will dispatch 30,000 U.S. shopping-mall security guards to the troubled Sunni Triangle region.

"A force of security guards trained to protect retail stores across America will be deployed to the Persian Gulf region," said Maj. Peter Archibald, a spokesman for Central Command. "Once in Iraq, security teams will fortify ground forces and assist them in keeping the peace and quelling any horseplay."

According to Archibald, the Pentagon wanted to bolster forces in Iraq without further extending the tours of soldiers currently in the theater. The solution should offer the additional advantage, Archibald said, of potentially dispelling the public's rising concerns over a possible military draft.

"We found that mall security guards are as well-trained and ready to face danger as the coalition-trained military police," Archibald said. "They may not have the power of arrest, but real authority is only a walkie-talkie call away."

Hired by the Defense Department through a number of licensed, reputable firms, the security guards will work independent of the roughly 135,000 troops currently stationed in Iraq. The guards will receive an hourly wage from the U.S. government, and they will be eligible for health and dental benefits after six months.

A test deployment of 1,000 mall security guards to Najaf in September convinced skeptical coalition officials that private-sector security forces provide a palpable sense of order.

"Iraqi patrons of mall-guard-patrolled marketplaces—the Iraqi equivalent of our nation's food courts—reported that the guards' uniformed presence was unobtrusive or even reassuring," Archibald said. "While many Iraqis are intimidated by soldiers from the U.S., they were largely able to disregard the mall security forces."

Archibald said that casualty rates for the mall security guards were only slightly higher than those among Iraqi police forces.


http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4045&n=1

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pajarito    0

pajarito
Ok....that's bizarre.

Edited to add: Geez...I am the most gullible person on the planet. Hit that post button a bit too quick. I didn't even see the link you posted. I glanced at it and went straight to snopes. Ok....I feel like quite the jackass right now. I admit it. Damnit...I hate when that happens.
B|B|B|B|B|B|B|

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slug    1

slug
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Ok....that's bizarre.

Edited to add: Geez...I am the most gullible person on the planet. Hit that post button a bit too quick. I didn't even see the link you posted. I glanced at it and went straight to snopes. Ok....I feel like quite the jackass right now. I admit it. Damnit...I hate when that happens.
B|B|B|B|B|B|B|



Hey you might be gulliable but I'm pessimistic (can't spell either :).

Should have known better who would guard the shopping malls in the US.:)
I didn't get the joke until I read your complete response then checked the link.

Thanks MR VON:)
R.I.P.

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Muenkel    0

Muenkel
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Ok....that's bizarre.

Edited to add: Geez...I am the most gullible person on the planet. Hit that post button a bit too quick. I didn't even see the link you posted. I glanced at it and went straight to snopes. Ok....I feel like quite the jackass right now. I admit it. Damnit...I hate when that happens.



Hey Paj,

Atleast you have the humility to admit when you've made a mistake. I admire that. There's many people around here who can't. Remember, humility is a virtue.:)
Kudos to your character!



_________________________________________
Chris






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slug    1

slug
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Quote

Ok....that's bizarre.

Edited to add: Geez...I am the most gullible person on the planet. Hit that post button a bit too quick. I didn't even see the link you posted. I glanced at it and went straight to snopes. Ok....I feel like quite the jackass right now. I admit it. Damnit...I hate when that happens.



Hey Paj,

Atleast you have the humility to admit when you've made a mistake. I admire that. There's many people around here who can't. Remember, humility is a virtue.:)
Kudos to your character!



This is speakers corner in here most people don't make mistakes:). that why they argue because they enjoy argueing. BTW their always right so all they can do is argue.

The zinger from MR Von and the head up from Paj was very refreshing:)
Enough of this muss Where's what's his name lets get back to argueing in circles.

Maybe speakers circle:o:)
R.I.P.

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bobsled92    0

bobsled92
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When he does something wrong then be upset. Until then relax and try and be happy.

Why are liberals so miserable all the time. I feel sorry for them. I can't fathom being angry 100% of the time.


Man! you got the right idea.....pass me some of your morphine, thanks.
_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

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Shotgun    1

Shotgun
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>(Am I gonna get a warning for that???)

No, but you might get a beating.



Wow, is that part of the forum rules now?

If that's the case, then I would also like to mention that you are a butthead.

:)

And as I said in another thread... "Thank you, sir! May I have another?"

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slug    1

slug
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Quote

>If that's the case, then I would also like to mention that you are a butthead.

You just watch yourself, missy, or you won't be able to sit down for a week!



You're a tease.



We want pictures or it never happened:)
R.I.P.

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dgskydive    0

dgskydive
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You might want to look up the story. It got a whole lot of publicity. You're way off base



Nahh. I hate the news. I do watch it from time to time, but it is just to depressing. It is much more painless to read it, cause I can shut my eyes when I get scared and don't have to hit the mute button at the same time to get rid of the voices.

I said I didn't know much about it. Just assuming why they didn't di what they didn't do. You know what they say about assuming.
Dom


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Shotgun    1

Shotgun
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I am getting jealous!



Ah... Does the poor little Dom need a spanking too??? :ph34r:

Oh, and what does being married have to do with anything? I can't flirt?
Sir Richard can read everything on here... :D

And I'm sure he would love it if I spanked you... really hard. :P>:(




(Hmm, is it possible to get a thread moved from S.C. to the Bonfire???)

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Shotgun    1

Shotgun
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>(Hmm, is it possible to get a thread moved from S.C. to the Bonfire???)

Why? Are people not arguing enough to have it stay here? You could always call someone a Francophile.



Ok, you are a Francophile (and a Butthead, but I believe I already mentioned that).

No, I was just wondering... If enough boobie pictures got posted to a thread in S.C. - and it also degenerated to some sort of S&M discussion, would it get moved to the Bonfire? (just one of those crazy little things I wonder about sometimes!) I know, it's silly...

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