Didn't you hear the news????

[ditch9276 0]

On a highway, a car driver is stuck in a jam.
Suddenly someone’s knocking at the window.
The driver condescend the window and asks: “What’s up?”
“Didn’t your hear the news? Terrorists kidnapped President Bush!
They ask for a 10 Billion $ ransom, or they will pour him with gasoline and will light him up!!!”
“Uhhh!” said the car driver!!! “
“Do you understand???” the other asks again “Now we go from car to car to collect!”
“Hmmm how many gave the others in average???”
“about 2 gal……”

The only rings that are worth wearing, are those of my 3-ring-system!!!

[mr2mk1g 10]

And they say Germans don't have a sense of humour. You just better hope Republicans do. Very funny.

[PhillyKev 0]

Quote

And they say Germans don't have a sense of humour.

Who says that? Col. Klink and Sgt. Shutlz were hilarious!!

[ditch9276 0]

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And they say Germans don't have a sense of humour.

Who say's such stupid things.

Each morning i have 1 pack of clowns, 1 jocky egg and a glas of happy milk for breakfast. So why should i haven't a sense of humour???

Another joke???

Ok!!!

Three pilots are talking about the sizes of their aiscrafts. First the american pilot says: "My aircraft can carry a complete football team incl 1000 fans!" "Ha!" Said the russian pilot "that's nothing, my aircraft can carry a complete rugby team incl 2000 fans!" The both pilots the russian and the american asks the german pilot about the size of his aircraft, he answers: "Hmm i actually don't know the size of my aircraft, but listen, on the last flight over the atlantic ocean, i heard some noise somewhere in the aircraft, so i said to the co he has to check it out, so he tooks the beetle and drive to the left wing, after 30 mins he cames back and siad, sorry nothing found, but i was absolutly sure that i heard something, so i told him to drive to the right wing, and have a look. After 30 mins he came back and said that on the right he has found nothing too. But there was some noise, so i said to the co, you'll took the porsche and drive to the back, after 1 and a half hour he was back, and he said boss everthing is right, the cook is swimming with his submarine in the soup, but there was nothing. Good damned but i'm sure that i heard somethin so i said ok take another look in the back of the aircraft there is something. So after three hours the co is back, and he said, boss your right i've found it. Such a stupid idiot has opened the window of the toilet and now there's flying a boeing 747 around the light and don't find the way out. That must be the noise you heard!!!

The only rings that are worth wearing, are those of my 3-ring-system!!!

[falxori 0]

less funny

O

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero."

[ditch9276 0]

I heard it in Full Metall Jacket (translated into german)

Where do you came from private Bush???

Sir, from Texas, Sir!!!

Good damned, in Texas just lives gays and bulls, and you don't look like a bull private Bush, so the choice is really limited!!!

The only rings that are worth wearing, are those of my 3-ring-system!!!

[mr2mk1g 10]

hehehe - "steers and queers" in the original language version so it rhymes.

What was the translation for
“How tall are you private?”
“Sir, five foot nine Sir”.
“five foot nine? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high”

(edit - is he called Bush in the German language version? In the original he's called Pyle)

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

yawn