Marriage Is A Huge Lie

[Luv2Fall 0]

I feel for those who are married..............those who aren't and are decent human beings, please don't fall into this trap...........I promise you, you will loose your soul.........it's all a fucking lie.

Take care,

Robert

[InflightSupv 0]

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I feel for those who are married..............those who aren't and are decent human beings, please don't fall into this trap...........I promise you, you will loose your soul.........it's all a fucking lie.

Take care,

Robert

Its all a lie to be married to the "wrong" person. The "right" person will complete you. I wouldn't trade it no matter how much she pisses me off sometimes.

[lawrocket 3]

Marriage is not a lie.

Sometimes you can be married to liars.

I do divorces - I've seen it all.

Give it some time, dude, and you'll be better with it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[78RATS 0]

I agree with you...fuckin bitches.

...oh shit ...here she comes...gotta go

Rat for Life - Fly till I die
When them stupid ass bitches ask why

[rmsmith 1]

Are there kids involved, or just your paycheck?

[peregrinerose 0]

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I feel for those who are married..............those who aren't and are decent human beings, please don't fall into this trap...........I promise you, you will loose your soul.........it's all a fucking lie.

Take care,

Robert

I agree to a point, but the lie is to yourself. I had the practice marriage. Married the wrong guy because it was what I had drilled into my head. You go to college to meet a man, marry him, have a litter of children and serve his every need.

That's exactly what I did. I loved him, but didn't really like him. We hoped to change each other, do some fine tuning. It lasted as 4 years of hell. We were both miserable, I was often bruised. I called it quits when he started kicking my dog because he was pissed at me.

Best move I ever made, never should have married him to begin with, I lied to myself for years about him and our relationship and how insecure I was that I'd marry the first guy that paid serious attention to me.

I've since found a man that makes me whole in every way. Every day starts and ends with 'I love you' and he never fails to support me in every way humanly possible. When he proposed, he listed a lot of my better qualities, but ended the proposal with 'and you like me.' That's the most important part of our marriage. We're in love, but we truly like each other too.

Hang in there. Evil marriages exist, and divorce is a horrible, painful entity and one of the most difficult things to go through. It makes you angry and bitter and cynical and want to crawl into a hole and write off society as a whole. Been there. I know what it's like. I also know that by putting one foot in front of the other (and possibly getting a little help from a counsellor) you'll make it.

Jen

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[shropshire 0]

Hey thanks for the generalisation.

Not all marriages are based upon or turn into lies.

I'm more than happy in mine (I know because my wife tells me that I am ) - no really I am and very proud to let people know that I'm happy (14 years to date)

Of course, I've seen friends and relatatives marriages hit hard times and even break up... but it's NOT inevitable.

It may appear to be a cliche' but you really have to work at it but if marriage is not right for you then, steer clear, it's your choice - no one's going to force you into one.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Lindsey 0]

I haven't done so great in the relationships category either.... But it's being bitter that causes you to lose your soul, imho.

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

I'd like to pose a scenario/question:

Two people are extremely happy together during a dating relationship, they move in together and are still happy for several years...then, they decide to go on to "the next step" and get married. Vows were made and a marriage certificate was signed; nothing really different with the relationship, however things change. Now things get on each other's nerves, communication is reduced, they do more apart from each other than together.. What happened? Is it that they became too secure or too comfortable in the relationship? Are they now taking each other for granted?
I'm just curious about why things sometimes change once a couple gets married.

_________________________________________

[quade 4]

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I'm just curious about why things sometimes change once a couple gets married.

I'm not convinced it's as much the fault of a piece of paper as it is the passage of time.

Lemme ask you, do you like the all the same foods, clothing, music, sports, politics, book, cars today as you did 15 years ago? How many times in the last 15 years or so have you changed jobs or lived in different cities?

People grow. Sometimes they grow apart through no fault of anyone.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

That's a good perspective. We change over time as far as interests and tastes. There are some couples that develop and change in sync with each other and others at different paces..or one partner changes and the other doesn't. I suppose it's down to how each partner adapts to change.

Can you tell that I'm in a "deep thought" mode?

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[crwmike 0]

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Marriage is not a lie.

Sometimes you can be married to liars.

I do divorces - I've seen it all.

Give it some time, dude, and you'll be better with it.

Not yet, you haven't Give it some time ...

Michael

[crwmike 0]

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I haven't done so great in the relationships category either.... But it's being bitter that causes you to lose your soul, imho.

linz

It's more of a symptom, actually. However, like pain, the more bitterness you have, the worse it makes the problem.

Michael

[christoofar 0]

I've already seen enough relatives marry, divorce, marry, redivorce, and remarry.

I'mma gonna just wait it out until I'm past 30, maybe even 35 and have less time to put up with going through that cycle.

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[narcimund 0]

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I feel for those who are married..............those who aren't and are decent human beings, please don't fall into this trap...........I promise you, you will loose your soul.........it's all a fucking lie.

Gosh, I don't know. My marriage is wonderful.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[Orchid 0]

A good marriage consists of these five tools:

1) Ownership — taking responsibility for the good as well as the bad. It’s far easier to avoid responsibility for our problems by blaming someone else, but admitting mistakes and owning up to our part of the problem is a powerful predictor of turning something bad into something good.

2) Hope — believing that good wins over bad. Having hope involves at least two things: desiring the kind of marriage we do not yet have and believing that the kind of marriage we want is possible.

3) Empathy — walking in your partner’s shoes. Research has shown that 90% of our struggles in marriage would be resolved if we did nothing more than see the problem from our partner’s perspective.

4) Forgiveness — healing the hurts you don’t deserve. The failure to give or receive forgiveness accounts for most marriages that do not endure. Those simple words, “I was wrong, will you please forgive me?” are strong enough to battle bad things in marriages.

5) Commitment — living the love you promised. Dr. Scott Stanley at the Center for Marital Studies at the University of Denver has concluded that the term “commitment” includes constraint and dedication. Constraint keeps a couple married not because their hearts are necessarily in it, but because they gave their word “’til death do us part.” Dedication is a couple’s active, enthusiastic devotion to one another and to their marriage.

-Orchid

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[Luv2Fall 0]

My sincere congrats to you......................and I hope you all the best.

[Frenchy68 0]

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Gosh, I don't know. My marriage is wonderful.

Hey, enough of that happy go lucky BS (especially yours). That belongs int he Bonfire...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[Frenchy68 0]

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I'm not convinced it's as much the fault of a piece of paper as it is the passage of time.

Lemme ask you, do you like the all the same foods, clothing, music, sports, politics, book, cars today as you did 15 years ago? How many times in the last 15 years or so have you changed jobs or lived in different cities?

People grow. Sometimes they grow apart through no fault of anyone.

Bingo. Tested that theory. Twice...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[InflightSupv 0]

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I'm not convinced it's as much the fault of a piece of paper as it is the passage of time.

Lemme ask you, do you like the all the same foods, clothing, music, sports, politics, book, cars today as you did 15 years ago? How many times in the last 15 years or so have you changed jobs or lived in different cities?

People grow. Sometimes they grow apart through no fault of anyone.

Bingo. Tested that theory. Twice...

I respectfully disagree. I thing Orchid is right above. In every case that I've been closely involved in, ie: family, close friends, etc. I saw someone quit. What I mean is that somewhere, sometime, someone quit, trying, loving, committing, on and on and on. There is always a defining moment when the two ships start their turn away from each other. I'm not saying that it couldn't be simultaneous or something that either one could stop, I have just seen someone quit in whatever way.

If I love my wife, I won't cheat. If I love my wife, I will always consider her feelings before my own, etc....

Show me a divorce and I'll show you a relationship, where somewhere, one of the two or both stopped trying, and that my friends is the difference. I don't think divorce is below me, I just know that I will never stop trying and I hope my wife won't either.

If she does, then I will retract this post.

[narcimund 0]

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Gosh, I don't know. My marriage is wonderful.

Hey, enough of that happy go lucky BS (especially yours). That belongs int he Bonfire...

Oh, I don't know. The people here in Oregon are going to impose a divorce upon my happy marriage in a few weeks. Does that qualify me for the forum?

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[Zenister 0]

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I respectfully disagree. I thing Orchid is right above. In every case that I've been closely involved in, ie: family, close friends, etc. I saw someone quit. What I mean is that somewhere, sometime, someone quit

havent been married yet (thank God) but in the three significant long term relationships i've been it this has been the case...

persistence is a trait much to be admired...maybe someday i'll find a woman with it...and that i can keep faith with as well...

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[Frenchy68 0]

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The people here in Oregon are going to impose a divorce upon my happy marriage in a few weeks. Does that qualify me for the forum?

Alright, you can stick around...
Can they really make it retroactive and void it? Since it was legally performed...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[narcimund 0]

[reCan they really make it retroactive and void it? Since it was legally performed...

[Frenchy68 0]

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Good question. I suspect that will have to be court battles about that.

There's always Mass...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."