Male perspectives on abortion?

[HeatherB 0]

I've spoken to several friends about this following question and have heard a range of opinions.

Men: Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion? (specifically, if you do not want your partner to have an abortion and she does want to have one)

I'll post my own opinion later.

[Frenchy68 0]

As the partner, I should be involved in the decision. And in the case of her wanting an abortion, it is ultimately her choice and should be respected. Period.

Nick

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[lawrocket 3]

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Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion?

Damned right, I do.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[akarunway 1]

Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion?

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Damned right, I do.

What he said 100%. To bad it doesn't work that way. Can anything legal be done Law?

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[lawrocket 3]

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Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion?

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Damned right, I do.

What he said 100%. To bad it doesn't work that way. Can anything legal be done Law?

Well, I "feel" that I should have rights. I think that any man who will big enough to own up to the responsibility of having a child would want to have some rights to something that is part him, especially considering responsibilities of child support and being a proper father.

What I "feel" and what I "think" are different, though. I "think" that the woman should have more rights to that decision. After all, it is the woman carrying the baby and giving birth. Goodness knows, I know the torture my wife went through.

Legally, there isn't much we guys can do about it. The Supreme Court has already ruled thta there are privacy determinations for the woman that trump the interest of the man.

What's it mean? Dude's better think harder before donating sperm.

p.s. - Frenchy's position is, on its face, contradictory. He thinks that he should be involved in the decision, but the decision is hers. I hear that a lot. If you've got no decision-making authority, why the hell should you be involved?

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Zenister 0]

pretty much the right that she has to hear my opinion on the matter, but beyond that it is totally her decision....after all i dont have to provide my body as a host for the next 9 months.. she does. As the 'sperm donor' my opinion certainly counts and he should be considered, but it is still secondary to the mother's...

why would anyone wish to have a child with someone who didnt want one themselves? seems stupid to attempt to force the issue, particularly through legal means....

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[quade 4]

In a perfect world there would never be an unwanted pregnancy. We do not live in a perfect world so let's assume that for very few people abortion would ever be their first option. I know of nobody that has ever gotten pregnant just so they could have an abortion.

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Men: Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion? (specifically, if you do not want your partner to have an abortion and she does want to have one)

Any? Maybe. Certainly some consideration should be given, but "rights" is a kind of a strong word here.

Same? Certainly not. The man can not -force- the woman to have or not have the child.

Ultimately ONLY the woman can and does choose.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[Zenister 0]

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If you've got no decision-making authority, why the hell should you be involved?

because as an active participant my opinion counts no matter who has the 'final say'...

officers have the decision making authority, but they still listen to the opinions of their NCO's...if they are smart....

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[Frenchy68 0]

p.s. - Frenchy's position is, on its face, contradictory. He thinks that he should be involved in the decision, but the decision is hers. I hear that a lot. If you've got no decision-making authority, why the hell should you be involved?
***
Good point. I do believe there should be dialogue and consultation between both parties. I may have arguments that may affect her final decision. But ultimately, if we do not agree on the outcome, she has the final say so.

Nick

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[PhillyKev 0]

Only if married and only if the issue was discussed before hand.

[TheAnvil 0]

Damned right I do.

Vinny the Anvil

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[Ron 10]

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Men: Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion? (specifically, if you do not want your partner to have an abortion and she does want to have one)

Well, I think the guy should have an opinion. But in the end it is the womans body.

But since BOTH parties are affected for 18 years at least...I think both should talk about it.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[Tink1717 2]

If you have a penis, you don't get a vote. The decision is completely between the woman and her doctor. Period.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[pajarito 0]

I oppose abortion except in the instance of high risk to the mother’s life because I consider, without being able to prove otherwise, that life begins at conception. That, however, takes the decision of legality to a different level. However, do I think a partner (not a spouse) should have legal rights in determining if the woman should or should not be allowed to have an abortion? No. I don’t believe that just being a sperm donor gives you that right. If married, however, I believe the two partners become one (figuratively speaking). I believe that a husband’s body belongs to his wife and hers to him. The wellbeing of each is the responsibility of the other as well as their own. Therefore, the “married” partner, in my opinion, should have legal rights in that decision. Again however, that aside, I still think abortion is fundamentally wrong except in extreme cases.

[freeflybella 0]

Sorry, woman here.

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If you have a penis, you don't get a vote.

As much as I hate this - unfortunately it seems to be true.

I know if I have a son, I will do everything in my power to make sure he understands that he shouldn't sleep with any woman he's not prepared to have a child with.

Don't get me wrong, I know I can't control what he does - but I'm going to make sure he understands the full extent of the consequences.

For whatever reason, I think this is the area that needs the most attention in the equation. If a woman decides she doesn't want the pregnancy, she can abort or give up for adoption. If a man decides he doesn't want it he can only walk away a criminal or be forced to pay.

I know it's the woman's body and I'm pro-choice but I also believe the argument is skewed 'woman' and I don't think that's right. I'm not sure what the solution is - but real education for boys is a good start.

edited: Men are not just sperm donors - as women are not just egg donors. They are 2 people engaging in an act that could produce a child. IMHO.

Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi

[happythoughts 0]

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why would anyone wish to have a child with someone who didnt want one themselves?

Remember, in the original question, she said "partner". She didn't specify whether the person was married/unmarried.

There is a lot of guys out there who didn't want kids and their wife decided that she did. "Well... we were going to have them later anyways, right?" Some people just expect their partner to deal with it.

[wmw999 2,588]

I'm also a woman, and I think freeflybella is dead on. Except that I do have a son, and he's old enough to have heard that talk.

The reason it's skewed "woman" is, of course, because only the woman gets pregnant, and takes on the physical risk of being pregnant, along with the social risk if it's out of wedlock or incompatible with her job. If that could be shared, trust me, I'd be all over it.

Fortunately, I'm still only the grandmother to a 1991 Toyota MR2 with a souped-up engine
Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Botellines 0]

I think that the woman has the last word on the issue. I do believe though that the woman should listen and take into consideration what her partner has to say (married or unmarried).

However, what about if the woman wants to have the kid but the man doesn´t want to. Should the man have to pay for the next eighteen years?

I think that yes to some extent, but if so, it is quite unfair that men has no word one way or the other. Also, we would be making life easier to condom biters men hunters women.

Any thoughts?

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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Men: Do you feel that you should have any rights concerning whether or not a female partner has an abortion? (specifically, if you do not want your partner to have an abortion and she does want to have one)

It's something you should agree on before you have intercourse and stick to afterwards. If you neglected to do it beforehand you're stuck with what your partner wants to do with her body.

[livendive 8]

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For whatever reason, I think this is the area that needs the most attention in the equation. If a woman decides she doesn't want the pregnancy, she can abort or give up for adoption. If a man decides he doesn't want it he can only walk away a criminal or be forced to pay.

I think the area that needs the most attention is birth control. We have spent so much money researching and deploying new and innovative methods for women to practice birth control, yet men still have the same 2 options, condoms and a vasectomy. We cannot be so naive as to expect (versus hope) that a condom will be involved in every sexual act, and a vasectomy isn't all that attractive an option for 18-30 year old men with no kids. So why isn't there yet a shot, pill, patch, or other means of either temporarily stopping sperm production or rendering the sperm non-viable? I believe that expanses in this arena would a) lessen the inequality inherent in today's system and b) substantially decrease the number of unwanted pregnancies we see. Unfortunately I don't own a drug company nor have the money to nudge one in this direction.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[PhillyKev 0]

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I think the area that needs the most attention is birth control.

And ironically enough, I walk past planned parenthood on the way to work. About once a week, protestors are outside consisting of the same two guys. This really old guy who holds a poster of a fetus. And this early 30's guy who holds a sign that says, "Birth Control is Evil".

A few weeks ago I was walking right past, looked at the younger guy and asked, "How many kids have you adopted." He wouldn't answer me but instead started reciting a prayer. I walked away.

[freeflybella 0]

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I think the area that needs the most attention is birth control.

Hmm. Maybe, maybe not. Condoms protect against pregnancy as well as diseases. I'd hate to discourage their use in favor of a method which offers no protection.

If boys/men were taught at an early age what responsible sex is - and that condom use is essential regardless of whether 'the girl is on the pill' - condoms might not be such an unpopular option.

Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi

[wmw999 2,588]

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Condoms protect against pregnancy as well as diseases. I'd hate to discourage their use in favor of a method which offers no protection

Yes, but if a guys isn't going to use a condom, then it's better to have some other form of reliable birth control for him.

Saying that we shouldn't do anything to discourage condoms is like saying we should only teach abstinence because it's the only sure thing.

Reliable male birth control that doesn't have to be applied immediately before would help matters, just as the introduction of the pill improved matters for women.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[livendive 8]

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I think the area that needs the most attention is birth control.

Hmm. Maybe, maybe not. Condoms protect against pregnancy as well as diseases. I'd hate to discourage their use in favor of a method which offers no protection.

I don't think a better method of male birth control would be discouraging condom use, just augmenting it. Sure, there'd be some, possibly quite a few men who would see it as an either/or, but that would just mean we'd need to ramp up our encouragement for their use outside the confines of a monogamous relationship.

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If boys/men were taught at an early age what responsible sex is - and that condom use is essential regardless of whether 'the girl is on the pill' - condoms might not be such an unpopular option.

Well, we should be teaching girls/women the same lesson about responsible sex. Condoms protect against STD transmission in either direction. That said, condoms are likely to remain an unpopular option for several reasons. 1 - Condoms substantially reduce the pleasure of sex, thus working in direct opposition to the goal of the moment. 2 - Condoms aren't all that "convenient", i.e. you can't take one a morning, week, or month and be protected...you have to have them with you and stop in the heat of the moment to don one. 3 - Condoms are unreliable. Breakage is a frequent occurrence and even an intact condom can allow conception if the couple "cuddles" for too long after ejaculation.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[freeflybella 0]

Saying that we shouldn't do anything to discourage condoms is like saying we should only teach abstinence because it's the only sure thing.***

Agreed that other options should/could help the issue of men taking responsibility in birth control - and ultimately their futures. Not suggesting to limit options to only condoms. I was merely responding to the suggestion that more birth control options for boys are needed over better education for boys.

After thinking further (and reading livendive's argument) - a 2-pronged approach might be best. Better options and education.

Ultimately, we need to say and show that men/boys do have a say - before sex. And that's not to be trivialized or taken lightly. Because after sex - he's quite literally screwed. ()

Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi