Kennedy 0 #51 August 18, 2004 Come on Jeffrey, haven't you heard? Personal responsibility SO went out with the 80s. witty subliminal message Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards. 1* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eiley 0 #52 August 18, 2004 QuoteThis is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call. This is one of my most favourite ever. nothing to see here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #53 August 18, 2004 Come on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #54 August 18, 2004 QuoteCome on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! bwahahaha....dude....that was good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #55 August 18, 2004 QuoteCome on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! Also one of the better jokes in this thread. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #56 August 18, 2004 I've long wondered what would happen if someone were to start a poll seeking suggestions as to what his name should be changed to. Of course I concluded that one could never do such a thing, as I felt quite sure it would have been taken as a personal attack by the subject. Therefore please consider the suggestions below as merely an illustration of what a poll [I]might[/I] have looked like had some wag created one. Belligerentjeffrey Argumentativejeffrey Aggressivejeffrey Opinionatedjeffrey And please be certain; this post is in no way intended to solicit any further such suggestions. I must admit though, I find it remarkable how many times people feel the need to comment on the fact that “peacefuljeffrey” seems to be a terrible misnomer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,148 #57 August 18, 2004 QuoteI've long wondered what would happen if someone were to start a poll seeking suggestions as to what his name should be changed to. Of course I concluded that one could never do such a thing, as I felt quite sure it would have been taken as a personal attack by the subject. Therefore please consider the suggestions below as merely an illustration of what a poll [I]might[/I] have looked like had some wag created one. Belligerentjeffrey Argumentativejeffrey Aggressivejeffrey Opinionatedjeffrey And please be certain; this post is in no way intended to solicit any further such suggestions. I must admit though, I find it remarkable how many times people feel the need to comment on the fact that “peacefuljeffrey” seems to be a terrible misnomer. Reminds me of my ex-wife, but she was only like that 3 days in each month.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #58 August 18, 2004 QuoteWhat do you call a person that speaks three languages: Trilingual What do you call someone who can speak two languages: Bilingual What do you call someone who can speak one language: American I learned this joke when I was living in Europe a while back. It's always been a favorite of mine. Seriously, though, it's less and less true, especially in the southwestern parts of the country. I think I read somewhere that nearly 50% of the population of california is functionally bilingual, with nearly 20% totally fluent in both languages (Spanish and English).-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,587 #59 August 18, 2004 QuoteI think I read somewhere that nearly 50% of the population of california is functionally bilingual, with nearly 20% totally fluent in both languages (Spanish and English). And for how many of them is it because Spanish is spoken at home, or by their grandparents? While that emphatically does count as bilingual, I've found (here in Texas, and based on my first and second generation American parents) that the farther away from "the old country" one gets, the less of the original language is spoken comfortably. We are an awfully ethnocentric country as far as I've seen; that's normal -- people who haven't travelled don't have that experience. The only thing I don't like is when people are proud of that. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
storm1977 0 #60 August 18, 2004 Quote people who haven't travelled don't have that experience. The only thing I don't like is when people are proud of that. Hey... I don't think it is a bad thing that I haven't traveled to other nations... Travelling takes time, money and desire. Personally, I have no real desire to travel abroad, and i AM proud of that. My country (USA) has so much to offer me and so much to see that it would take lifetimes to do. I love my country and would rather spend time travelling "In house" as it were to see all the great things the United States has to offer. ----------------------------------------------------- Sometimes it is more important to protect LIFE than Liberty Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Botellines 0 #61 August 18, 2004 Fair enough. You are right about how long it would take to visit all the U.S. However, if you choose not to travel to other countries, you are in no position to make comparison about the U.S and the rest of the world. I have the feeling that in this forums there is too many people who has not travel enough and compares the US with other countries way too much. Not directed at you, by the way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,587 #62 August 18, 2004 Not having travelled isn't something to be ashamed of; on the other hand, being ignorant of other cultures, and/or ethnocentric, and/or jingoistic, aren't things to be proud of either. That's all I was trying to say. There are many things in my life that I'm neither proud nor ashamed of. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wzettler 0 #63 August 18, 2004 QuoteFair enough. You are right about how long it would take to visit all the U.S. However, if you choose not to travel to other countries, you are in no position to make comparison about the U.S and the rest of the world. I have the feeling that in this forums there is too many people who has not travel enough and compares the US with other countries way too much. Not directed at you, by the way. I couldn't agree more with this. Travelling to other parts of the world is great life experience as well as educational in many aspects, IMO. I believe it makes you more of a World citizen, which I also believe is a good thing... I can't wait to travel again outside my country and see other lands and cultures. <---- Going to Africa next year for the first time. Woo Hoo!!! I think when Jesus said "love your enemy" he probably meant don't kill them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimbarry 0 #64 August 18, 2004 One of my favorites from American Werewolf in London. Brit, Frenchman, Yank, and Mexican on an airplane about to crash with only one chute on board (make, model, and wingloading unknown). In a moment of self-sacrifice, the Brit yells "God save the Queen" and jumps out to save the others. The frenchman, not to be outdone by the brit, yells "Vive la france!" and hurls himself out. The yank, not to be outdone by the other two yells out "Remember the alamo!" and throws out the mexican. I'm guessing then the Yank dons the chute, hook turns too low and femurs in. Not part of the joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #65 August 18, 2004 Your punchline is as good as the original "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #66 August 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhat do you call a person that speaks three languages: Trilingual What do you call someone who can speak two languages: Bilingual What do you call someone who can speak one language: American I learned this joke when I was living in Europe a while back. It's always been a favorite of mine. Seriously, though, it's less and less true, especially in the southwestern parts of the country. I think I read somewhere that nearly 50% of the population of california is functionally bilingual, with nearly 20% totally fluent in both languages (Spanish and English). But we don't count maids and other domestics in the joke...http://www.esmas.com/adaywithoutamexican/dos.html Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #67 August 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteCome on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! Also one of the better jokes in this thread. hehhehheh agreed. --Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #68 August 19, 2004 QuoteI've long wondered what would happen if someone were to start a poll seeking suggestions as to what his name should be changed to. Of course I concluded that one could never do such a thing, as I felt quite sure it would have been taken as a personal attack by the subject. Therefore please consider the suggestions below as merely an illustration of what a poll [I]might[/I] have looked like had some wag created one. Belligerentjeffrey Argumentativejeffrey Aggressivejeffrey Opinionatedjeffrey And please be certain; this post is in no way intended to solicit any further such suggestions. I must admit though, I find it remarkable how many times people feel the need to comment on the fact that “peacefuljeffrey” seems to be a terrible misnomer. This post is either very close to the line, or over it. I'm leaning toward considering it the latter. You've got a lot of fucking nerve to pretend that your "If this WERE a poll" bullshit is NOT a backhanded personal attack. --Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #69 August 19, 2004 This post is either very close to the line, or over it. I'm leaning toward considering it the latter. You've got a lot of fucking nerve to pretend that your "If this WERE a poll" bullshit is NOT a backhanded personal attack*** ...and that little red laser spot slowly went crawling up Mat's forehead... "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #70 August 19, 2004 Quote...I concluded that one could never do such a thing, as I felt quite sure it would have been taken as a personal attack... Hmmm. If you were sure, why did you do it? Making fun of someone's screen name is about as useful as making fun of some kid's braces in elementary school. Please desist. Consider this your only warning.-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #71 August 19, 2004 QuoteCome on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #72 August 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteCome on dude, its a jokes thread lighten up or we'll have to change your name to Cheerfuljeffrey! Yeah, right, cite an actual joke to defend your malicious swipe at me. Gimme a fucking break. Skyrad was actually funny. You, you're just belligerent. The sick thing is, you think I am. --Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Botellines 0 #73 August 19, 2004 Dude, i didn´t know you were so sensitive. I apologize if i ever hurt your feelings. I wouldn´t ever forgive myself if i make you cry with one of my posts You seem overly sensitive to personal attacks if and only if you are not who do the attacking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casurf1978 0 #74 August 19, 2004 Came across these on the net: What's the difference between Americans and the engines of the jets on which they travel abroad? After they land, the engines of the jets quit whining. #2 An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends. "Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians." The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French - and the customers are all Americans." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,116 #75 August 19, 2004 >You, you're just belligerent. And this is YOUR only warning. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
