Kerry's Resume

[Cajundude 0]

RESUME OF JOHN F. KERRY

RESIDENCE:

7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

Military:

I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from themilitary and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming
they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I?

My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have noreal world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS US Senator:

I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's
ability to defend itself. **Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.

I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million.

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, TedKennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. NIMBY.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

None.

PERSONAL

I ride a Serotta Bike.

My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel"

I call my $ 850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche". I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and you had better listen to it as it reflects our real culture.

I own several SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[skydyvr 0]

Great post, never seen that one before!!

. . =(_8^(1)

[freeflydrew 0]

Re-repost?

[PhillyKev 0]

re-re-re-re-re-post.

Should we once again post the Bush resume?

[Kennedy 0]

For the love of God, people, no more, PLEASE!

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
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