jumperconway 0 #1 July 29, 2004 This is funny JOB APPLICATION NAME: John Kerry RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth multimillions. EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. MILITARY: I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military! COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except that of a gigolo, by marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa. ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country. Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. PERSONAL I ride a Serotta Bike. My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel. I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche." I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture. I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems. PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 July 29, 2004 Yep.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdweller 0 #3 July 29, 2004 > I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems. < Actually there are two matching SUV's in Nantucket------------------------------------------------------ "From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit?" C. Montgomery Burns Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #4 July 29, 2004 LOL. Good stuff. Pretty sad when you break it down. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #5 July 29, 2004 Somehow I had a feeling this would follow the "GWB Resume" post... What is the world coming to when SKYDIVERS are predictable?"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveNFlorida 0 #6 July 29, 2004 QuoteAlthough I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. But, Edwards says that WE WILL WIN THE WAR IN IRAQ! So, it would seem that the ticket is still pro-war (hence my now very wishy-washy stance on candidates... imo, why bother voting if you dislike them both). angela. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,201 #7 July 29, 2004 QuoteThis is funny No. The first such of these was funny, months and months ago. They are just predictable and boring now, from both sides.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #8 July 29, 2004 QuoteThey are just predictable and boring now, from both sides. Well apparantly not. JumperConway thinks it is and so do I. Just because you think something is predictable and boring doesn't mean everyone else does. Stick to being up to speed on your thoughts and let us think ours. Usually works out better that way and makes you look smarter. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #9 July 30, 2004 It seems that every 4 years we have at least one contender make it to the primaries with nothing but they fact they came from money.... To me, he is just a Forbes Wanna-be who wants to play President... =========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
