self esteem- Is it good? what is it really?

[Steel 0]

Ok so I have them check my bodyfat level at the gym and come out displeased. It turns out that Now I have been downgraded from lower than 95% to 85%, which doesn't make since to me because I look and feel better than I did the last time I had it checked. But since I am over 30 now I get hit with a different standard. Rather than getting into the technicalities of the test, I will just say I doubt the results. Anyway so I ask the person administering the test where my problem areas are and I hear, "Are you kidding, there are no problem areas". So I reply JOKINGLY, "my self-esteem is too low for that, I can't except that more than 1 out of every ten people has lower body fat than me." Response I get now is a serious, "oh yes its funny how the people you least expect have self-esteem problems."
So I go to webster.com and look up self-esteem. It says confidence and satisfaction with oneself. Confidence is meaningless, I know who I am and where I stand. But satisfaction is the key. I am not satisfied I want to be better. Come to think of it none of the Mr. Olympia winnners were satisfied with themselves, that is why the kept working to get better and better. But if we go by the definition they had a low self esteem.
Now the question is who has a high self esteem? The fat guy who keeps letting out his pants year after year and his belly comes out further and further drooping over his belt.
I am not one to argue with definitions. I am who I am. If according to the definition, I have a low self esteem because I care about my appearance and people who don't care about their appearance have a high self-esteem. Then that is fine with me. But then I ask you with these definitions clear, Do you believe its really good to have a high self-esteem.

If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass.
Can't think of anything I need
No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound.
Nothing to eat, no books to read.

[Zennie 0]

Well, I personally don't agree with that definition.

Self-esteem is merely one's perception of oneself.

I think you can be dissatisfied with your current state of things... such as physical condition... and want to improve, but still have a generally positive perception of yourself.

On the flip side, things can be going just dandy but you still may not really like yourself for whatever reason.

Do I think positive self-esteem is important? Absolutely! But that is something that is acquired (or lost) from within, not from some external source.

That's why I get so pissed when I hear about folks wanting to lower school standards or ban dodgeball or whatever because little Johhny might get his feelings hurt.

You don't manufacture self esteem by lowering the bar.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[storm1977 0]

Exactly.....

I was teased and picked on during all my school years. If anything it builds character and inner strength.
Self esteem is ones perception of oneself, and is a key indicator of success.

People with higher self esteem tend to be more productive and successful. The more one beleives they can succeed the less likely they are to give up trying.

In many places they aren't keeping score anymore at baseball games and football games because they don't want the poor children to feel bad if they loose. If anything this helps to lower self esteem and instead builds a false sense of security. Children then don't know what loss is, and are devistated when they get in the real world.
People don't want to loose. They want to win. Taking scores out of games also takes drive and desire out of the games. Life is a competition the quicker children learn this the better off they are (IMO)>

Chris

-----------------------------------------------------
Sometimes it is more important to protect LIFE than Liberty

[Zennie 0]

And trust me, there are things in life that are far more emotionally devastating than losing a ballgame or getting picked on by the "cool" kids.

If kids can't learn to deal with the small stuff, how on earth can folks expect them to deal with the inevitable big stuff without becoming a quivering masses of jello?

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Zennie 0]

And another thing!!! (See what you did, you got me on one of my numerous soapboxes! )

Why on earth do people see competition as something inherently evil?

I'm as competetive as anyone. If I lose, sure, I get upset, but once that passes I set out to improve so that I can win (or not lose as badly) next time.

A lot of times losing is a great motivator for self-improvement. And some of us have improved a LOT over the years.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[goalie35 0]

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If kids can't learn to deal with the small stuff, how on earth can folks expect them to deal with the inevitable big stuff without becoming a quivering masses of jello?

What makes you think that isn't the goal? A nation of proud and confident people won't look for leaders; they'll be too busy leading!

[PhillyKev 0]

self-esteem has to do with a lot more than physical appearance. Many people who excel in one aspect of life have low self esteem in general and try to compensate by concentrating on what they are good at. They may be extremely succesful at that thing, but it won't help their self esteem. It's a mind set, not an action or goal.

Not saying this applies to you, just speaking generally.

[Steel 0]

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self-esteem has to do with a lot more than physical appearance. Many people who excel in one aspect of life have low self esteem in general and try to compensate by concentrating on what they are good at. They may be extremely succesful at that thing, but it won't help their self esteem. It's a mind set, not an action or goal.

Not saying this applies to you, just speaking generally.

I did not mean to limit my post to simply the physical aspects. That is just the specific instance that made me think about it here. Other people brought up their disaggreement with lowering standards in academics or even little league baseball. How do you feel about that? Or more to my specific question. Do you believe its better for one to be satisfied with where they are at in life {through physical appearance, academic acheivement, notches on the headboard of one's bed, anything} or to not be satisfied (according to webster thereby having a low self-esteem) and continue to strive to better oneself.

If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass.
Can't think of anything I need
No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound.
Nothing to eat, no books to read.

[Luv2Fall 0]

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And trust me, there are things in life that are far more emotionally devastating than losing a ballgame or getting picked on by the "cool" kids.

If kids can't learn to deal with the small stuff, how on earth can folks expect them to deal with the inevitable big stuff without becoming a quivering masses of jello?

I have many neices and nephews along with having two sons.........I am beginning to see the consequences of them "having been protected" from such...............living in an entirely separate planet, I'm afraid.

[PhillyKev 0]

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Do you believe its better for one to be satisfied with where they are at in life {through physical appearance, academic acheivement, notches on the headboard of one's bed, anything} or to not be satisfied (according to webster thereby having a low self-esteem) and continue to strive to better oneself.

I don't think it's an either or thing. You can be satisfied but strive to improve. Where self-esteem comes into play is if they are incapable of being satisfied, no matter what. It's good to have goals. But goals must be attainable. If you are constantly striving and reach a point where you are satisfied and then re-evaluate your goals and aim for new ones that's good. But if you are in a constant struggle to improve because you are never satisfied and never will be no matter what, that's a problem.

[kelpdiver 2]

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Ok so I have them check my bodyfat level at the gym and come out displeased. It turns out that Now I have been downgraded from lower than 95% to 85%, which doesn't make since to me because I look and feel better than I did the last time I had it checked. But since I am over 30 now I get hit with a different standard. Rather than getting into the technicalities of the test, I will just say I doubt the results.

Dude - BF% is a simple absolute value. Why do care one bit what your's is in relation to others?

And having too low a level can lead to feeling worse. Fat does serve a purpose to the body so if you're in a healthy range you shouldn't fixate on it.

[EricTheRed 0]

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People with higher self esteem tend to be more productive and successful. The more one beleives they can succeed the less likely they are to give up trying.

Not entirely. Several differing studies have shown that criminals typically have very high self esteem. (I deserve XX but can't buy it so I'll steal it from the jerk that doesn't deserve it)

Also many successful people have very low self esteem and push themselves to exceptional levels in a constant attempt to 'prove' themselves. Many work-a-holics have self esteem issues. They can be highly productive, even if they are self destructive.

illegible usually

[peregrinerose 0]

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Not entirely. Several differing studies have shown that criminals typically have very high self esteem. (I deserve XX but can't buy it so I'll steal it from the jerk that doesn't deserve it)

Also many successful people have very low self esteem and push themselves to exceptional levels in a constant attempt to 'prove' themselves. Many work-a-holics have self esteem issues. They can be highly productive, even if they are self destructive.

I'm not sure that using groups on the extremes of society really is all that valid for the norms. Not that I disagree with what you said though, I'm probably proof of it to some degree. My self esteem was totally non-existant until my late teens/early 20s. So I was an overachiever in music and school. I tried to compensate for being pathologically insecure by excelling at something, in the hopes that someone would find my pathetic existance worthwhile. Never worked. Now I have fairly healthy self esteem. I know my flaws, but know my strengths too, I'm happy in my own skin. And also not killing myself trying to proove something to the world.

I also agree with a previous post that self esteem is something internal. However, outside factors do help mold it. If you're told every day you're worthless and unlovable, it's really tough to believe otherwise. Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman' summed it up that 'the bad things are so much easier to believe than the good.'

Jen

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[storm1977 0]

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People with higher self esteem tend to be more productive and successful. The more one beleives they can succeed the less likely they are to give up trying.

Not entirely. Several differing studies have shown that criminals typically have very high self esteem. (I deserve XX but can't buy it so I'll steal it from the jerk that doesn't deserve it)

Also many successful people have very low self esteem and push themselves to exceptional levels in a constant attempt to 'prove' themselves. Many work-a-holics have self esteem issues. They can be highly productive, even if they are self destructive.

Averages and Normals are not the same!!!!
Example:
more than 96% of americans have and above average number of limbs.
The average number of limbs a person has is about 3.996. Most people have 4.

-----------------------------------------------------
Sometimes it is more important to protect LIFE than Liberty

[Zennie 0]

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Also many successful people have very low self esteem and push themselves to exceptional levels in a constant attempt to 'prove' themselves.

*cough*noideawhatyouretalkingabout*cough*

The worst part? It's never good enough.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[lawrocket 3]

Ah, self esteem. My wife thinks I have tons of it, for I drive a grandpa car, dress conservatively, and in no way act at all "cool." She is convinced that I must have high self esteem to be happy with that.

I used to disagree. I always thought I had low self esteem - too low to be a poseur. So, I reckon self esteem is being content with onesself, and knowing who you are. This means knowing your flaws and weaknesses (i.e., knowing that you don't need to go to that 120 when you are currently on a 190, since staying alive is better than lookign cool).

Self-esteem is a double edged sword, though. My old boss had very little - and was driven, ambitious, wealthy and a damned good attorney. His self esteem put him there, but he was never happy with what he had. Thus, he was usually depressed. He couldn't get out of it.

I've found in my studies (family law will really open your eyes) that those who you think have low self-esteem have the most. Nerds are typically pretty full of self esteem into their late 20's.

Someone pointed out that criminals have high self esteem. I've found the opposite. People with high self esteem don't care about being disrespected. People with high self esteem don't say, "I want that, so I'll take it." People with high self esteem, you would assume, would say, "Nice stereo. That guy's got good taste. But I don't need it."

Some criminals no doubt have very high self esteem. Plenty of these guys do. But the ones who do are successful often because they know how to keep their mouths shut.

Braggarts have low self esteem. I think I am prone to bragging at times.

Cats like billvon, who's got every reason in the world to brag, and never does, would seem to me to have some pretty high self esteem. I wish I could be like that.

My wife is hotter than your wife.