Democratic National Convention Schedule

[Muenkel 0]

6:00pm: A non-donominational moment of silence (no prayer allowed).
6:01pm: The Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
6:05pm: Seminar 1: Jesse Jackson - "Illegitimacy in America".
6:15pm: NEA: Mandatory collection of fecal matter sculptures in public schools.
6:20pm: Book Review: "Living History" by Hillary Clinton (copies available in the lobby).
6:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free needles and condoms available in the lobby.
6:50pm: Break out sessions - Instructions on how to cast your nomination vote on the new butterfly ballot.
7:00pm: Slide Show: Highlights of the Abu Ghraib torture scandal.
7:30pm: Union Mandated Break: Distribution of Welfare Checks and Food Stamps in conference room D.
7:50pm: Sandra Feldman (American Federation of Teachers) - "Raising the Price on Dumbing Down of America"
8:10pm: Seminar 2: Nancy Pelosi - Ralph Nader, An International Terrorist.
8:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Al Franken in the lobby collecting donations for Air America Radio.
8:50pm: Book Review: "My Life" by Bill Clinton (copies available in the lobby)
9:00pm: Security Sweep - Confiscation of all crosses, crucifixes and Bibles from attendees.
9:10pm: Movie Preview: Michael Moore - "Farenheit 9/11".
9:20pm: Hollywood Unites - Whoopi Goldberg, Martin Sheen, Janean Garafalo, Rob Reiner, Barbra Streisand and Sean Penn join hands and chant "Anybody But Bush".
9:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free Canadian prescription drugs in the lobby.
9:50pm: Al Gore and Howard Dean - Screaming epithets about the Bush Administration and the 2000 Florida election.
10:00pm: Barbra Streisand announces the "Free Saddam Hussein" initiative.
10:10pm: Seminar 3: Congressman Barney Frank - "Equal Rights. Legalizing Polygamy, Incest and Pedophilia - America's New Frontier".
10:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Distribution of names, addresses and signatures of deceased people still on the voter registration records.
10:50pm: Senator Robert Byrd - "Diversity in America".
11:00pm: Break Out Sessions - How to keep your constituents "Fat enough to claim credit but needy enough to keep voting for you."
11:20pm: Senator Tom Daschle - Audience participation contest: "Determining the difference between the real John Kerry and cardboard cutouts of John Kerry".
11:30pm: Union Mandated Break - French President Jacques Chirac and Germany's Chancellor Schroeder in the lobby signing autographs.
11:50pm: Senator Ted Kennedy (helped to the podium after drinking all night) announces Democratic Nominee Senator John Kerry.
12:00am: Senator John Kerry accepts the Nomination after declining the Nomination.

[sundevil777 102]

Come on, where did you find that?

I want to know so I can get some more laughs.

People are sick and tired of being told that ordinary and decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am

[Muenkel 0]

The author is my brother.

_________________________________________
Chris

[TheAnvil 0]

Dude - you left out a few key events. Ever helpful, I filled them in for you. LMFAO. Good shyte!

Quote

6:00pm: A non-donominational moment of silence (no prayer allowed).
6:01pm: The Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
6:03 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the U.N.
6:05pm: Seminar 1: Jesse Jackson - "Illegitimacy in America".
6:15pm: NEA: Mandatory collection of fecal matter sculptures in public schools.
6:19 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to feces
6:20pm: Book Review: "Living History" by Hillary Clinton (copies available in the lobby).
6:29 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to Bubba
6:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free needles and condoms available in the lobby.
6:50pm: Break out sessions - Instructions on how to cast your nomination vote on the new butterfly ballot.
6: 58 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to butterflies
7:00pm: Slide Show: Highlights of the Abu Ghraib torture scandal.
7:30pm: Union Mandated Break: Distribution of Welfare Checks and Food Stamps in conference room D.
7:40 pm: Ted Kennedy seminar: The Art of the Keg Stand
7:50pm: Sandra Feldman (American Federation of Teachers) - "Raising the Price on Dumbing Down of America"
8:05 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to dumb people
8:10pm: Seminar 2: Nancy Pelosi - Ralph Nader, An International Terrorist.
8:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Al Franken in the lobby collecting donations for Air America Radio.
8:50pm: Book Review: "My Life" by Bill Clinton (copies available in the lobby)
8:55 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:00pm: Security Sweep - Confiscation of all crosses, crucifixes and Bibles from attendees.
9:10pm: Movie Preview: Michael Moore - "Farenheit 9/11".
9:15 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to Michael Moore
9:20pm: Hollywood Unites - Whoopi Goldberg, Martin Sheen, Janean Garafalo, Rob Reiner, Barbra Streisand and Sean Penn join hands and chant "Anybody But Bush".
9:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free Canadian prescription drugs in the lobby.
9:45 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to Canada
9:50pm: Al Gore and Howard Dean - Screaming epithets about the Bush Administration and the 2000 Florida election.
10:00pm: Barbra Streisand announces the "Free Saddam Hussein" initiative.
10:05 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to Barbara Streisand's nose
10:10pm: Seminar 3: Congressman Barney Frank - "Equal Rights. Legalizing Polygamy, Incest and Pedophilia - America's New Frontier".
10:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Distribution of names, addresses and signatures of deceased people still on the voter registration records.
10:45 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to dead people
10:50pm: Senator Robert Byrd - "Diversity in America".
11:00pm: Break Out Sessions - How to keep your constituents "Fat enough to claim credit but needy enough to keep voting for you."
11:15 pm: Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to fat people
11:20pm: Senator Tom Daschle - Audience participation contest: "Determining the difference between the real John Kerry and cardboard cutouts of John Kerry".
11:30pm: Union Mandated Break - French President Jacques Chirac and Germany's Chancellor Schroeder in the lobby signing autographs.
11:50pm: Senator Ted Kennedy (helped to the podium after drinking all night) announces Democratic Nominee Senator John Kerry. Prior to proposing a toast.
12:00am: Senator John Kerry accepts the Nomination after declining the Nomination.
12:15 am: Senator Ted Kennedy offers a closing toast.

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[MC208B 0]

Now that's some funny stuff

[Muenkel 0]

Bump.

_________________________________________
Chris

[PhreeZone 20]

Ah.. then your brother might want to help this guy out http://www.foxnews.com/story/0%2C2933%2C118693%2C00.html

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[quade 4]

The actual schedule can be found here.

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/special/president/convention/dnc/schedules/index.html

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

6:00pm: A non-donominational moment of silence (no prayer allowed).
6:01pm: The Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
6:05pm: Seminar 1: Jesse Jackson - "Illegitimacy in America".
6:15pm: NEA: Mandatory collection of fecal matter sculptures in public schools.
6:20pm: Book Review: "Living History" by Hillary Clinton (copies available in the lobby).
6:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free needles and condoms available in the lobby.
6:50pm: Break out sessions - Instructions on how to cast your nomination vote on the new butterfly ballot.
7:00pm: Slide Show: Highlights of the Abu Ghraib torture scandal.
7:30pm: Union Mandated Break: Distribution of Welfare Checks and Food Stamps in conference room D.
7:50pm: Sandra Feldman (American Federation of Teachers) - "Raising the Price on Dumbing Down of America"
8:10pm: Seminar 2: Nancy Pelosi - Ralph Nader, An International Terrorist.
8:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Al Franken in the lobby collecting donations for Air America Radio.
8:50pm: Book Review: "My Life" by Bill Clinton (copies available in the lobby)
9:00pm: Security Sweep - Confiscation of all crosses, crucifixes and Bibles from attendees.
9:10pm: Movie Preview: Michael Moore - "Farenheit 9/11".
9:20pm: Hollywood Unites - Whoopi Goldberg, Martin Sheen, Janean Garafalo, Rob Reiner, Barbra Streisand and Sean Penn join hands and chant "Anybody But Bush".
9:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Free Canadian prescription drugs in the lobby.
9:50pm: Al Gore and Howard Dean - Screaming epithets about the Bush Administration and the 2000 Florida election.
10:00pm: Barbra Streisand announces the "Free Saddam Hussein" initiative.
10:10pm: Seminar 3: Congressman Barney Frank - "Equal Rights. Legalizing Polygamy, Incest and Pedophilia - America's New Frontier".
10:30pm: Union Mandated Break - Distribution of names, addresses and signatures of deceased people still on the voter registration records.
10:50pm: Senator Robert Byrd - "Diversity in America".
11:00pm: Break Out Sessions - How to keep your constituents "Fat enough to claim credit but needy enough to keep voting for you."
11:20pm: Senator Tom Daschle - Audience participation contest: "Determining the difference between the real John Kerry and cardboard cutouts of John Kerry".
11:30pm: Union Mandated Break - French President Jacques Chirac and Germany's Chancellor Schroeder in the lobby signing autographs.
11:50pm: Senator Ted Kennedy (helped to the podium after drinking all night) announces Democratic Nominee Senator John Kerry.
12:00am: Senator John Kerry accepts the Nomination after declining the Nomination.

You forgot to mention that all this is sponsored and brought to you by Al Jazeera - The People's Television.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

The actual schedule can be found here.

http://www.cnn.com/...schedules/index.html

Paul,

How come no link to the actual schedule for the Republi"kkk"an National Convention?

Can't satire work both ways?

_________________________________________
Chris

[quade 4]

Quote

How come no link to the actual schedule for the Republi"kkk"an National Convention?

Has the actual one been published yet?

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

Has the actual one been published yet?

Good point, maybe not. But I'm sure you'll post the link to Drunk Monkey's thread when it is.

_________________________________________
Chris

[happythoughts 0]

I watched a little of it last night. They started off with energetic renditions of women dancing and singing to "We are family, I got all my sistahs with me". Followed by "Amazing Grace".

More singing than a Linda Ronstadt concert and less politics.