skymama 37 #1 May 4, 2004 I read in People Magazine that "Faux Mitzvahs" are the latest rage in big cities with a large Jewish population, such as New York, LA and Chicago. It seems that Christian and Muslim children are feeling left out that all their Jewish peers get big parties when they turn 13, so they are begging for parties too...and the parents are throwing them even though their parties have nothing to do with religion or tradition! One father who spent $40,000 on his daughter's party said, "We didn't want her to feel different from her friends. A lot of my Jewish friends tell me they always wanted a Christmas tree and never got one. This is the same thing." Another mother said, "you can't just throw them a party at Chuck E. Cheese". I don't understand why these parents can't say "no" to their kids and explain to them why things are different for them. It's fine to throw a kid a party for their birthday, but it doesn't have to be such a lavish affair just to keep up with their peers. Some of the most fun parties I went to as a child were when we had hot dogs and hamburgers out at the beach. In addition, parents aren't doing their kids any favors by sheltering them so much and making everything fair. It reminds me of sports leagues who don't keep score because they don't want the kids to feel bad for losing. Kids need to learn at a young age that life isn't always fair or else they are going to be in for a rude awakening when they become adults. Good parenting doesn't mean that you should give your kids everything. Good parenting means you should love, guide and teach your children so they will have the skills to grow up to be awesome and productive adults. Parents...just say "no" to faux Mitzvahs! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
falxori 0 #2 May 4, 2004 QuoteA lot of my Jewish friends tell me they always wanted a Christmas tree and never got one. actually i know of many jewish families in the US that have a Xmas tree. It is not taken as a religious thing though, simply as a "holiday spirit" thing, just as non religious christians see it. anyway, so what? if her father has 40,000$ to spend on a birthday party that will make his daughter happy, why shouldnt he? i agree you shouldnt give you child everything and anything. but i guess thats up to the parents. i didnt have a huge party when i turned 13, actually i didn't have a party at all although most of my friends did. instead we went on a long coast to coast trip in the US, which for me was more fun than feeding 250 people i hardly know... O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erroll 80 #3 May 4, 2004 Quote Parents...just say "no" to faux Mitzvahs! I can't agree with you more, Andrea. My stepson turned thirteen this past weekend. We took him and a few mates to a large amusement park (Gold Reef City for the locals). We spent the entire day there, going on the rides (adults included), visiting museums, having lunch consisting of hotdogs and Cokes, and every one had a blast. On a similar note to the Faux Mitzvahs - Over here (as no doubt in the States too) it has become an absolute no-no to wear an off-the-rack dress for the matric farewell dance (similar to your Home-coming ball(?)). The competition is so fierce that the entire evening appears to be some kind of modeling contest! And of course the kids whose parents couldn't afford the dresses (or limos) either don't attend or spend the evening hiding behind pillars. Fortunately my wife is very handy with a sewing machine because I cringe at the amount of money that gets spent (wasted) on peer pressure, keeping up with Jones's kids and just plain extravagance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #4 May 4, 2004 QuoteKids need to learn at a young age that life isn't always fair or else they are going to be in for a rude awakening when they become adults. Good parenting doesn't mean that you should give your kids everything. Good parenting means you should love, guide and teach your children so they will have the skills to grow up to be awesome and productive adults. Unfortunately, there are far too many children in this day in age that aren't learning that life isn't fair. I grew up with several Jewish children in my neighborhood when I lived in Raleigh, and I have to say that at that age I never understood why she got to stay home so much, but to have a Bar Mitzvah for a kid to fit in?!?! That is just downright stupid, but as the last poster said, if the father has $40grand to throw away, it is his right...and his own stupidity, but ok... And in terms of parenting, in a nutshell you sound like you got it...my parents did the same thing. They taught me to work hard to achieve goals, to expect some bumps in the road, and have loved me even when I think I have royally screwed up...... I personally think that the trendy stupid "latest rage in big cities" usually makes me laugh...because of how ridiculous they are......this is definitely one of the funniest...(and dumbest...) ~R+R...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
falxori 0 #5 May 4, 2004 Quotebut as the last poster said, if the father has $40grand to throw away, it is his right...and his own stupidity, but ok... just to make my point clearer, i think $40,000 is way too much for any party, no matter whats the cause. i'm not sure how it is in the US now but here no one comes near these figures for a party. is it stupid to have a fake "bar mitzvah" just because you have jewish friends? sure. but its no different than doing many other things because of peer pressure. O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #6 May 4, 2004 Quoteis it stupid to have a fake "bar mitzvah" just because you have jewish friends? sure. but its no different than doing many other things because of peer pressure. I think it is different in this instance. It's not the same as wanting a designer shirt because everyone else has one too. The Bar Mitzvah is a long standing tradition in the Jewish faith and represents a boy becoming a man, correct? There's a kid on our soccer team who has missed a lot of games this season because he's been going to Hebrew School and practicing for his big day. He's earned his right to have a party thrown for him in the tradition of his family values. The Christian and Muslim kids haven't done anything to deserve a huge party like this other than being in the same circle of friends. There's no reason the parents should feel like they even need to "keep up" with the Jewish families because their situations aren't the same. It's not so much the amount of money the parents are spending (although it is an obscene amount for a kid), it's the fact that the parents just won't tell their kids "no, this kind of party doesn't apply to you."She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
falxori 0 #7 May 4, 2004 ok, i think i've missed your point a little bit (too many religion/culture based threads lately,,, ) different cultures traditionally "annex" customs and even holidays of other cultures, and in some cases its a good thing, especially if you live in that culture. as i said, i agree its stupid and i'd chose another way to make my kid feel special (and i'm pretty sure there are many things to celebrate even if you're not jewish ), O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #8 May 4, 2004 I have a friend who's catholic... her parents threw her a huge party at fifteen for her confirmation, which is when someone becomes an adult in the catholic church. usually requires a couple of years of classes and a big ceremony with the bishop. I think the family was influenced by the many bar/bat mitzvahs that Jan attended for her friends, so they threw a similar party for her religious coming of age. A big party's fine, if you deserve it. Otherwise, a regular birthday party's fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites falxori 0 #9 May 4, 2004 Quote at fifteen for her confirmation, which is when someone becomes an adult in the catholic church. i didn't know that... you learn a new thing every day QuoteA big party's fine, if you deserve it. Otherwise, a regular birthday party's fine. the bigger the better O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #10 May 4, 2004 the choice to become a catholic is made for babies by their parents at baptism. at confirmation, the child (now adult in the eyes of the church) makes that choice for themselves to continue to be a catholic. At this time, they take their baptismal vows for themselves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #11 May 4, 2004 I'm Catholic and I was confirmed at age 12. Different parishes confirm at different ages. My family had a large party for me. This was a way of marking a special milestone in my life. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #12 May 4, 2004 some churches typically do confirmations whenever the bishop can get out there. I know people who've been confirmed the same day they got their first communion, and some people who've had to wait til the end of high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RoadRash 0 #13 May 4, 2004 Quotethe choice to become a catholic is made for babies by their parents at baptism. at confirmation, the child (now adult in the eyes of the church) makes that choice for themselves to continue to be a catholic. At this time, they take their baptismal vows for themselves. I come from a large Catholic family and though I chose not to be confirmed, I have had several friends that did, and technically speaking, becoming an adult has nothing to do with being confirmed...In terms of chosing to uphold the Catholic church and teachings of the Bible, among other things...yeah, that is more or less what you are being "confirmed" for...My father was confirmed at a very young age, and though the age may have increased for confirmation...becoming an adult has nothing to do with being confirmed in the Catholic church...(I know, I thought about going through the process as an adult)... ~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #14 May 4, 2004 There seems to be a lot of confusion as to what the Sacrament of Confirmation is in the Catholic Church. Confirmation is recieving the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is also a time in a young adult's life to renew their baptismal vows by their own consent. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #15 May 4, 2004 Confirmation is supposed to take place at a time when one is old enough to choose for themselves, when they are able to "confirm" the vows that their parents made for them long ago. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RoadRash 0 #16 May 4, 2004 QuoteThere seems to be a lot of confusion as to what the Sacrament of Confirmation is in the Catholic Church. Confirmation is recieving the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is also a time in a young adult's life to renew their baptismal vows by their own consent. Ok, that is what my friend and my dad told me...so I might have been far off in my response...thanks for the clarification!!!~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
falxori 0 #9 May 4, 2004 Quote at fifteen for her confirmation, which is when someone becomes an adult in the catholic church. i didn't know that... you learn a new thing every day QuoteA big party's fine, if you deserve it. Otherwise, a regular birthday party's fine. the bigger the better O "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #10 May 4, 2004 the choice to become a catholic is made for babies by their parents at baptism. at confirmation, the child (now adult in the eyes of the church) makes that choice for themselves to continue to be a catholic. At this time, they take their baptismal vows for themselves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #11 May 4, 2004 I'm Catholic and I was confirmed at age 12. Different parishes confirm at different ages. My family had a large party for me. This was a way of marking a special milestone in my life. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #12 May 4, 2004 some churches typically do confirmations whenever the bishop can get out there. I know people who've been confirmed the same day they got their first communion, and some people who've had to wait til the end of high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #13 May 4, 2004 Quotethe choice to become a catholic is made for babies by their parents at baptism. at confirmation, the child (now adult in the eyes of the church) makes that choice for themselves to continue to be a catholic. At this time, they take their baptismal vows for themselves. I come from a large Catholic family and though I chose not to be confirmed, I have had several friends that did, and technically speaking, becoming an adult has nothing to do with being confirmed...In terms of chosing to uphold the Catholic church and teachings of the Bible, among other things...yeah, that is more or less what you are being "confirmed" for...My father was confirmed at a very young age, and though the age may have increased for confirmation...becoming an adult has nothing to do with being confirmed in the Catholic church...(I know, I thought about going through the process as an adult)... ~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #14 May 4, 2004 There seems to be a lot of confusion as to what the Sacrament of Confirmation is in the Catholic Church. Confirmation is recieving the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is also a time in a young adult's life to renew their baptismal vows by their own consent. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #15 May 4, 2004 Confirmation is supposed to take place at a time when one is old enough to choose for themselves, when they are able to "confirm" the vows that their parents made for them long ago. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #16 May 4, 2004 QuoteThere seems to be a lot of confusion as to what the Sacrament of Confirmation is in the Catholic Church. Confirmation is recieving the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is also a time in a young adult's life to renew their baptismal vows by their own consent. Ok, that is what my friend and my dad told me...so I might have been far off in my response...thanks for the clarification!!!~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
