Greg 0 #1 March 30, 2001 From the mouths of babes.....A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, eating a snack cake while her dad gets his hair cut.The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie.""I know," she replies. "And I'm gonna get tits too."Not sure about you folks, but I needed a laugh this morning!!Blue ones!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greg 0 #2 March 30, 2001 "Excuse Notes from Parents"Real notes written from parents in a Texas school district. Original spellings left intact:My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.Please excuse Linda for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words were crossed out in the ( )'s]Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zach 0 #3 March 30, 2001 Those sick notes were funny as hell. The one where they found the Sunday paper on Monday and thought it was Sunday was my favortie I think. I don't think people as absent minded as that should be raising kids. Thanks for the post. :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cacophony 0 #4 March 31, 2001 I took a nap once when I got home from school. I woke up around 7:00. It looked kindof light outside so I thought that maybe I had slept through the night (like I did the week before). My mom wasn't home so I figured that she was at work. I got up and took a shower, got dressed, and ate breakfast. I figured that I would get to school a little late. My school is about 20 minutes away and when I got there there was nobody there. Suddenly it hit me. It was 7:00 pm!! I didn't notice this because none of my clocks say AM or PM on them. The only one that did was turned at a slight angle so I couldn't see the little light. I was so mad. This is a true story too. It happened last year. I haven't done it since though. I'm retarded.Safe landings,Alex D-23912 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyhawk 2 #5 March 31, 2001 haven't done it since though. I'm retarded.ha ha ha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Craig 0 #6 March 31, 2001 QuoteIt looked kind of light outside so I thought that maybe I had slept through the night...LOL At least I am not the only one who has done this! I can say that I did not make it as far as leaving to actually go to school/work though. Just a few minutes of being confused and worried that the boss is going to chew me out.CraigEdited by Craig on 3/30/01 06:24 PM. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
