BAD AMERICANS - Posted by cyber

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I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am _________
I like big cars, big hooters and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
midlevel governmental functionary
with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts
squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.
> > I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
>Marilyn Manson sang.
> >
> > I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
> > I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
> > I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
> > I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in
>English.
> > I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
>unpopular opinions or actions.
> >
> > I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
> > I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
>than working at Blockbuster.
> > In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass
>through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
> >
> > I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just
>leave the rest of us out of it.
> > This also applies to sexuality.
> > My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn,
>Medicine Woman.
> > I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
> > I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
> > I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
>when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
> >
> > I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years
>in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any
>witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so
> > shut-the-fuck-up already.
> > I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
>Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always
>part of the problem and not the solution.
> > I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
>running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over
>if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
> >
> > I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
>you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world
>for the next four years.
> > I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me
>crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These
>people should be targets.
> > I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license
>should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you
>promise to never delay the rest of us again.
> >
> > I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
> > I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
>parents.
> > I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
>don't pretend they are a political statement.
> > I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
> > I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
>mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
> > I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex
>for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United
>States.
> > If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
> > >

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WWOOHHOO! I love it! :)
Pammi

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LMAO!! Cyber, if that's really you, I agree with everything you said except for the part about beef jerky!
You'll love this, presumably written by State Rep. Mitchell Kaye from GA.
BILL OF NO RIGHTS
We the people of the united states, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblence of justice, and avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote possitive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed wetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the bill of rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but nobody is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatos who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatos.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in free health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foriegn wars just to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like; however, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world, and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being American means that you have the right to pursue hapiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

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What's the deal?? I'm logged in. I swear!
Blue Skies,
GeekStreak

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On a lighter note, have any of you heard this yet? I love it (It'd by Creed):
Never Die
Hands on a window pane
Watching some children laugh and play
They're running in circles
With candy canes and French braids
Inspired to question
What makes us grown-ups anyway?
Let's search for the moment
When youth betrayed itself to age
So let the children play Inside your heart always
And death you will defy
'Cause your youth will never die
In searching for substance
We're clouded by struggle's haze
Remember the meaning
Of playing out in the rain
We swim in the fountain
Of youth's timeless maze
If you drink the water
Your youth will never fade
Never die I won't let go of that youthful soul
Despite body and mind my youth will never die.
Cool :)
Pammi

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good post cyber,
all i could picture was george carlin on stage when i read this...
but one thing about fire works. sure make em legal, but if we're celebrating OUR independence why are we paying the chinese for the fireworks. surely we can make them ourselves. we BIG BAD Americans love to blow shit up, too!!!
jtval