More jokes

[harro 0]

> There are three stories..
>
>
> -- Two Irish men walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird
> section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem!"
>
> The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take
> four of dem dere birds in dat cage dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a
> peeper bag."
>
> The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
> They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the Hills
> and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.
>
> "Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry.
>
> "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
>
> They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss.
>
> "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry.
>
> He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and
> jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and
> goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'.
>
> As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says,
> "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too fockin' dangerous for me"
>
> ======= PART TWO =======
>
> A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he,
> walks up carrying the familiar peeper bag. He pulls a parrot out of the
> bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.
>
> "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of
> the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows
> the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until
> there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom.
>
> Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat
> parrotshooting nider"
>
> ======= PART THREE =======
>
> A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been
> to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'.
> Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself
> off the cliff with the usual result.
>
> Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry with
> his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now you..... fockin'
> hen gliding".
>
Freemind, freesky, freebeer, freefly, freesex

[SpeedRacer 1]

What's the difference between Rolling Stones music and Scottish music?
Rolling Stones music has lyrics like: "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
Scottish music has lyrics like: "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
Speed Racer
"De plaene!! De plaene!!"

[harro 0]

BWA HAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!
Thats good!
Freemind, freesky, freebeer, freefly, freesex

[SpeedRacer 1]

What's the first thing Adam said to Eve?
"Stand back. I don't know how big this thing gets."
------------------------------------
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
Speed Racer
"De plaene!! De plaene!!"

[SpeedRacer 1]

And here's one for the Texans:
Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
A cowboy likes to eat with his hat on!!
Speed Racer
"De plaene!! De plaene!!"