What if you have to sneeze in freefall?

[Michele 1]

12:15 p.m., comes, so I get out to my car, ready to go. No jitters or nerves, just a little too much coffee. I back out of the garage, and drive around the block and come home because I have forgotten my purse. I leave again, and then realize that I have forgotten my log book. Back inside, grab it, and my cats are looking at me, "is she here or not?" and then I am finally at the bank and if I have forgotten anything else it's just too bad, and the lady in line two places in front of me looks at my Perris "free fly" t-shirt. Her eyes widen, and she gasps "you don't mean to tell me that you do that, do you?" which of course makes everyone look at my chest to see what she's talking about. I smile, thinking I haven't told you anything, and then the man in front of me asks: "why do you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" And I start to laugh..... this is the first time I have been asked that question in exactly that manner, and the only thing I think of to say is "no, I just practice so in case there's ever an emergency on a commercial flight I can survive". Which shuts them up pretty fast, but doesn't stop the looks and I can't stop laughing. I get on the highway, and there's two accidents, which makes my drive almost interminable....and I am late to the school, and I hope Nelson and DiverDave haven't decided that I chickened out (which has crossed my mind) so I park, and walk really fast onto the dropzone. I have been able to ignore the fear so far, but now I can't and I feel it blister and swell into a puddle, reaching into my mind and talking to me. I tell it to shut up already - did I say that out loud? And did anyone hear me? And it doesn't matter because here I am at the school, and I take a deep breath and I step inside, and I am sweating more than the heat would account for and I sign in. Nelson sees me from down the hall, and shouts "Michele!" and I look up into his grinning face and I say "Nelson" and we laugh and hug each other and I forget I am scared because Nelson is here, and now Ed is here, too.
Stuart takes me into the harness room, and I am not having fun yet. I don't get many of the answers right, but he seems to think I won't have a problem, and so lets me out of that hot sweltering place and now I really feel the fear, feel it tug on my mind, and roll through my body and take up residence in my belly. Are my shoelaces too tight? I think about anything else other than jumping but that's hard to do because everyone is getting ready, and walking through their dives and getting suited up and so I gather the gear together and put it in one spot and then I have to leave, I moan and move into the open I have to get outside, and breathe, get quiet in my head and pretend that this is fun and I know what I'm doing and I can do this damnit I have done this, and I am fine. But I can't hear my own self talking over the clamoring noise; then I see Ed.
Or rather, he sees me, and comes over and hugs me. I tell him that I am borrowing his confidence in me for a while and could he share? We walk through the dive, and for the first time it occurs to me that I will be at the door with no-one on one side of me, just the door and me and then Ed, and then I suit up and I see Ed getting into a blue suit for the first time and I wonder what that's all about and then he puts on weights and I still don't understand what's going on but my radio works and so I sling the harness onto my back and I can't get the leg straps done because I am suddenly shaking and my palms are wet and I get mad. Mad because this panic is here again, and I know what I can do, I have done it, and I will not let a stupid strap defeat me, and I will not let a door defeat me and I will not let my head defeat me so I ask Mike to please strap this damn thing and he does.
I leave the school, and walk down to the loading area. I am hot, mad, scared again, and I mentally shake myself. Hard. My head pictures the panic and wraps it up into a little ball, puts it in a box, duct tapes the box, and sticks it on the shelf of my mind. I will not have it present. I refuse. But it creeps back out as I walk up the stairs to the plane. And then it occurs to me that this is part of the experience, not to be fought, but to be handled. To be accepted as my experience doing this level, at this time, in this way. And once I understand that, the panic recedes, like the tide going out, and while there is still fear, it is not drowning me. On the ride up, Ed asks if I have any questions, and the one which has been bothering me for a while is "what if you have to sneeze in freefall?" so I ask it, and then Ed just looks at me. And he asks Mike, and then Mike just looks at me. I decide that I don't really need to find out the answer, and I am touching the BOC and feeling for the handles, it's reassuring me because my body remembers where they are and now it's 12.5 and Nelson gets to the door and out of it, and he does it great (I know - I have it on video) and then another lady Kim goes for her level two (yay Kim!), and then it is just me, Ed, and Mike is doing the vid so he's outside now, and then I am lining up my feet with - nothing - no one is there -but the sky is, and I remember that I like the sky so I crouch down, take a really deep breath and look at Ed, and nod my head. Out-in-go, I am out, and I am arching, and I am back in my playground, and I feel the wind reaching for me, and holding me, cradling me, and I am free again. Free, and in total wonder and awe, and joyous because I can fly, I am not scared anymore and that I can reach out into the sky.
I get steady, and then Ed lets me go. I immediately start to spin, but slow enough for it to not worry me. I check the altitude and then I look in front of me, expecting Ed, but he's not there, so I turn my head to look for him, and here he is, so I try to correct myself and I am laughing because I see him in front of me then he's gone again going up, and I am by myself and I am fine and it's so incredible and intense and I see Ed again, and Mike the camera man, and Ed looks kind of funny because he keeps moving around and I can tell I'm not moving much anymore because the mountains aren't moving too much, and I check the alti and it's 7 and I try to tell Ed because he's in front of me again but then he's gone again and I laugh, trying to find him, looking over my shoulder, and I look back to my altimeter, and even though there's no-one in sight, I shake my head and stare at my altimeter because it's at 6 and then here comes Ed again but I signal I'm pulling and then I pull and now I am floating - the sudden silence is deafening. I shout wordless joy into the wind, and I do a canopy check, and everything looks great, and I look to the horizon and I see other parachutes and bright colors, it looks like a Picasso painting up here. There is such a blueness to the sky! I face into the sun, and let the immense grandness of this sight take my heart away.
But then I remember I want to practice something this time, so I try to do some of the things I have learned here; I go to half brakes and try a flat turn for 360, which goes really well, and then I sashay across the sky, and I turn to get back to the dropzone, and then I see the moon. The three quarters moon over the desert, sharing the bright blue daylight sky with me. And it is glowing, alive, alight, silver, and I want to go there, I want to get closer, I want to be there, and I fly straight at it for a while, and then remember I have to be somewhere soon.
And then suddely the radio crackles, but it is not Ed. It is a news report, talking about arson versus an electrical fire at the local animal shelter, and I start to laugh. I hear the whole story, and I have lost myself in the sky so now I finally look down, and turn into the wind for my final leg. And I know I am not going to make it, I am way off target and there's this 6 foot culvert or canal, dry and compact, right where my path should put me, so I try to decide should I go for the far side but then decide not to because I might do a Wiley Coyote into the side of it and that would hurt, then Ed says flare and I do, and I am late, but I get it down on the far side of the canal, but the edge is right there, so I slide into second base with the spikes up, ground the chute, gather it into my arms, and slide down into the canal. Which is not the right move by any stretch of the imagination, because now I have to try to climb up the other side with the chute in my arms and I try to, but I can't, I just slide down the side and get a faceful of burrs and stickers and then the guy with the red 4X4 pulls up, and tries to help, but that doesn't work either. We get over to a tree, and I hand him my chute and clamber up, and then I am in the truck and we are back at the school and Mike and Ed are there, and they tell me I really have to work on my arch, and then say I fall faster than rocks, and we all laugh but I really don't get it until I see the video, and everyone is laughing because Ed was working so hard to keep up with me. Then Nelson hugged me, and we all went into the Bombshelter, and I bought beer for Mike and another instructor because Ed had already left. I talked with DiverDave (you are really a cool guy! - nice, too) for a while. I start home at sunset, crimson and orange muting into blues and greys and blacks, and drive through the softening darkness, back into the daily world, and I feel almost sad.
I flew by myself today. And I soared along the path of the sun, and I chased the moon.
I hope your weekend is as spectacular.
Ciel bleu-
Michele

[Shark 0]

  Quote

What if you have to sneeze in freefall?

Heck, I don't think I breath.... guess I have *air* gills.As usual, another great adventure you posted!

[FallnAngel 0]

Great story, Michele! I hope you keep posting your adventures, because I really enjoy reading them!! Blue skies, crescent moons,
Karen

[FallingMarc 0]

Beautiful story, Michele! My advice, keep jumping, and keep writing! Marc

[DickMcMahon 0]

You have a great way of describing things ... especially the fear feelings before the jump. Thanks.
Dick
http://www.dickmcmahon.com

[Jessica 0]

Gorgeous. Thank you for sharing.

[Viking 0]

i guess the best way to do it is just pucker up and tilt your head to the side and let it blow!!! that way your main side JM gets the force of the blast!!! Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous?

[Jessica 0]

  Quote

just pucker up and tilt your head to the side and let it blow!!! that way your main side JM gets the force of the blast!!!

LOL! Wouldn't that shoot you across the sky, jetpack-style?

[Viking 0]

well if we are talking thrusters here wouldn't you go faster if you farted in freefall??
Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous?

[Albatross 0]

Isn't flying by yourself great!!! I am glad to see that you made it out again. I think that my level 4 was the best thing ever. As for the sneezing roll over and go but down then you can do what ever. I am going to be out this Sunday and next so let me know if you are going to be out either day.
Chris
Ready, Set, GOOOOOOO
Albatross

[skybytch 273]

Thanks Michele...
Your words bring back the feelings I had when I learned to skydive, and many of the feelings I still have in the air. Keep posting about your jumps!
pull and flare,
lisa
----
I don't think much, therefore I might not be

[Viking 0]

  Quote

I am back in my playground, and I feel the wind reaching for me, and holding me, cradling me, and I am free again. Free, and in total wonder and awe, and joyous because I can fly, I am not scared anymore and that I can reach out into the sky.

*whipes a tear away* that is so Beautiful!!
you should start a book of poetry!! i would buy a copy Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous?

[Billy 0]

Sneeze!!
Hell I wan't a pee bottle in the jump plane!! Love your writing,, gives me goooosebumps!!
B

[skymedic 0]

As always, great story....Oh yeah, just sneaze...

[airann 1]

I like the way you write.
Wonderful and keep on laughing its the best way to experience anything. (except for if you are in bed with somebody, I wouldnt laugh then, bad manners. Then again I might.)
I too have had the canal landings, briar patchs, soybean field, muddy plowed field, field with cows and without cows. I prefer without cows, shoes get icky if you dont watch where you are going or if it is dark, in my case. And if my cnaopy fell in a cow land mine, I would likely be upset, not to mention the fact that I would never hear the end of it. Shyt Canopy, I know that already, thank you.
I went out one time made 3 jumps and 2 were off airport. Close but no cigar. Pretty sure it was Pilot error. Gave me a bad spot. I was doing him a favor for not asking for a go round. I am nice like that. Yeah, thats it, thats my story.
I am pretty tough by now. Lots of scars, makes the girly girls in Corporate America leave me alone. They think I am crazy anyway.
I tell you this, all of it, is worth the 50 or 60 seconds of human flight, plus the canopys up there with you. It is a beautiful thing. Especially the sunset load. On my 100th- we had a 11 way sit, at sunset. Never, have I seen such a very cool sky. It was first of all: raining men, (I was the only girl freeflyer forever, now there is one and 1/2 besides me). Second of all it was almost all of my friends up there!
I passed my 200th sometime back, I dont know when. Getting close to 300, but losing that Protrack really messed up my log book by about 50 jumps. Dang it. I log my jumps, like every other month or something. Hey, I have to get my beauty sleep - I have riser scars on my right cheek, and I have to make up for that until they go away. Might be a couple of weeks. No jokes.
Write some more stuff! My stuff is boring comic relief, strange but true stuff. Later on, when you get a bunch of jumps, you will know what I am talking about. Hard to tell, sometimes I dont know what I am talking about.
Clear Blue and Extra Alt,
AirAnn
http://www.AirAnn.com

[mouth 0]

Like I said babe......
SKY
CHICKS
RULE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm very proud of you and this wonderful accomplishment.
This just goes to show you how very strong you are...like you didn't already know that. (I know better!) Isn't it wonderful how skydiving adds such dimension to our lives?
Lisa