The Calm Before the Storm

[Divadiver 0]

After waiting months, after making excuse after excuse, I scheduled my recurrence jump for this past weekend. First a refresher by sitting in on the ground school class then I'd make my jump (if not Saturday then Sunday for sure).
Friday - The butterflies came and then seemed to finally fade. I prepared myself by e-mailing several friends from Dz.com and confessed my sin of not jumping. I told them that I was going back up and to please think about me and wish me luck. Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!! Thank you for lending me your strength and aggressiveness to take on the challenge!! I found Michele and Donna's post about returning to the sky, and printed those out along with the article that Pammi pointed us to by Jan Meyer.
I only told one person at work that I was going to jump again. She was right there telling me how much I wanted and needed to do this, how much I really loved doing it and missed it (she sounded like one of you guys - yet, strange coming from her since she doesn't skydive). She assured me I'd do just fine, it would all come back to me and I would do fine.
When I left work on Friday, I had my print-outs and I was ready for the weekend to begin. I went to the gym and got on the treadmill so that I could read over the stories and worked out the anxiousness. What wonderful, wonderful people you are to share your experiences and allow the rest of us to learn and draw strength from them!! Thank you so much!!
By the time I left the gym, the sun was setting and I pulled over to admire the sky with it's hazy pink, purple, orange and blue color. I thought about how lucky I am to be able to enjoy this breath taking view and how amazing it was going to be to get back up there again. The light from the sun faded and I headed home to read over the information about the Level 4 jump. COA, PRCP, left 360,COA, right 360, COA, unstable move (I got to choose which one), COA, lock on at 5,500, pull at 5,000. What else, anything??? Go over the dive in my head again, and again. Thinking about kicking the door demon's ass!! No - no you can't have my day - I will NOT allow it!! Once I get to the door - I am OUT!! I not going to worry about the wind trying to blow me back in the plane, I'm not going to give it time, I going OUT, NO HESITATION!! I'M GOING TO KICK ASS and jump in it's face!! Wow, was I tried! I went to bed and slept like a rock.
Saturday - 5:00 am, woke up and started thinking about the jump and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't need to get up until 6:30, but I was wide awake now. Checked out the window, YES! Beautiful day!! After my shower I pulled out my videos and watched them, jeeze, should I have done that, yeah, it felt O.K., my heart wasn't racing and I wasn't in a sweat, it was alright. Time to leave, walked out the back door and thought about how Michele had felt. I had a slight bit of a sinking feeling but it wasn't bad at all. The sky was a brilliant blue with only three small cotton ball clouds. It felt good to be alive, the air was cool, clean and crisp and felt wonderful on my skin. Rolled down the windows in the car and I was off. No speeding, not today Mr. State Policeman - you'll have to have fun with someone else, I'm on a mission and I've got time on my side. Got to the DZ, new stories, and tons of new faces. These young people who weren't even here last year, but they've got their A's (stick fingers in ear and wave while sticking tongue out!! - HA!! Lucky bastards!!)
Sat and listened while in the ground school class, trying not to let my mind wonder. (hey, I remember this stuff!) Worked in the safety harness - YES, needed this, I feel loads better! Wait, I'm not nervous - where's the butterflies and that sinking feeling? I know they're waiting at the plane for me and they're accompanied by a door demon. I know they're there, they'll show up for the load. COA, PRCP, ARCH, ARCH, check arms, legs, go over exit. . . yeah, it's all good. Now, the students wait their turns, I might not make it up today, but I'll hang around because I'm not so sure I'll be this confident if I have to come back tomorrow. Better to get up today, hands aren't shaking, heart isn't pounding - reminds me of my first tandem jump - no nerves, not shaking and I ask myself "Are you Nuts?" "Look at the guy next to you adjusting his altimeter - just look at his hands shaking and he's done this before!!" "I must be nuts."
I get on manifest, it's all good! The JM and I go over the jump, I can do this!! I've done it before!! We're ready, 10 min. call. What, what . . . they shut down the load because they need more jumpers??? HEY, GUYS!! Is this bad, will I get up?? No, still feels good, we kick back and relax and talk a bit.
Finally, we going - we're walking to the plane, get in the plane and sit, we're up. . . Where's the nerves? No, not there yet. They're waiting for me at the door, I just know they are. Someone yells DOOR! And the sound and wind rushes in - we are last to get out so I watch the others move to the door and disappear. We're up and I'm in the door, I get a thumbs up and I my heart is racing, Read-Set- GOOOOOooooo!!! I launch myself out - unstable - I tumble but recover immediately - nailed that ARCH HARD!! COA, PRCP, 360 - woow went well, 360 back in the other direction - a little slow didn't make it all the way around, COA, two more 360s, still plenty of altitude, I flip on my back (ahh, that feels good) and then complete the barrel roll. Still lots of altitude, may as well do some more 360s, then lock on, wave and pull. It's great, there's a square canopy, slider down, no line twists, and I yell at the top of my lungs - WWWOOOOWWWWEEEE!! Check for steerability, flare, hum, lets see that flare and the stall, O.K.!! Where's the airport? There's the runway, oh, yeah, there's the DZ!! Let's spin this baby, first right, then left, this big canopy sure takes some muscle, but let's do it again!!
Overshot the distance on the base leg of the landing pattern, knew I wasn't going to land on target, but wanted to avoid the corn. Woow, that ground sure is coming up fast - wait - flare - oh, shit - feet touch, ankles, knees, hip, shoulder - the perfect PLF (Kingie would be proud if he'd seen that!!!) God that was GREAT!! And I"m current!! Thank you all (especially Michele, Donna, Pammi and Kingie) for your strength and support!!!
HUUUUUGGGGGGS!!!
Diva

[Michele 1]

WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I knew you could do it; you did it; and I am so pleased.
Welcome home, Divadiver. Welcome home!
ciel bleu-
Michele

[PLFKING 4]

Hey Diva !
Just like falling off a log, huh ? 'Bout time you quit screwing around and got back up in the breeze !
Seriously, I am very glad for you.....from reading your post, I got the sense you had a great time (ya THINK !!?!).
That PLF Person

[mouth 0]

Way to GGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!
You rock. I'm so glad the demons didn't get you and all worked out great. Keep at it.
Lisa