Me, myself, and I

[gman 0]

Last Saturday I went down to Perris to do a few jumps. Got my gear from the rental office and set it down in front of a packer. I got to meet some of the other dz.com'ers for a few minutes but didn't stick around with them. I wanted to, but couldn't. This was to be my first solo jump after clearing AFF status. I had a lot of anxiety building up and I just wanted to be alone. I found a bench all to myself, sat down and replayed every single AFF jump in my head. I felt a little better until somebody came up to me and said "wow...you look nervous, are you OK?" What!...is it that noticeable?, He said "I can see it in your eyes ten feet away". We both broke out in a chuckle. I knew it was going to be one of those days.
It was time to gear up and get in the plane. I asked for a gear check from somebody I didn't know and he looked into my eyes and said "will you just relax", damn...I just can't seem to hide my fear. Since I was pulling at 4500 I will be the last one out. On the way up to altitude I kept asking myself "what am I doing here?". We got up to 12.5K and the plane emptied out. It was now my turn, looked behind me and it's just me and the pilot. I looked out the door, hesitated a bit, and just hauled my ass out the door. This jump really scared the hell out of me. Looked around and there was NOBODY. The freefall was uneventful, pulled @ 4500, and as I looked up I asked myself "Is that a mal?" uhh..nope....it was the infamous "Spectre snivel" that I read about. It was also my first time I had to deal with a collapsable slider, I kept pulling on the cord 5 times before it would "catch". I was still too tense and had a less than perfect landing. Got back to the packers and felt a lot better getting the first solo out of the way.
Did a total of 3 jumps that day, and asked myself "what was I so afraid of?". I guess the whole point is that I am my worst enemy. I don't think I'll ever have complete control of my fear, but I think i'll always be able to "haul my ass out the door".
I'm going to take packing lessons this Friday and of course I'll jump it. So I guess I'll have to go through this nonsense with myself all over again. And maybe if I see a familiar face at the DZ, I'll be a bit more sociable, after all you'd think I'd be less nervous as I do more jumps.
-G.L.-

[outthere 0]

Yeah being the last one out of the plane on your first solo is HARD - I went through the exact same thing on mine a couple of weeks ago. Nothing keeping you from just sitting down and riding the plane back to ground - except that if you've seen the way those pilots get back to the runway, you might think freefall is the safer option;)
congrats on your first solo and getting past the door demons unassisted.
e

[zclubber1 0]

Cool! I finished AFF on Saturday at Perris (sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you too much) and did my first 2 solo's on Sunday. Your first solo sounds exactly like mine. It was spooky being in that big ass Skyvan with just me and the pilot. It seemed a lot bigger when it was empty! I just took a breath and dove out the door. It was the first time I didn't have a JM to look at, so I got to actually look around during freefall for a change. It was killer! Biffed my landing pretty hard, though. A little hyperextension of the left knee never hurt anyone. (Not until the next day, at least ) Congrats on your solo's and I'll try to catch up with you next time.
-can't you trip like I do-
Clubber

[JDBoston 0]

Good job! I was last out on both my high solo and my first jump on my own pack job... that last one was a trip. We had a full Super Otter load and had to do a go-round because people took too long at the door. To quote our fine pilot: "Get the fuck out! What the fuck's taking so long?!" Not exactly calming. But it opened!!
Joe

[skymedic 0]

I wonder if they teach all the pilots those words...sounds so familiar. nothing like leaving the bus last. looking towards the pilot and seeing its all empty....that was a total trip.
Marc
Did somebody call a medic

[freaksister 0]

Quote

except that if you've seen the way those pilots get back to the runway, you might think freefall is the safer option;)

ROFLMAO!! That's so true, so true!
Congrats, gman!! You'll make a great skydiver, I'm sure!
Sis

I'm not crazy because I take the right pills everyday.

[Michele 1]

Hey, GMan -
I was so pleased to meet you on Saturday with all the other guys - I guess we met after your solo? I mean, you weren't that nervous when we talked, so I am assuming you had already jumped.
Hey, know what? I chickened out of doing my solo on Sunday. I was tired, I was extremely hung over, but I was also a weenie and chickened out, too. Kudos to you for jumping.
Ciel bleu-
Michele

[AggieDave 6]

Quote

except that if you've seen the way those pilots get back to the runway, you might think freefall is the safer option;)

At my home DZ a whuffo went up for an observer ride (C-182), said he was wanting to join the Marines and be a pilot. Anyways, the jump pilot made him throw up in the plane on the way down. He was doing anything different, just his normal desent from jump run: bank right and circle, watch the jumpers. Bank hard left, turn and desend. It didn't help that the whuffo was white as a sheet when we opened the door AND that he was sitting in the student position right in the door. He had a rig on incase he fell out and he had his seat belt on, but man it scared the crap out of him.
AggieDave '02
-------------
Blue Skies and Gig'em Ags!
BTHO t.u.

[skymedic 0]

Quote

He was doing anything different, just his normal desent from jump run: bank right and circle, watch the jumpers. Bank hard left, turn and desend.

sure hope he didn't shock cool the cylinders on that one...does wonders for the engine.
Marc
Did somebody call a medic

[DZBone 0]

Nice seeing you out there! Get that license so we can make some skydives together!
Waahooooo!

[ClayFowler 0]

Sounds like every Marine Pilot I have ever met. They are god's, just ask them. I just wouldnt suggest being within 200 miles of any location they intend to drop bombs on. It can be hazardous to your health.....
"I want to fly like a silly angel, Lean for the sky, straight into the sun"-Fuel
Clay