signs

[Staso 0]

The following "English Language" signs were observed in various
overseas travel locations throughout the world:
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE
IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,
PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
One of the Mathare buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
In a cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES.
Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM
ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET
THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE
CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
From the "Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC
PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE
OF
DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
TIME.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO RUSSIA, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

[Watcher 0]

Jonathan

[freeflir29 0]

"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS"
Reminds me of a joke. A guy walks up to the ticket counter at the Airport. He tells the agent I'm flying to Chicago but I want my bags to go to Barbados. The agent says "Sir I cant do that" The guy " Why not...you did it last week?"
"I used to know a girl...She had two pirced nipples and a black tattoo"-Everclear
Clay

[hottamaly 1]

LMAO
Those are some of the funniest I've seen. Thanks for sharing.
SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE....

[mouth 0]

Guys remember to turn the cock to the right so there are no leaks>>>>LMAO
Wonder if you'll get a slow right turn if it hangs to the right??

[freaksister 0]

tee-hee!! roflmao! very good, very good
Sis
Before you judge me, take a look at you...

[Watcher 0]

I thought it was to the left.....that explains alot.
Jonathan

[phatcat 0]

Quote

TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

It’s not working! I’ve pissed all over the wall twice. What am I doing wrong? Screw it, I’m going back to the old way of just stopping when I’m done.
"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

[Staso 0]

hey, don't give up that easy, try turning left !
and don't forget to tell us about the results !
:)

[mountainman 0]

I dont think i'm going to try that. Sounds kinda painful and even moreso than the ol Pinch-n-stop trick.
I'll just stick to letting the good vibes "flow".--------------
Drop on in...leave a message

[mouth 0]

So if a guy says his canopy makes a slow turn in one direction I guess we need to remind him to hang it the other way!!

[chicagoskydiver 0]

I think I'm going to leave my values at the front desk and take advantage of the chambermaid!
Hackey

[bbbilly14 0]

This isn't a sign in a foreign country, it is on the back of a magnet on my fridge:
"CAUTION: Eating prohibited Only for seeing Made In China"
"Why live life on the edge when you can jump off"