Hump Day funny....

[TheMarshMan1 0]

A young punk with spiked green, purple and orange hair gets on a bus. His face is riddled with piercings and his earrings are big, bright feather-like things. He sits down next to an old man, who just stares at him. Finally, the punk barks at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart...didnt you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah. Back when I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore, and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

[mountainman 0]

That is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!!
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http://www.JumpinDuo.com
"oh no. Not another one"-Alienangel

[Divadiver 0]

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:
4 worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The last worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day:
First worm - dead.
Second worm - dead.
Third worm - dead.
Fourth worm - alive.
Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.
Diva

• Quote

[scottbre 0]

Watch out for those dirt dives though...

Scott
"Can't keep my mind from the circling sky. Tongue-tied & twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I."

[Slappie 9]

Glass bowl
Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been
married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she
welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat
while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the
young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with
water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock
and surprise. Imagine his curiosity!
Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something...! When she returned with tea
and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better
of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if
you would tell me about this?" (Pointing to the bowl).
"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last
fall and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to
put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you
know...I haven't had a cold all winter."
My New Website with 24hr Chat

[mountainman 0]

*groan*
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http://www.JumpinDuo.com
"oh no. Not another one"-Alienangel

[sunshine 2]

That's hilarious. I actually printed that one out to share with my co-workers. "Leave my brain alone!!" ~ SpongeBob