Osama Bin Laden

[homer 0]

I received this email form one of my NCOs, for all you civilians that Non Commissioned Officer. I hope you like.This poem was written by a 16 yr. old who got an A+ from his teacher.
Osama Bin Laden, your name is short;
We’d rather you die, than come to court.Why are you hiding if it was in God’s name?
You’re just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.
I have a question, about your theory and laws;
"How come you never die for the cause?"
Is it because you’re a coward who counts on others?
Well, here in American, we stand by our brothers.
As is usual, you failed in your mission;
If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin’
Americans are now focused and stronger than ever;
Your death has become our next endeavor.
What you tried to kill, doesn’t live in our walls;
It’s not in buildings or shopping malls.
If all of our structures came crashing down;
It would still be there, safe and sound.
Because pride and courage can’t be destroyed;
Even if the towers leave a deep void.
We’ll band together and fill the holes
We’ll bury the dead and bless their souls.
But then our energy will focus on you;
And you’ll feel the wrath of the Red, White, and Blue.
So slither and hide like a snake in the grass;
Because America’s coming to kick your ass!!!! If there is anyone who has similar poems or material send it to me or post it.
Beware of the toes you step on today, for they may belong to the ASS you kiss tomorrow.

[harro 0]

It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by US Special Forces.
The prime suspect of the recent terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground passage in a remote mountainside of southern Afghanistan.
Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across the southern Afghanistan countryside, and the little prick just popped up.
Freemind, freesky, freebeer, freefly, freesex

[SpeedRacer 1]

Here's the website containing the explanation & lyrics to the Charlie Daniels song, This ain't no rag, it's a flag He was not allowed to perform it at the CMT Country Freedom Concert for the Salvation Army. Apparently the organizers felt the song was a little too un-PC.
Speed Racer
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork from my lunch?!
-WC Fields

[SpeedRacer 1]

I just read some of the other things Daniels wrote on that same website re. the war. Charlie Daniels sounds just like Clay! LMAO
Speed Racer
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork from my lunch?!
-WC Fields

[Jessica 0]

OK, this is funny. By Bill Radke.
From: Bin Laden, Osama [mailto:osama@taliban.com]
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Love you lots.
Osama
Pet me! I'm harmless and cute!

[AggieDave 6]

HHAHAHA!
In another time, that could have been a very funny parode on SNL...
AggieDave '02
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Blue Skies and Gig'em Ags!
BTHO t.u.

[lazerq3 0]

Quote

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

I must be a dork cause I laughed my ass off o that one!!!
jason