The perfect day...

[Alienangel 0]

I was going to post this mildly amusing email I received...until I realised it was a load of whuffo-biased bollocks and didn't mention skydiving in either the male or female option!
Well - thought I'd put it up anyway so you can share your scorn of the non-skydiving community (and yeh..some of it is probably true...especially the male one - 'ice cream served on a pair of tits' and '12 second fart'...lol)
Sorry if you've seen it before, by the way...
> > THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
> > 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
> > 8:30 Weigh 2kg lighter than yesterday
> > 8:45 Breakfast in bed - Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open
> > presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
> > 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
> > 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
> > 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo condition, blow dry
> > 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
> > 12:45 Catch sight of boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7kg
> > 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
> > 15:00 Nap
> > 16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist - card is from secret >
>admirer
> > 16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
> > hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
> > 17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
> > length mirror
> > 19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
> > received from other diners/dancers
> > 22:00 Hot shower [alone]
> > 22:50 Carried to bed...[Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen]
> > 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
> > 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
> >
> > THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
> > 6:00 Alarm > >
> > 6:15 Blow job > >
> > 6:30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section
> > 7:00 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all > >cooked by
> > naked buxom wench
> > 7:30 Limo arrives
> > 7:45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport
> > 9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
> > 9:30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club [Blow job en-route]
> > 9:45 Play front nine [2 under]
> > 11:45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom
Perignon
> > 12:15 Blow job
> > 12:30 Play back nine [4 under]
> > 14:15 Limo back to airport
> > 14:30 Fly to Monte Carlo
> > 15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female Crew [all nude]
> > 16:30 Land world record Marlin [1234lbs] on light tackle
> > 17:00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson
> > 18:45 Sh*t, shower, shave
> > 19:00 Watch news - Brad Pitt assassinated; marajuana and porn legalised
> > 19:30 Dinner - Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon, big juicy fillet steak
> > followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits
> > 21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you
> > watch the Match of the Day
> > 21:30 Sex with three women [all with lesbian tendencies]
> > 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale
> > 23:30 Night cap blow job
> > 23:45 In bed alone
> > 23:50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
> > leave the room

[freeflir29 0]

You just have to add jumping in from the plane rides and yes.....that would be a perfect day. "and I'm not easily impressed...Ooohh look...a blue car!" -Homer Simpson

[mountainman 0]

that pretty much covers it!! however, where is the skydiving?? Oh wait....that is how we get there. Pop the door and land on the golf coarse and at the harbor. Thanks!
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http://www.JumpinDuo.com
"oh no. Not another one"-Alienangel

[AggieDave 6]

BWHAHAHAHA
Well, out of all of those, I think I've accomplished the Whiskey, pizza, beer, and the fart...maybe a couple more, like my private jet and stuff.
AggieDave '02
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Blue Skies and Gig'em Ags!
BTHO t.u.

[Divadiver 0]

Quote

A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

(Diva having a good hardly laugh, as she visualizes dog walking away with tears in eyes.)
Diva

[fred 0]

Quote

> > 6:00 Alarm

See, I think it fell apart right here.
Now, to wake up to the 6:15 blowjob, well, that would be a different story.

[FallingILweenie 0]

No way i could get up that early, but I think i could make the 12:15 blowjob. A perfect day ends going to sleep at like 6am, doesn't it???
blue skies
Tomas

[SpeedRacer 1]

I remember one time when my girlfriend woke my up by f&*king me. I was totally asleep until she just climbed on board. (She had already awakened a part of me, while the rest of me was asleep) That was how I woke up! She took care of everything before hand (in terms of getting herself in the right, er, state). I slept right thru the foreplay & everything! That was just about the most perfect way to wake up! I wish I had an alarm clock that did that!
Speed Racer
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork from my lunch?!
-WC Fields

[lummy 4]

----------------------------------
SpeedRacer wrote:
I slept right thru the foreplay & everything! That was just about the most perfect way to wake up! I wish I had an alarm clock that did that!
---------------------------
Hmmmm only thing that comes close to that wake up call is doing the waking ;)

[freeflir29 0]

"I slept right thru the foreplay & everything"
Hell....that is the perfect day!!!
"and I'm not easily impressed...Ooohh look...a blue car!" -Homer Simpson