Slappie 9 #1 January 4, 2002 No Honor Student HereThese are actual comments made on students' reportcards by teachers in the New York City public schoolsystem. All teachers were reprimanded but, they, arefunny!!!1. Since my last report, your child has reached rockbottom and has started to dig.2. I would not allow this student to breed.3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of anidiot.5. Your son sets low personal standards and thenconsistently fails to achieve them.6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks theplastic thing to hold it all together.7. This child has been working with glue too much.8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she shouldsell.9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, butthe train isn't coming.10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have tobe watered twice a week.11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that createdthis child beat out 1,000,000 others.12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitelydeadMy New Website with 24hr Chat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #2 January 4, 2002 Don't forget my personal favorites:"Dim""Needs help getting the synapses to fire" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #3 January 4, 2002 The teachers probably aren't much better......"I got some beers....Let's Drink em!!!"Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #4 January 4, 2002 DING DING DING We have a winner!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NtheSeaOrSky 0 #5 January 4, 2002 Quote1. Since my last report, your child has reached rockbottom and has started to dig. shows obvious persistence and commitment.....most would stop at rock bottom and give upQuote 2. I would not allow this student to breed. Hitler!!!Quote3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. shows optimism.......could have been delusions of inadequacyQuote4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of anidiot.he wouldn't want to jeopardize your job!Quote5. Your son sets low personal standards and thenconsistently fails to achieve them.Always be consistent!Quote6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks theplastic thing to hold it all together. Why hold 'em together??? Clay's just gonna drink 'em! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #6 January 4, 2002 "Clay's just gonna drink 'em!"and how!!!!!!!!!!"What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? .......Oh look! Somebody left beer in the ash tray!" -Barney/Simpsons"I got some beers....Let's Drink em!!!"Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NtheSeaOrSky 0 #7 January 4, 2002 Quote7. This child has been working with glue too muchwould you prefer nail gun??????Shows creativity!Quote8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she shouldsell.Is that when you sell your body???? Experienced advice???Quote9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, butthe train isn't coming.Stand on the tracks and see if you can get a better view!!Quote10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have tobe watered twice a week. Is that how you get your hair to grow??????Quote 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that createdthis child beat out 1,000,000 others. Its craftiness, not speed that mattersThe other sperm got lost Quote12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitelydead He's not dead just hungoverDamn good hamster to be dead and still make the wheel turn! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NtheSeaOrSky 0 #8 January 4, 2002 Quote"Dim"I got your DIM!!!Quote"Needs help getting the synapses to fire"You will see something firing, and it isnt gonna sound like synapses!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chickenhawk420 0 #9 January 4, 2002 "2. I would not allow this student to breed."Your mom should of swallowed you "10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have tobe watered twice a week."Ummm Hydro. Personaly i water myself with Beeeer regularly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallinWoman 1 #10 January 4, 2002 As a teacher it is my fantasy to be allowed to say such things about a student. I firmly believe that at the end of the year I should be allowed to bitch-slap the one student who annoyed me the most over the course of the year....my administration is not going for it, though!"It's not the heights that I am afraid of, it is the impact that bothers me." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #11 January 4, 2002 "I should be allowed to bitch-slap the one student who annoyed me the most"I'm glad that wasn't the policy when I was growing up. I would have gotten slapped a lot....."I got some beers....Let's Drink em!!!"Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NtheSeaOrSky 0 #12 January 4, 2002 As a student who has has these things said about them on paper, I firmly believe I should be able to bitch slap the instructor who wrote them! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freaksister 0 #13 January 4, 2002 Great comebacks Sky! Esp. the one about standing in front of the train...heheSisI feel so alive,for the very first time-and I think I can fly! - P.O.D. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #5 January 4, 2002 Quote1. Since my last report, your child has reached rockbottom and has started to dig. shows obvious persistence and commitment.....most would stop at rock bottom and give upQuote 2. I would not allow this student to breed. Hitler!!!Quote3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. shows optimism.......could have been delusions of inadequacyQuote4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of anidiot.he wouldn't want to jeopardize your job!Quote5. Your son sets low personal standards and thenconsistently fails to achieve them.Always be consistent!Quote6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks theplastic thing to hold it all together. Why hold 'em together??? Clay's just gonna drink 'em! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 January 4, 2002 "Clay's just gonna drink 'em!"and how!!!!!!!!!!"What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? .......Oh look! Somebody left beer in the ash tray!" -Barney/Simpsons"I got some beers....Let's Drink em!!!"Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #7 January 4, 2002 Quote7. This child has been working with glue too muchwould you prefer nail gun??????Shows creativity!Quote8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she shouldsell.Is that when you sell your body???? Experienced advice???Quote9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, butthe train isn't coming.Stand on the tracks and see if you can get a better view!!Quote10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have tobe watered twice a week. Is that how you get your hair to grow??????Quote 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that createdthis child beat out 1,000,000 others. Its craftiness, not speed that mattersThe other sperm got lost Quote12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitelydead He's not dead just hungoverDamn good hamster to be dead and still make the wheel turn! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #8 January 4, 2002 Quote"Dim"I got your DIM!!!Quote"Needs help getting the synapses to fire"You will see something firing, and it isnt gonna sound like synapses!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chickenhawk420 0 #9 January 4, 2002 "2. I would not allow this student to breed."Your mom should of swallowed you "10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have tobe watered twice a week."Ummm Hydro. Personaly i water myself with Beeeer regularly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallinWoman 1 #10 January 4, 2002 As a teacher it is my fantasy to be allowed to say such things about a student. I firmly believe that at the end of the year I should be allowed to bitch-slap the one student who annoyed me the most over the course of the year....my administration is not going for it, though!"It's not the heights that I am afraid of, it is the impact that bothers me." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #11 January 4, 2002 "I should be allowed to bitch-slap the one student who annoyed me the most"I'm glad that wasn't the policy when I was growing up. I would have gotten slapped a lot....."I got some beers....Let's Drink em!!!"Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #12 January 4, 2002 As a student who has has these things said about them on paper, I firmly believe I should be able to bitch slap the instructor who wrote them! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freaksister 0 #13 January 4, 2002 Great comebacks Sky! Esp. the one about standing in front of the train...heheSisI feel so alive,for the very first time-and I think I can fly! - P.O.D. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
