funny aviation stories

[weid14 0]

A Cobra helicopter practicing auto rotations during a military night
training exercise had a problem and landed on the tail rotor, separating
the tail boom. Fortunately, it wound up on its skids, sliding down the
runway
doing 360s in a brilliant shower of sparks. As the Cobra passed the tower,
the following exchange was overheard:
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, tower. We ain't done crashin' yet."
****************
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a
three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between
aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two
thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four
thousand dollars worth."
***************
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing rollout after landing with his
approach speed just a little too high. "American 751 Heavy, turn right at
the end if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of highway 5
back to the airport."
*************
Tower: "American 702 heavy, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7."
American 702: "Tower, American 702 heavy switching to Departure...by the
way, as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of
the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact
Departure on 124.7...did you copy the report from American?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff...and yes, we copied
American and we've already notified our caterers."
***************
A C-141 was preparing for departure from a base in Thule, Greenland and
they were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage
holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, but the truck was late
in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in
getting the tank pumped out. When the Aircraft Commander berated the Airman
for his lack of speed and promised to pursue punitive action, the Airman
responded:
"Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I am stationed in Thule and I
am pumping shit out of airplanes. Just what are you planning to do to punish
me?"