More Friday Fun

[Nick 0]

Office Dares:
Keep a running total and see how many points you can score by the end of the day and see who wins - there are points for every dare completed:
***ONE~POINT GAGS***
Ignore the first five people who say Good morning to you.
Phone someone in the office who you barely know, leave your name and say: "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other non-player must be in the bathroom at the time).
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your arse and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily "Mmmmmmmmm, that feels sooooooo good?".
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say Sorry, "really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
***THREE POINT GAGS***
Say to your boss "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
***FIVE POINT GAGS***
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself)
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two"
After every sentence, say "mon" in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the reports on your desk, mon" Keep this up for one hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce !As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
In a colleague's diary, write in lOam: "See how I look in tights".
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say "I can't talk about it".
Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
***HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB***
Tell your boss the reason you were late was because you fancied a shag with a hooker before work.
Stumble back from lunch, two hours late, piss ed as a fart chanting The Venga bus is coming
Fart out last night's vindaloo during an appraisal and turn round to sniff the seat.
Photocopy your tits/arse and pin them on the notice board.
Ask the chief executive for some Rizlas.
Grow a cannabis plant on your desk.
Tell the boss you'll "Send the boys round" - if they don't authorise your pay rise.
Admit you traded in your company car for a two week shag-fest in Ibiza.
Set up your own S & M dungeon in the stationery cupboard.
Bring a sleeping bag to work for those little afternoon naps!
Pawn your computer because you're skint till pay day.
Ask the boss's wife "Have you noticed that one of your husband's balls hangs lower than the other".
Call the boss to your desk, call him "Sonny" and tell him his work isn't up to scratch.
Start a one-man/woman Mexican wave every time someone leaves their desk.

Have a good one.
Nick

[larry 0]

Thanks Nick!
Had to stop reading several times because I was trying so hard to stifle a laugh. People I work with have no sense of humor. I would love to do some of this to shake them up a bit, but I need the jump money.
-Larry

[FallinWoman 1]

oh, my god!! I soooo needed that!
thank you!
Anne
"It's like a Tupperware party with dildos and lots of beer."

[flow 1]

Posts like this should be banned. :)
Now everyone thinks I'm somekind of an geek or something as I was trying to hold my laugh, and when it is just too much you body starts to shake and you still can't hold the laugh.
I had to read some other post in the middle to stop laughin.

[AggieDave 6]

I can see that happening...
"*muffled laugh* hehehehhheeheh *shake-shake-shake* hehehheheheheh *PFFFHFHFHFHFHFHT*"
translation: muffling laugh induced fart
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.-General George Patton-