How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

[Zennie 0]

Sorry for the all caps, but I'm just cutting & pasting an email...
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH
SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.

3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPERSIZED.

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"

5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS.
ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.

6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."

7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."

8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION

9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.

11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS
"TO GO."

12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE
POEMS DON'T RHYME.

14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA.PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, SCOTTIE TOO HOTTIE.

17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON!", "I WON!", "3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"

18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER. "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
"Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense."

[JumpingKayAus 0]

I like the one about the coffee......I'm gonna try it!!! hehehehe
Standing behind him even when he's wrong~JumpingKayAus

[AggieDave 6]

Another One:
Ask ppl in the elevator what floor they want, block the panel and press the wrong button. When they point out your mistake, push another wrong button. Continue until the only button left unpushed is the one they want.
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.-General George Patton-

[Muenkel 0]

Another one:
Ask that your email address be changed to masteroftheuniverse@dropzone.com.
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[Zennie 0]

Get in a crowded elevator. Pick a floor next to one that's already been pressed. Stand back to the door and look at everyone with a crazed look on your face. When you get to your floor, get out, run up/down to the next floor and wait. When the elevator opens, with a similarly crazed look say...
"I heard what you all were saying about me...."

"Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense."

[Muenkel 0]

And yet another one:
Go through the critical care unit of the hospital and stamp all charts "do not resuscitate".
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[hisgoofyness 0]

or when the elevator gets to your floor dive out... only to reach back inside and grab your hat just before the door closes "indiana jones style"
or simply just sit down in the elevator
hisgoofyness
its a bird, its a plane, no wait, its one goofy s.o.b.

[Muenkel 0]

How about when you get in the elevator on an upper floor, wear your rig and pull the ripcord when the doors close?
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[AggieDave 6]

Get into a crowded elevator last, stand facing the back of the elevator instead of the door and try to make eye contact with the ppl in there. Or, you can do that and speak up saying "thank you for being able to make it to this meeting on such short notice..."
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.-General George Patton-

[skymedic 0]

Quote

Go through the critical care unit of the hospital and stamp all charts "do not resuscitate

while the others you could do...this one would be impossible....
marc
"...a mind stretched with new idea's will never regain its shape"