Joke

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

I had 12 bottles of scotch in my house, and my wife told me to empty them down the sink 'or else'. So I said I would empty the down the sink. I proceeded with the unhappy task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle, and poured the contents down the sink after drinking a glass.
I extracted the cork from the 2nd bottle and did likewise with the exeption of one glass which I drank.
I withdrew the cork from the third bottle, and emptied the contents down the sink expert for one glass which I consumed.
I then pulled the cork out of the 4th sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork off the next and drank one sink of it, and drew the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass, and poured the cork down the next bottle.
I then pulled the cork from my throat and the sink down the bottle and drank the glass.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the sink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles and the corks with the other, which were 29. To be sure I counted them again when they came by and I had 74, and as the house came by, I counted them again. Finally I had all the houses and bottles and corks and glasses counted exept for one house and one bottle which I drank.
I am not under the affluence of incohol, as some thinker peep I am, nor am I half so think, as they drunk I am, but I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand the longer I get.
God’s word on hook turns (Monty Python):
...and the Lord spake, saying
"First shalt thou open thy parachute,
When thou seekest to land thyself
then shalt thou do three hook turns,
no more, no less.
Three shall be the number of hook turns thou shalt do,
and the number of the hook turns shall be three.
Four hook turns shalt thou not do, neither hook turn thou twice,
excepting that thou then proceed to three hook turns.
Five hook turns is right out.
Once the hook turns are three, being the third hook turn,
then prepare thou thy most precious face and sacred body to meet earth,
and thus since thou art being naughty in my sight,
I shall snuff you deep into the ground for all to see,
and behold my wonderous power."
-- Landings 2:9-21
my mind is like a canopy - 9 cells and I'm happy