FallingMarc 0 #1 February 15, 2002 It all started with "Ruminations from the Graveyard Shift", back so many weeks ago, the first time I covered the midnight-8 a.m. shift. I was bored, and I have access to a computer at the desk here.Then, with "Ruminations Part II", a pattern was established... this is how I keep myself sane for the 5 hours after 3 a.m. when NOTHING HAPPENS.Now, just when you thought my haiku were bad enough... I cover the night shift the night of Valentine's Day! Lock up your children, lest they read my bitter, sleep-deprived, frustrated thoughts, and laugh with nervous awkwardness as my disjointed ideas flow straight from my caffeinated brain to the internet!First things first. Valentine's Day(preferably V.D. or "Singles Awareness Day") is a crock of shit. I've never had a V.D. that didn't suck major ass. So you're shacking with someone on a regular basis. Piss off. I don't want to see you making out while I'm trying to eat lunch.I worked this morning as well, when all the flowers and shit came in. Aww, that's so sweet. I just want to know why all the balloons say "I love you," etc., when they just mean, "Let's have sex." Yeah, I'm bitter. Piss off.Words of wisdom from, well, me:If you're getting 5 hours of sleep a night, consistently, don't volunteer to stay up until 8. Yeah, I'm getting paid. But I think I'd be better off asleep. Then again, at this point, I'm starting to consider the merits of building a fire here in the lobby. I mean, it's hard to fall asleep on the job with sprinklers dousing you with cold water. Oh wait, my building is cheap, we don't have a sprinkler system. Now the word "sprinkler" is starting to look really goofy. Sprinkler sprinkler sprinkler. Oops, now it looks normal again. I guess I learned my lesson there.You know, I think the movie "Gladiator" is pretty bitchin. Yeah, bitchin. That's it. It's bitchin when that one dude kicks those other dudes' asses. Then he goes and kicks that big guy's ass, and that other dude is all like "dude, I gotta kick this dude's ass, but I can't, so I'll do some bad shit first." Then he kicks the dude's ass anyway! Ha! That's pretty bitchin. Sorry for giving it away if you haven't seen it.All those who have a strong desire to skydive in the near future say "ikki ikki ikki ZOOP-boing."Remember! Name tag!I successfully pissed off a couple of friends today by being honest. Then they got more pissed when I shut up. The only option left is to lie. Therefore, we should all go out drinking.Ok, it's time to chek the seplling and stop for a wile. Have no fear, it's only 4:22, I will undoubtedly have more thoughts as the night progresses.Marc MalletteA-39015Dictator-For-Life of the Falling Illini Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #2 February 15, 2002 I've done my time on the night shift. Back in the days when there was no internet. I feel feathers for you now go to sleep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingMarc 0 #3 February 15, 2002 I write this haiku;and, "I feel feathers for you";an inspiring phrase.I write more haikuI have naught better to donow I rhyme haikuOk, I cheatedI rhymed a word with itselfit's late, I'm tiredShit, now I can't stopthe inertia of haikuis too much for meHow long can I spendwriting these dumb things, I ask?And the answer: eight.Hold on, that's not right"eight" answers another one:What is eight times one?So the true answerto my previous questionmust be "until eight."Hee hee hee...Señor Marco del Illinois Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #4 February 15, 2002 <>Now go to sleep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingMarc 0 #5 February 15, 2002 I will sleep at eightthey get mad when I sleep hereon the clock and all.But when I do sleepit will rock.Um, that last sentence wasn't a haiku.Yeah.M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #6 February 15, 2002 QuoteUm, that last sentence wasn't a haiku.I noticed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingMarc 0 #7 February 15, 2002 Update: 5:38 AMThe chick who relieves me at 8 came in a few minutes ago, and told me to call her room at 7:30 to make sure she was actually awake. Bad sign.On the plus side, it's almost 6, and that means I'm almost to my "Two Hours Left Sugar and Caffeine-O-Rama!" I can't wait! It's like Christmas eve!M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingMarc 0 #8 February 15, 2002 Now it's 7. And I've been having a very odd conversation over IM with a very odd person who did not go to sleep tonight, just for the hell of it. Things are getting unbelieveably funny for no reason. It's kinda like being stoned, but without the paranoia. Some fun excerpts from the conversation:Spiderman80: what would REALLY be awkward in a bathroom is if you sang "ten little Indians," but instead of Indians used the word dingleberry.M555555: yeah, that'd be awkwardM555555: or "John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt"M555555: from the inside of a stallM555555: for, say, an hourSpiderman80: Or just yelled "I'M A MIME!" while banging on the sides of the stall.M555555: hahahaM555555: you crazy bastard, mime's don't use public bathroomsSpiderman80: But if they did...Spiderman80: I don't know, all his years of experience, his accent, his encouraging demeanor - could you really have offered her anything close to that?M555555: I can fake an accentM555555: I can fake experience and encouragement, too, for that matterSpiderman80: Please. Kerri Strug sees through these things.M555555: I hate when I walk out of a stall, and everyone's looking at me funnySpiderman80: I always fear that somehow I forgot everything I ever learned and there's just streaks of shit all over the back of my shirt and jeans.M555555: I can't say that that's ever been a significant fear of mineM555555: but now that you mention it, it probably will beSpiderman80: That's what I'm here for.I love quotes out of context.Oh yeah, don't IM Spiderman80. That's not his real IM name. I know what happens when skydivers get bored... I'm M555555 though. Feel free to fuck with my head.The Mullet Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingMarc 0 #9 February 15, 2002 Ok, last update. I swear. I'm not a post whore. Really.I forgot what I was going to say now. Oops. Anyway, I'm ready for it to be summer here. Not for the summer time, as much as for the 80 degree weather. I like going outside in a t-shirt without poking two holes in it. Screw the midwest.What's with this "Fox Sports Net" comedy news routine? It's like a bad attempt to do a "Weekend Update", but it's not funny. At all. They thought they could fool me into thinking it was funny by using the canned laughter, but I was too quick for them. "That's not real people laughing," I said. Unless someone on the forums here writes for this routine. Then it was great.I think I could sleep for about 18.3*pi hours. Unfortunately, I have to be at work again at 3 pm. I need to plan my schedule with a little more forthought next time. W00t.I think the next sport I should try should be curling. I mean, how badass is that. "Yeah, I'm a professional curler." Chicks go crazy for that shit.I guess this thread won't be complete without a good reference to the chestal areas of the women. So, here goes: mammaries!No, that's not it. Nipular regions!Still not exactly right. Hold on, I think I've got it.BOOOOOOOOBREASTESSIS!Close enough. Good night.Captain Caffeine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kingbunky 3 #10 February 15, 2002 you're a strange man. keep up the good work! keeps all the normal (meaning boring) people on their toes. "Jumping out of planes for the thrill of it all."-J.Geils Band Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #11 February 15, 2002 Marc, you seem a bitcrazed, and not the haiku pimpI know. Go to sleep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JumpinJohn 0 #12 February 15, 2002 Oh Boy Marc... I think you really need a skydive this weekend, you should come on Sunday. And for all of you Archway jumpers... is the King Air back yet??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #13 February 15, 2002 Oh, and:Gladiator sucked!Two-plus hours of carnage;ten minutes of plot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JumpinJohn 0 #14 February 15, 2002 What are you talkin about, Gladiator had a great story... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JumpinJohn 0 #15 February 15, 2002 Well it could have been better is somebody did a demo into the colosium :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SpeedRacer 1 #16 February 15, 2002 do you think a real Roman emperor would actually get into the ring with a gladiator?? Speed Racer"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SpeedRacer 1 #17 February 15, 2002 Hey speaking of movies, who can guess the origin of the quote in my signature??Speed Racer"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingILweenie 0 #18 February 15, 2002 Gladiator was a Braveheart rip-off that in no way should have won best picture. It was just the academy loving Russel Crow and them liking some "epic" that had some neat visuals.blue skiesTomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #19 February 15, 2002 "It was just the academy loving Russel Crow and them liking some "epic" that had some neat visuals."So....it was entertaining then.......yeah...screw that!!!! "I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FallingILweenie 0 #20 February 15, 2002 I was entertained by it, but it was not as good as the hype....not even close.blue skiesTomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #21 February 15, 2002 "but it was not as good as the hype....not even close"And name me anything in life that is...."I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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FallingMarc 0 #7 February 15, 2002 Update: 5:38 AMThe chick who relieves me at 8 came in a few minutes ago, and told me to call her room at 7:30 to make sure she was actually awake. Bad sign.On the plus side, it's almost 6, and that means I'm almost to my "Two Hours Left Sugar and Caffeine-O-Rama!" I can't wait! It's like Christmas eve!M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingMarc 0 #8 February 15, 2002 Now it's 7. And I've been having a very odd conversation over IM with a very odd person who did not go to sleep tonight, just for the hell of it. Things are getting unbelieveably funny for no reason. It's kinda like being stoned, but without the paranoia. Some fun excerpts from the conversation:Spiderman80: what would REALLY be awkward in a bathroom is if you sang "ten little Indians," but instead of Indians used the word dingleberry.M555555: yeah, that'd be awkwardM555555: or "John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt"M555555: from the inside of a stallM555555: for, say, an hourSpiderman80: Or just yelled "I'M A MIME!" while banging on the sides of the stall.M555555: hahahaM555555: you crazy bastard, mime's don't use public bathroomsSpiderman80: But if they did...Spiderman80: I don't know, all his years of experience, his accent, his encouraging demeanor - could you really have offered her anything close to that?M555555: I can fake an accentM555555: I can fake experience and encouragement, too, for that matterSpiderman80: Please. Kerri Strug sees through these things.M555555: I hate when I walk out of a stall, and everyone's looking at me funnySpiderman80: I always fear that somehow I forgot everything I ever learned and there's just streaks of shit all over the back of my shirt and jeans.M555555: I can't say that that's ever been a significant fear of mineM555555: but now that you mention it, it probably will beSpiderman80: That's what I'm here for.I love quotes out of context.Oh yeah, don't IM Spiderman80. That's not his real IM name. I know what happens when skydivers get bored... I'm M555555 though. Feel free to fuck with my head.The Mullet Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingMarc 0 #9 February 15, 2002 Ok, last update. I swear. I'm not a post whore. Really.I forgot what I was going to say now. Oops. Anyway, I'm ready for it to be summer here. Not for the summer time, as much as for the 80 degree weather. I like going outside in a t-shirt without poking two holes in it. Screw the midwest.What's with this "Fox Sports Net" comedy news routine? It's like a bad attempt to do a "Weekend Update", but it's not funny. At all. They thought they could fool me into thinking it was funny by using the canned laughter, but I was too quick for them. "That's not real people laughing," I said. Unless someone on the forums here writes for this routine. Then it was great.I think I could sleep for about 18.3*pi hours. Unfortunately, I have to be at work again at 3 pm. I need to plan my schedule with a little more forthought next time. W00t.I think the next sport I should try should be curling. I mean, how badass is that. "Yeah, I'm a professional curler." Chicks go crazy for that shit.I guess this thread won't be complete without a good reference to the chestal areas of the women. So, here goes: mammaries!No, that's not it. Nipular regions!Still not exactly right. Hold on, I think I've got it.BOOOOOOOOBREASTESSIS!Close enough. Good night.Captain Caffeine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #10 February 15, 2002 you're a strange man. keep up the good work! keeps all the normal (meaning boring) people on their toes. "Jumping out of planes for the thrill of it all."-J.Geils Band Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #11 February 15, 2002 Marc, you seem a bitcrazed, and not the haiku pimpI know. Go to sleep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpinJohn 0 #12 February 15, 2002 Oh Boy Marc... I think you really need a skydive this weekend, you should come on Sunday. And for all of you Archway jumpers... is the King Air back yet??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #13 February 15, 2002 Oh, and:Gladiator sucked!Two-plus hours of carnage;ten minutes of plot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpinJohn 0 #14 February 15, 2002 What are you talkin about, Gladiator had a great story... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpinJohn 0 #15 February 15, 2002 Well it could have been better is somebody did a demo into the colosium :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #16 February 15, 2002 do you think a real Roman emperor would actually get into the ring with a gladiator?? Speed Racer"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #17 February 15, 2002 Hey speaking of movies, who can guess the origin of the quote in my signature??Speed Racer"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingILweenie 0 #18 February 15, 2002 Gladiator was a Braveheart rip-off that in no way should have won best picture. It was just the academy loving Russel Crow and them liking some "epic" that had some neat visuals.blue skiesTomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #19 February 15, 2002 "It was just the academy loving Russel Crow and them liking some "epic" that had some neat visuals."So....it was entertaining then.......yeah...screw that!!!! "I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingILweenie 0 #20 February 15, 2002 I was entertained by it, but it was not as good as the hype....not even close.blue skiesTomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #21 February 15, 2002 "but it was not as good as the hype....not even close"And name me anything in life that is...."I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
