Things we learn from the movies:

[Muenkel 0]

Things We Learn From the Movies:
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
Beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
the armpit level on a woman; but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer,
it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen
at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in
your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Cars that crash will invariably burst into flames.
Stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to
bullets.
If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that
could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright
and pant.
A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts, so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you
meet will know all the steps.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing
them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of an invading alien civilization.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will
always say: Enter Password Now.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings -
especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless
of software.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from duty.
When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.
If you are a hero, you never face charges for manslaughter
or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by your actions.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
You can tell if somebody is British because he will be
wearing a bow tie.
When driving a car, it is normal to look not at the road
but rather at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
Taxi drivers don't require exact or even approximate
payment - the first bill you pull from your pocket is always correct.
Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his
son's eighth birthday.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned
down three days before retirement.
The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown
through it before long.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba
diving.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone in the control tower to talk you down.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of
French bread.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill
their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a
world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a
fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire
to cut. You will always choose the right one.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well
within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[StevieBoy 0]

hahahahaha ROFLMAO
but have you noticed the are all American Films
What are you lot being fed.
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

but have you noticed the are all American Films

yeah, generally. I don't know what generalizations we'd make about European films. Except that 1) everyone can chain-smoke at all time & never cough, be short of breath, or develop cancer, and 2) everyone who outwardly appears to be happily married is actually having an affair.
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[freeflir29 0]

"1) everyone can chain-smoke at all time & never cough, be short of breath, or develop cancer, and 2) everyone who outwardly appears to be happily married is actually having an affair."
That's European standard.....
"I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[SpeedRacer 1]

also in European films: Children have already begun sneaking off together for a smoke starting at age six.
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[SpeedRacer 1]

post whoring now:
4) In European films: you can wear sunglasses indoors & see just fine, even in dimly-lit bistros.
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[FallingILweenie 0]

you guys forgot the old skydiving adage:
no one will be scared on their first jumps, and will be able to talk in freefall (4 or 5 minutes worth of it). also, you will know what to do in any emergency.
if you are in a burning plane just jump out and catch the parachute that flew out 5 minutes prior.

[StevieBoy 0]

comon guy's
Now let's talk about GUN law's where you lot are afraid to walk the streets in most parts of your City's affraid of getting shot, Crack city's where you are afraid to let your kid's walk the streets, kidnaping where you are afraid of losing your kid's, schools where you have metal dectors, come to London where real men sort it out & not dress in combats & cowboy hat's driving fallic symboyl's & have no real identity anyhow.
But that's just from someone from the LARGEST RICHEST CAPITAL CITY IN THE WORLD, so what do I know, I have only 34 years there,
This post is not serious BTW, just bitting back, no offence ment.
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

This post is not serious BTW, just bitting back, no offence ment.

None taken. I was just in London and everyone there looked like a bunch of pussy boys to me."I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[StevieBoy 0]

OK
I got your goat up, sorry my friend.
That was not what I was after, no bad intentions were ment.
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[freeflir29 0]

"That was not what I was after, no bad intentions were ment."
I say we give the ferener a swirly anyway!!!
"I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

That was not what I was after, no bad intentions were ment.

No anger here. You've got to remember, we are all full of shit here!"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[StevieBoy 0]

Muenkel
"I've learned to say "Screw 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages"
I've only learned in two languages, lighten up bud, how old are you,
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

I've only learned in two languages, lighten up bud, how old are you,

I'm always lightened up!
I'm old enough to jump and young enough to enjoy it!
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[StevieBoy 0]

"I say we give the ferener a swirly anyway!!! "
ferener????? enlighten me, this is getting outta hand here, I love going to the States, the people I met there were really cool & made me me feel at home so I don't wanna take no shit from 20yr old jumped up wan***s to spoil things
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[SpeedRacer 1]

Man I was just talking about European films. and anyway I mostly had in mind French & Italian films, really....
no worries mate.... as they say...
and what else do they say in jolly old England...oh yeah..
I think I'll step outside and blow a fag!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[freeflir29 0]

"so I don't wanna take no shit from 20yr old jumped up wan***s to spoil things"
Chill!!! I was just kidding!!!! I'm 30 BTW....
"I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[Muenkel 0]

I'm also just kidding.Sarcasm is a fault, I can't help it!
"I am a victim of my environment."
Chris

[SpeedRacer 1]

Quote

I'm 30 BTW....

his body that is, not his mind!
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[freeflir29 0]

"his body that is, not his mind!"
Yeah....I haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up yet......don't plan on it either..."I only have 131 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[StevieBoy 0]

"I think I'll step outside and blow a fag!! "
MAN, hhahahahah that must come accross really WRONG to you lot,
aint life great, but that's what it's all about, the diffrence, I love posting here so I hope I haven't caused too much upset.
Life would be pretty laxed without a little banter
"£%^7897^%4! Yanks, (only kidding, honest)
can't wait to visit again, may meet up with some of ya some time.
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"

[SpeedRacer 1]

stevieboy,
do you jump at Hinton? Sounds like theyve got a pretty wild crew there!
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[StevieBoy 0]

No Langer
Thats when I'm in Englang, pretty cool DZ, classed as the working man's DZ, basic but good jump plaines, some of the people are really cool & laid back, I know alot of people there so it feels right for me
"Skydiving's a source, it'll change your life, swear to God"