Military joke

[bill2 0]

A group of Generals are standing around talking during a joint training exercise when the Marine General declared, "Gentlemen, there is no braver man on the face of this Earth than a Marine."
The other Generals scoffed and started talking shit about each of their own services having the bravest men on this here Earth. Finally, an Admiral broke the deadlock. "Gentlemen, I propose that we devise a way to determine who has the bravest men." He paused, then said, "You will find that the sailor is the bravest individual on this here Earth. Seaman!", he called a young sailor over. "I want you to walk straight into that .50 cal fire."
"Yes, sir!", the sailor yelled. The young seaman ran off into the whithering machine gun fire. He yelled out, "Anchors Aweigh!" before being mowed down.
The Generals nodded their heads and mumbled words of praise as the Admiral stood there witha self-satisfied look on his face. "Child's Play!", the Army General bellowed. "We eat bullets for breakfast!" He called for a Private that happened to be walking by.
"Private!", the General yelled. The Private came running over and snapped to attention. "Private, I want you to charge that machine gun nest, then stand out there on the mortar range until the volley is over!" The Private yelled, "Sir, yes, sir!"
The Private ran off and charged the machine gun nest. He deftly managed to avoid getting hit by zig-zagging at times while running and using the natural lay of the land to his advantage. He then ran out into the middle of the mortar range and stood there, arms akimbo. He managed to yell out something unintelligible before being blown to bits by a mortar round.
The Generals eyes widened at the display of gallantry and courage under fire displayed by the late Private. As everyone started shaking the Army General's hand, the Marine General barked, "Knock it off! A Marine can charge an entire division with a just a knife and defeat the enemy! Watch this!"
The Marine General called for a Lance Corporal. "Marine, I want you to charge that machine-gun nest, stand out there on the mortar range until the volley is over, then take a flying leap off that Jump Tower over there!"
The Marine did as he was told. He braved the machine-gun nest, and managed to avoid all the mortar fire. He then climbed up the Jump Tower, walked to the edge and bellowed, "Semper Fi!" before executing a perfect swan dive into the dirt below. As the Coroner removed the remains of the Marine, the other Generals sat there slack-jawed, in complete awe of the brave young Marine's feat. As they were patting the Marine General on the back, the Air Force General piped up.
"Gentlemen, we have all seen fine displays of bravery by your men, but I feel that you will find the Airman to be the bravest of all."
The other Generals started laughing. An Airman? The Air Force General took it in stride before calling a Senior Airman over to the group. The Airman stood there with one hand in his pocket, and the other one holding a cigarette. His hat was cocked back, and it looked like he had slept in his uniform.
"Airman," the General began, "I want you to charge that machine gun nest, stand in that mortar range until the volley is over, then take a flying leap off that Jump Tower!"
The Airman laughed in the General's face and said, "Fuck You! Do it your damn self!" He then took a drag off his cigarette, looked at the stunned faces of the other Generals and walked off towards the Enlisted Club.

[freeflir29 0]

Must have been a ROMAD....."I only have 133 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[lazerq3 0]

A Marine and an Airmen was in the bathroom taking a piss......When they both finished the marine went over to the sink and the airmen just headed for the door. the Marine looked at the Airmen and said "HEY didnt the Airforce teach you to wash your hands after pissing?"....the Airmen said "No.... didnt the marines teach you not to piss all over your hands!!"
Jason
(lame but still fun to pick on the GRUNTS!)

[Hooknswoop 19]

A company of Marines were setting up camp for the night on the edge of a river when a lone Army private starting yelling insults across the river. The Marine commander told one of his marines to swim across the river and kick the hell out of the private. Well the marine swims across and goes back into the bushes. There is a ruckus and the lone private walks out of the bushes laughing, loaded w/ more insults. The Marine commander gets pissed and sends a squad over to handle the private. They go back in the bushes and there is an even bigger ruckus and the private walks out of the bushes again laughing and shooting insults across the river. The marine commander gets really pissed and sends a platoon of marines across the river. well all hell breaks loose, trees are falling over and the marine commander could hear screams. One marine drags himself out of the bushes and barely manages toi swim across. the marine commandere runs up the marine and yells "what is it son?, what happened?". The marine responds "sir, it's a trick......there is two of them".
Ha Ha ha, jar heads :-)
Hook

[homer 0]

LMFAO!!!! good onewomen can't live with em and can't live without em

• Quote

[wingnut 0]

hmmmm... i just hapen to be in the air force and am a senior airman...... but i'll be damned if i'd ever walk up to a general with one hand in my pocket and the other holding a cigaret, i'd put the cig. in my mouth so i salute and then have both hands in my pocket.....
p.s. ....the higest ranking guy ever to yell at me was a full bird colonel and just happened to be the vice wing comander.....lets just say this...never park a motorcycle in front (as in smack in the middle of the first row of cars) of the chapel on a sunday when your asleep in your dorm room next door......yey, that was a fun time, i got "apointed" "chapel parking lot monitor" for a few months.......

"up my noooossseee"- wingnut, at first euro dz.com boogie

[Scratch 0]

Q
What is the difference between the Military and the Circus?
A
The Military has more tents?

[jtval 0]

Quote

hmmmm... i just hapen to be in the air force and am a senior airman...... but i'll be damned if i'd ever walk up to a general with one hand in my pocket and the other holding a cigaret, i'd put the cig. in my mouth so i salute and then have both hands in my pocket

hey wingy-- that perspective will change when you come to korea! but it will be at some social event that you talking to some guy and shooting the shit then you find out he's the wolf(wing commander-- full bird) i was a good thing im not usually bitter so our conversation was light and just bullshitting
getting high is fun, but coming down is the best part
JT

[freeflir29 0]

They're not called "pockets" They are Air Force issued gloves!!! Remember...the Air Force Instructions only "suggest" that you not put your hands in your pockets because it looks unprofessional. Army regs state that you shall not have your hands in your pockets....
"I only have 133 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[jtval 0]

the general perception here is, if youre walking you should at least give the effort to take your hands out of your pockets. but i got stopped by the chief one day he asked me to take em out(it was fuckning cold) and before thinkning a spouted off do you mind if i finish counting first. it took him a second then tried to keep a straight face as i took em out.
getting high is fun, but coming down is the best part
JT

[flyhi 24]

Little kid walks in to a restroom and there is an Air Force pilot in there. The pilot asks, "Hey kid, you wanna hold my hat for me?"
"Sure!", says the young admirer. While the kid is standing there, a Navy pilot comes in.
He sees the kid and says, "Hey kid, wanna go in that stall there and have some real fun?"
The kid looks back at the Navy pilot and says, "I'm sorry, I'm not in the Air Force. I'm just holding his hat for him."
Just take it one day at a time, like the drunks do.
flyhi

[freeflir29 0]

"I'm sorry, I'm not in the Air Force. I'm just holding his hat for him"
You never know about those pilots....
"I only have 133 jumps, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay