Quick Friday Funny

[flyhi 24]

Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A: Men will look for a golf ball.
Just take it one day at a time, like the drunks do.
flyhi

[SpeedRacer 1]

WELSH FRICTION
The Scene: John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson sitting in car talking.
(Pulp Fiction music fades off...)
S: Ok, so tell me again about the Welsh.
J: Whaddya wanna know?
S: Beastiality is legal there right?
J: Yeah, its legal but it ain't a 100% legal. I mean you can't just walk into a field, pick up a sheep and start pumpin' away. They wan't you to shag sheep in your home or certain designated places.
S: And those are valleys?
J: Ok, it breaks down like this: its legal to buy a sheep, its legal to
own a sheep and if you're a farmer its legal to sell or loan sheep, its
ILLEGAL to fuck sheep in public but...but...but that doesn't matter 'cos,
getta loada this, the police in Wales are too stupid to notice you've got
a sheep hanging off your dick. I mean that's the interlect the police in
Wales DON'T have.
S: Arrr man. I'm not goin', that's all there is too it, I'm never fuckin'goin'.
J: Nah man, you'd hate it the most. But do know what the funniest thing about Wales is?
S: What?
J: Its the little differences, I mean they got the same kinda people over there as we got here, but there they're a little different.
S: Example.
J: Ok. You can walk into a Movie theatre in Cardiff and order a lump of coal, and I'm not talkin' about no paper cup, I'm talkin' about a LUMP of coal. And in Swansea you can buy coal in MacDonalds. Do you know what they call a 1/4 pounder with cheese in Wales?
S: They don't call it a 1/4 pounder with cheese?
J: Nah man, they don't have fractions, they wouldn't know what the fuck a 1/4 pounder is.
S: So whadda they call it?
J: A (assumes welsh accent) "Ham and Cheese Sandwhichchchch".
S: A Ham and Cheese Sandwichchchchch?
J: That's right.
S: And whadda they call a Big Mac?
J: A Big Macs a Big Mac but there they call it a Bich Machch (accent again).
S: (immitating accent badly) A Bichch Machchchchchchch?
J: Ha ha ha
S: Whadda they call a Whopper?
J: I don't know, I didn't go outside. Do you know what they put on French Fries in Swansea instead of ketch-up?
S: What?
J: Coal.
S: Arrr man...
J: I,ve seen 'um do it man, they fuckin' drown 'um in that shit.
from: http://www.sheepjokes.co.uk/welshjokes.htm

Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[ScottishJohn 25]

Oh fuck, that was funny

• Quote

[SpeedRacer 1]

I'm bored. Someone post more jokes.
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[Snowbird 0]

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, "Yes."
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"Four cents," he replies.
"Four cents?!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says,
"What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

[SpeedRacer 1]

Random bar joke generator:
click here
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[Haeloth 0]

<--
- Platypus

[MarkM 0]

LOL.

[n2skdvn 0]

seen that pic still cant find the car!!!!!LOL
It's not the fall that kills you, it'ssudden deceleration syndrome.

[MarkM 0]

Yeah, just keep staring at it. It might take all afternoon, but ya know, ya gotta keep on trying...