One for the men ....

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

If it was really a mans world....... this is what things would be like:
1. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
2. It would also serve as a contraceptive.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the televised football, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.
11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."
12. Thef unniest guy in the office would get to be boss of the company.
13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.
14. Lifeguards could remove females from beaches for violating the" Public Ugliness" law.
15. Hallmark would make" Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
16.B reaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a "Cheers for the sex - now clear off" would pretty much do it.
17. "Fancy a sh@g" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.
18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.
19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and £2000 per-night brasses for the duration of those breaks.
20. Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!"
21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
22. Everyone would own a real Lightsabre. Any disagreements would be settled
with a fight to the death. (or the loss of a hand)
23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.
You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

[DENGOPHER 0]

way too much time on your hands dude!!! you need to go jump out of a plane!!!!
just jump!!!
gopher

[Spy38W 0]

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£2000 per-night brasses

I lost my English-American dictionary, what are brasses? Ladies of ill repute?

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

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you need to go jump out of a plane!!!!

Well, yeah !!!
You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

[TheMarshMan1 0]

LOL.....so true
I insist you desist. You leave me no recourse.

[jtval 0]

good list. but you forgot something...i dont know what it is but im sure you forgot SOMETHING!getting high is fun, but coming down is the best part
JT

[lazerq3 0]

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7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.

Careful what you wish for......A statement like that is the same as saying that spandex is a right..not a privelage!!!
jason