Friday Funnies

[lummy 4]

Words Women use.
FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
Make up your own ending,let me know just how you feel....

[lummy 4]

Been saving them all week...
Make up your own ending,let me know just how you feel....

[lummy 4]

and....
Make up your own ending,let me know just how you feel....

[lummy 4]

Word for Blondes
Make up your own ending,let me know just how you feel....

[lummy 4]

Last one......
Make up your own ending,let me know just how you feel....

[Sebazz1 2]

>If you really want to get that promotion/raise, here's some guaranteed
>winners. . .
>
>Top ten ways to be "the funny guy" in your office.
>
>10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if
>they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.
>
>9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you
>the sympathy remarks...tell everyone how you're just kidding..and tell
>them that they are all a bunch of queers .
>
>8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard- then during the
>meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a
>big loogie-then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the
>person next to you and say Beat that!".
>
>7. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker", then
>piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "ass fucking".
>
>6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the
>front of your pants.
>
>5. Answer every question asked to you with "fuck if I know!" then call
>the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
>
>4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your
>nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's
>hand.
>
>3. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and
>yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then when it
>stops...look down and say..."Oh!".
>
>2. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it in
>your butt- return it and tell the person to smell it- when they tell
>you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my butt!"
>
>1. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and
>sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick
>it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
"I know I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing" -- socrates

[freeflir29 0]

http://cnn.com/2002/US/03/15/eagle.attack/index.html
Now that is just weird.......
"I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[ChromeBoy 0]

I had a girlfriend who had one of those Taco Bell dogs. She lived in an apartment and hated to take the dog out to go to the bathroom. I showed her that with those dogs all you have to do is open the window, hold the out and squeeze the belly lightly and the dog will poop and pee. It's a time saver.
That is a good way to make sure eagles or other big birds do not get them. Zey never have to leave the house. j/k
Flying in a Blue Dream