mountainman 0 #1 March 18, 2002 Hey all.....just thought I would try to find some funny stuff for ya'll. More to come....http://home.attbi.com/~etrata/other/banana.swfJumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mountainman 0 #2 March 18, 2002 need something to smoke that???........http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,50820,00.htmlJumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #3 March 18, 2002 Peanut butter with a baseball bat LOLOLOLOLI swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mountainman 0 #4 March 18, 2002 Some jokes.....-=====-A little boy walked in on his parents having sex. He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?" She said, "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out." The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!" --------- Suzie meets up with Sandi as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. Suzie asks, "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness" Sandi replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah I was, but he didn't. I was SO relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid." -------- One morning a local Highway Department Crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... In the meantime just lean on each other until they arrive. -------- A terrific explosion occurs in a Gunpowder Factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened?" "Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up." "He was smoking in the mixing room?" the investigator said in stunned horror. "How long had he been with the Company?" "About 20 years, sir" "20 years in the Company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room. I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done." "It was, sir." -------- The Darwin Awards (These annual awards, from the darwinawards.com Web site, are given each year to those who remove themselves, or nearly remove themselves, from this earth in incredibly stupid ways. At the Web site, actual names are given with police reports.) --------- *Runner-up: A man at a ski resort who hiked up a ski run at night,untied a foam protector around a lift tower to use as a sleigh, then died by crashing into the tower from which the protector had been removed. *Runner-up: A poacher in Spain who shot a deer standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when the rock toppled down on top of him. *Runner-up: A man who put a beer can on his head for his friend to try to shoot off with an arrow. The arrow entered his right eye and went through 16 cm of his brain, yet somehow missed all major blood vessels. Yes, the lads admitted, they had been drinking. *The 2001 Darwin Awards grand winner: Two men in Washington state decided to attend a Metallica concert by driving up to a four-metre-high solid fence and jumping over. The heavier fellow jumped first, only to discover a 15-metre drop on the other side. He crashed through a tree and his shorts were snagged on a large branch. Figuring some bushes would break his fall, the man removed his pocket knife and cut away his shorts to free himself. The man then crashed into holly bushes, severely scratching his body. Without his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rear and the knife jammed into his thigh. Hearing his friend in agony, the smaller man threw a rope over the fence with the intent of pulling his heavy friend back up by tying the rope to the truck and slowly driving away. In his haste, he put the truck in reverse. It crashed through the fence, landed on the friend and killed him. The smaller fellow was thrown from the truck and died from head injuries. The police, upon moving the truck, found the half-naked heavy man underneath, with scratches on his body and a holly branch protruding from his backside, a knife in his thigh and shorts dangling from a tree branch.JumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mountainman 0 #5 March 18, 2002 a Max Payne animation.....http://www.sfdt.com/flash/movies/2038.htmlJumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wceviper 0 #6 March 18, 2002 http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2000.htmlfound that, I am sure everyone has seen it already.-JasonYou may push me around, but you cannot win!You may throw me down, but i'll rise again! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #7 March 18, 2002 >Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We >have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about >achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes >life 100%? > >If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: > >1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. > > > >Then, > >H A R D W O R K > > >8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% > > > > > > >K N O W L E D G E > > >11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% > >But, > > > >A T T I T U D E > >1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100% > >And, > > > >B U L L S H I T > >2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103% > > > > > > > So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close, >attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top. > > >And look how far > > > > > > > A S S K I S S I N G > > 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118% "i may not go to heven, i hope you go to hell"-C.C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
