rhino 0 #26 March 18, 2002 I find myself reaching for the handle this morning.. Now she has plans next weekend due to an old friends mother passing away.. Even though she hasn't seen her in 6 months it is important all of the sudden. This is pissing me off..Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sinkster 0 #27 March 18, 2002 I've been in the same situation dude. I found a girl who I loved and treater her with respect and love and everything else only to have her do the exact same thing which led to her eventually ditching me. My advice: go ahead and ditch her first. I know it will hurt but you might have a girl on your hands (like I did) who will not be honest with you, will not treat you straight up with respect, and who will generally just dump you because of God knows what. You see, she probably just has you around when she has a need that needs to be met, but otherwise you may just be an annoyance. But since she likes having you around when she wants you, (because she can take advantage of your kindness and goodness of character) she isn't going to tell you that there is no future until you become too much of a hassle for her. (of course I could be wrong)Trust me, nothing you do can change that except maybe ditching her or treating her with no or WAY less respect. She is one of "those" girls of which there are many in this world so beware. Nothing was too good for my girl: I flew weekends to visit her when she was away, bought her gifts and Godiva 'just because', was totally honest, wrote to her, made more money as a student in college than her mechanical engineer brother, am tall, in shape, a senior with 3.85 GPA in computer science, etc. BLAH. Anyways the point is, no matter how good you really are, or think you are, it probably won't matter.You deserve better. Just ditch her, keep jumping, and not worry about it. Someone will come your way eventually that is perfect for you. And worst case, if not, it;s not worth the pain of having an incompatible/rotten relationship (although I realize you have to work at it), so just don't worry about it. Hope it works out all right in the end.Sinkster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #28 March 18, 2002 rhino,Dude, I haven't got an answer for ya'. All I can say is "If ya have to WORK at/on it, it isn't real." Love is a state of acceptance, of both yourself and her, from both sides. Anything less is work..Love isn't work...TripleF "If you have something vital and it's sincere, you can communicate." Butch Trucks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #29 March 18, 2002 I seem to be leaning in that direction...Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #30 March 18, 2002 It wasn't work at first.. It really doesn't seem like work now.. I am simply not satisfied..Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #31 March 18, 2002 Sounds to me like she is just in it for the sex and you have been wearing her out dudeSeriously though, I am not going to comment as I have zero experience when it comes to the 'divorcee' issue.It sounds tricky, confusing and painful.Good Luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #32 March 18, 2002 LOL...I told ya' I didn't have an answer for ya'...lol...TripleF"If you have something vital and it's sincere, you can communicate." Butch Trucks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #33 March 18, 2002 Haven't had a change to wear her out.. lolSemper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 0 #34 March 18, 2002 ok, I'm going to have to be brutally honest on this post since I do know you personally. It isn't going to work, for several reasons. You are to pushy, you want to much and if you don't get everything you want you feel like you are the only one doing anything. If she has a life outside of you, you feel neglected, you want her to come running to you and cling to you in hopes that you are her big protector. The reason she needs space is cause you have a tendency to suffocate the person you are with. You are so scared of being alone that you end up making the other person run in fear. "She vents to me because I encourage it.. I am a release for her in many ways" Do you really know what you are saying is that you want her to be emotionally dependent on you, well guess what, yes it helps her to talk about it, but then she will start equating you with the break up. I've seen you do this over and over again. The problem is it doesn't work, because once she is past the stress of her past relationship, guess what, she is going to look for someone who has nothing to do with her past. End this with her, cause it sounds like she is actually working on renewing friendships, building herself back up, figuring out her priorities, which by the way could be with her as #2 and her daughter as #1. You have a habit of trying to date emotionally unavailable women. Until you yourself are truly emotionally available, you are not doing yourself or anyone else that you are with any good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #35 March 18, 2002 Quoteyou have a tendency to suffocate the person you are withI always wanted to try that on my ex-wife......"I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #36 March 18, 2002 is it just me? or is life too short to worry about this kinda shit in general? Why do people feel the need to introduce and/or keep excess drama in their lives?shit happens, wipe your ass and move on.Never argue with stupid people.They just drag you down 2 their level & beat you with experience Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #37 March 18, 2002 I am the farthest thing from pushy. I don't want any more than I give for that matter. I do not want her to be clingy and I don't at all need her to depend on me emotionally. I was in her shoes and I know how valuable it is to have someone to talk and vent to. Especially someone that understands. I have yet to have a woman feel suffocated by me or to ever express such feelings.How do you know I have a habit of dating emotionally unavailable women? Please fill me in on this one?Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #38 March 18, 2002 Quoteor is life too short to worry about this kinda shit in general?Thats my philosophy!!!! "I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 0 #39 March 18, 2002 Do you really want me to post in the open forum how I know? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyMan 7 #40 March 18, 2002 QuoteDo you really want me to post in the open forum how I know?POST! POST! POST! POST!_AmICQ: 5578907MSN Messenger: andrewdmetcalfe at hotmail dot com AIM: andrewdmetcalfeYahoo IM: ametcalf_1999 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #41 March 18, 2002 It is an open forum. I am not ashamed or embarrassed of my past.No one is perfect. Including myself..Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 0 #42 March 18, 2002 Sorry I'm not going to, for now anyway.I just hope Robert stops and takes the time to look in the mirror, so that the next lady who comes into his life he allows them the time to grow into eachother lives.And a word of advice to everyone, nothing is a relationship killer like previous relationships. If you need to constantly talk about your previous relationship to your current partner, maybe you aren't ready for a new relationship. On the other hand, if you are both going threw the same issues such as Robert and his GF maybe it is better to just be friends who are there for eachothers comfort and support. Then maybe some where down the road it might grow into more, or you may just always be good friends. A very wise friend of mine once said for every major trauma (divorce, death, separation, custudy battle) in your life you need ~1 yr to mourn/recover. For that year no matter how hard you try relationships will not work. After she said that I really took a look back and she was right. The 2 relationships in my life that have lasted the longest happened after that 1 year when my head and my heart were healed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,090 #43 March 18, 2002 >A very wise friend of mine once said for every major trauma (divorce, death, separation, custudy battle) in your life you need ~1 yr to mourn/recover. That seems to hold true for me . . . the worst experience I ever went through took me about 10 months to get over. (It was starting to skydive that finally did it.) I think it was about 4 years before I was completely back to normal.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #44 March 18, 2002 I look in the mirror every day.. I am happy with the way I treat people in my life. No regrets to this point..I cut away today........................................ka-chink..Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpingKayAus 0 #45 March 18, 2002 QuoteI cut away today........................................I was wondering why you stopped calling!! I figured it was a chickie-issue. Guess I'll be hearing from ya,,,,,maybe......tonight? I'm just giving you a hard time, Mr. Cowan! Love ya dearly!!!!!xoxoxoxoxStanding behind him even when he's wrong~JumpingKayAus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #46 March 18, 2002 I.C. !! lolDidn't you get the messages?? lolDon't friends return phone calls anymore?? geeeez!!Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpingKayAus 0 #47 March 18, 2002 hahahahhaha!!! Guess I have been a bit busy lately Get on your IMStanding behind him even when he's wrong~JumpingKayAus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #48 March 18, 2002 I'm on.. I don't see you??Where are you?? hu? lolSemper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy 0 #49 March 18, 2002 Damn!!Kachink,,, and all the sudden JKA is calling! ain't life a bitch!!Don't read this shit down here,, it's nonsense,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #50 March 18, 2002 When she sees something she wants she goes right after it.. I would return the favor of course..JKA is one sexy mama!!Semper Fi !!!!!http://www.aahit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
