The Futuristic Clay interview

[wceviper 0]

THIS POST IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL AND IS NOT REAL, NOR IS IT MENT FOR ANYONE TO TRY THIS, PLEASE STAY WITHIN YOUR OWN SKYDIVING ABBILITIES! If you think it is real, then you've got issues! It was written out of humor and at Freeflir29's expense. Enjoy it!
We are here at the local DZ of Clay Fouler, AKA FreeFlir29. Clay is an aggressive poster on dropzone.com. His numbers just keep going up and up. We thought the 1000 mark was amazing at the time. Several others have broke the 1000 mark since then and have been virtually pied. Clay has recently broken the 9950 post mark, he has 3 times the posts of anyone else on site. We did notice that from 9900 to 9950 his posts have slowed down dramaticly! We sent an email to clays dropzone.com email account to ask him some questions. We got a response in record time. I was amazed! However, there wasn't very much information in the post. We asked clay the following questions and got the following responses.
1. Has posting on Dropzone.com caused your job to suffer?
No, my job hasn’t suffered at all. In fact, they just asked that I cut my posts down from 20 an hour to 15, that way I can get some real work done!
2. When you got your computer at home, did you make up for the 5 posts an hour in the evenings?
Yes, I felt that I needed to maintain the number 1 status on dropzone.com, I increased my nighttime posting as high as 25 posts an hour for 2 hours a night. After a few days I realized how fast my post numbers were climbing, quicker than a Super Otter on a hot day!
3. We noticed your post numbers have slowed down almost to a stop, can you please explain why.
That’s a very good question. I'd like to say that it isn't from carpal tunnel syndrome. I know a lot of people are calling me a liar as they read that one! Its because I have something special planned for my 10,000 post. I am not going to give that away here. If you would like to know more, there will be an event at my local DZ in 3 weeks.
4. Can you elaborate on the "Special" plans you have just a bit?
Like I said before, I don't want to give anything away. Just come out to the DZ in 3 weeks.
5. Thanks for all your time and quick responses.
No problem, see you at the DZ.
9999 posts and 3 WEEKS LATER
Hello, this is Jason, I am at clay fowlers local DZ, and boy are there some exciting things going on. We just got the inside scoop on clays special event. It’s called "Posting boobies in the sky" and there are tons of people here. Here’s how the event works.
They have planned a special jump from 15,000 feet. Clay is now on post #9,999. His plan is to post 1 quick message about boobies and have it post the second he passes through 10,000 feet. Clay has been trying to slow his fall rate down so he can type a long post. He has slowed his fall rate down to 100Mph. Clays normal fall rate ranges anywhere between 150-180 head down. He is wearing extremely baggy pants.
The Laptop he is bringing will have a wireless connection sponsored by dropzone.com. They have also developed a special piece of computer hardware for the jump. It reads the altitude as the computer travels in freefall. This will make it possible to calculate exactly when he presses enter and sends the post. His goal being 10,000 on the dot! The computer will be on a special platform in front of clay, this was designed only for belly flying! Since the news of the event, there has been a pole circulating on dropzone.com. They are betting on when he'll hit that enter key. So far there are several hundred jump tickets on the line!
The pole is designed like this. They are betting when clay will hit enter. In 20 foot increments. It starts at 5 jump tickets a square. Clay will be boarding the plane shortly. We'll see what happens.
Just for fun
-Jason
You may push me around, but you cannot win!
You may throw me down, but i'll rise again!

[TheMarshMan1 0]

Poor, poor Clay, the butt of everyone's jokes.
"If I could be like that, I would give anything, just to live one day, in those shoes..."

[freeflir29 0]

"I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[PhreeZone 20]

ROTFL.... Good one... thats more time then I ever put into making fun of SheepBoy...
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend... ~3EB

[TheMarshMan1 0]

Yea, that one could backfire on ya Jason....I think you spent a little too much time planning that one...lol.
"If I could be like that, I would give anything, just to live one day, in those shoes..."

[freeflir29 0]

Stalkers.....A sad Bi-product of fame.....
"I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

[TheMarshMan1 0]

Eh, not just fame. I'm sure as hell not famous, and I once had a stalker in high school. Turned out to be my girlfriend (now ex)- she was trying to blackmail me. Dumb biatch...lol!
"If I could be like that, I would give anything, just to live one day, in those shoes..."

[prost 0]

Don't encourage him. You just give him an excuse.

[Haeloth 0]

About SheepBoy, how did this sheep thing start? I assume it has nothing to do with anything that happened for real, or has it? Where is the video?
I, fart In your general direction

[ChromeBoy 0]

Quote

Where is the video?

Do you really want to see the video? That is gross man!
- It's just a couple of broken vertebrea. Have some pain killers.

[Haeloth 0]

No, I don't want to withness an atrocity like that.
It is just that if there is no video, how can you claim that it happened?
I, fart In your general direction

[Haeloth 0]

Looks like I just killed a perfectly good thread...
I, fart In your general direction