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nacmacfeegle

Bizness --long

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Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell 80% of the milk to the US
market.
The American government decides that you are taking advantage of federal
subsidies to dump milk on the market below cost, and slaps you with 25%
"countervailing" duties, to protect the interests of the above-mentioned
American Corporation. Angered and enraged in typical polite Canadian
fashion, you cheer on the Canadian hockey team to pound the USA team 5-2
and win Olympic gold.
You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit, then apologize for the
outburst and get back to milking your cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine
productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an
ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute...
It aint what you fly, its how you fly it!

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A California corporation -
You have two cows.
You teach them to talk and put them on TV and radio commercials.
I guess you'd have to live here to know about the California cheese commercials - trust me, they're funny...
pull and flare,
lisa

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Australian cows
you have 100 million cows an american comes over and buys them all for $5 american
where happy cause we are aussie dollar trillionairs and the americans happy cause he just scored millions of cows for 5 bucks
Opinions are like a-holes everyone has one, the only one that does you any good is yours and all that comes out is shit

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California power company cows -
You have government regulation of milk prices. Then you "deregulate" and let the farmer charge grocery stores whatever they want, but grocery stores can only sell it for $1 a gallon. It takes farmers a few years to figure out that this means they can charge whatever they want, and they charge $100 a gallon. Then they discover that if they milk the cows less, people will pay even more for the milk! They produce less milk and charge even more. Grocery stores go bankrupt. Finally the government starts paying $100 for milk and selling it for $1 a gallon, "solving" the problem.
Everyone blames the cows.
-bill von

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You have two Georgia cows.....you slaughter both of them. Put some steaks on the grill along with some potatos. Drink beer while cooking and then eat. Drink more beer after eating and then fall down. Wake up the next day and skydive....:)"I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay

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nacac......
ah yes the dz in buell....pronounced booooll...have a very good friend that lives near yeverdon and every time i went to visit her i would always want to go jup there...in the 5 times i made it down to switzerland i never did get to jump there....and down alas i'm back in the states and will have to wait a while before i can try and jup there.......

"i may not go to heven, i hope you go to hell"-C.C.

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CALIFORNIA COWS:
There are 5 cows. They start an enviornmental group and don't allow themselves to be milked. Finally, they end up working for a dot-com and go bankrupt.
FLORIDA COWS:
There are millions of cows. None of them are from Florida. They are all retired or from Cuba.
TEXAN COWS:
(See Georgia Cows)
NEW YORK COWS:
There are millions of cows packed on one small farm. They are all rude and pushy. Everyone loves these cows anyway.
JumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook.

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