nacmacfeegle 0 #1 March 19, 2002 Traditional CapitalismYou have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.Enron Venture CapitalismYou have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.The public buys your bull.AN AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.A CANADIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell 80% of the milk to the US market.The American government decides that you are taking advantage of federal subsidies to dump milk on the market below cost, and slaps you with 25% "countervailing" duties, to protect the interests of the above-mentioned American Corporation. Angered and enraged in typical polite Canadian fashion, you cheer on the Canadian hockey team to pound the USA team 5-2 and win Olympic gold.You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit, then apologize for the outburst and get back to milking your cows.A FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.A JAPANESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.A GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Both are mad.AN ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You break for lunch.A RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.You charge others for storing them.A HINDU CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You worship them.A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.AN ISRAELI CORPORATIONSo, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.So, who needs people?AN ARKANSAS CORPORATIONYou have two cows.That one on the left is kinda cute...It aint what you fly, its how you fly it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #2 March 19, 2002 A California corporation - You have two cows. You teach them to talk and put them on TV and radio commercials. I guess you'd have to live here to know about the California cheese commercials - trust me, they're funny...pull and flare,lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #3 March 19, 2002 North Dakota (?)You teach them to talk, and use them to sell computers.Never argue with stupid people.They just drag you down 2 their level & beat you with experience Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyhawk 2 #4 March 19, 2002 Australian cowsyou have 100 million cows an american comes over and buys them all for $5 americanwhere happy cause we are aussie dollar trillionairs and the americans happy cause he just scored millions of cows for 5 bucksOpinions are like a-holes everyone has one, the only one that does you any good is yours and all that comes out is shit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #5 March 19, 2002 a skydiver's cows....the skydiver teaches the cows to skydive and turn 20 points on a 4 way, he then has them buy the beer for being the FIRST skydiving cows......"i may not go to heven, i hope you go to hell"-C.C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #6 March 19, 2002 Quotethe skydiver teaches the cows to skydive and turn 20 points on a 4 wayThat is a lot of inverted udders. Justin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #7 March 19, 2002 Skydiving cows???http://epco.knabe.net/Andreas has a bit of a thing about those....Hint, explore the site fully It aint what you fly, its how you fly it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,090 #8 March 19, 2002 California power company cows - You have government regulation of milk prices. Then you "deregulate" and let the farmer charge grocery stores whatever they want, but grocery stores can only sell it for $1 a gallon. It takes farmers a few years to figure out that this means they can charge whatever they want, and they charge $100 a gallon. Then they discover that if they milk the cows less, people will pay even more for the milk! They produce less milk and charge even more. Grocery stores go bankrupt. Finally the government starts paying $100 for milk and selling it for $1 a gallon, "solving" the problem.Everyone blames the cows.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #9 March 19, 2002 Resulting in serious milk shortages aka white outs?It aint what you fly, its how you fly it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #10 March 19, 2002 You have two Georgia cows.....you slaughter both of them. Put some steaks on the grill along with some potatos. Drink beer while cooking and then eat. Drink more beer after eating and then fall down. Wake up the next day and skydive...."I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #11 March 19, 2002 Yeah I don't drink milk but I love steak..........and beer..........Sebazz......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #12 March 19, 2002 nacac......ah yes the dz in buell....pronounced booooll...have a very good friend that lives near yeverdon and every time i went to visit her i would always want to go jup there...in the 5 times i made it down to switzerland i never did get to jump there....and down alas i'm back in the states and will have to wait a while before i can try and jup there......."i may not go to heven, i hope you go to hell"-C.C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mountainman 0 #13 March 19, 2002 CALIFORNIA COWS:There are 5 cows. They start an enviornmental group and don't allow themselves to be milked. Finally, they end up working for a dot-com and go bankrupt.FLORIDA COWS:There are millions of cows. None of them are from Florida. They are all retired or from Cuba.TEXAN COWS:(See Georgia Cows)NEW YORK COWS:There are millions of cows packed on one small farm. They are all rude and pushy. Everyone loves these cows anyway.JumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #14 March 19, 2002 I seriously need to go visit EPCB, It aint what you fly, its how you fly it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #15 March 19, 2002 Yeah Baby!! I love that picture, I think I might just start drinking milk now..........Thank You!Sebazz......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #16 March 19, 2002 There's more here....http://epco.knabe.net/pages/old_playmate.htmcyaDIt aint what you fly, its how you fly it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
