steve1 5 #1 April 12, 2002 I'm not very good at remembering jokes so if you've heard this one before it was probably a lot different. My memory is going.........Two old cowboys were in the bar one day talking about the price of horses. There names were Hank and Slim. Over in the corner of the bar a young lady started choking. Slim saw what was happening and ran over to her. Slim said, "Little lady, can you talk?" She was only able to shake her head. Slim then asked, "Can you breathe?" Again she shook her head. He also noticed that she was turning blue. Suddenly Slim ran around behind her and threw up her dress and jerked down her underdrawers. He then ran a big wet tongue across her rear end and half way up her back. The lady was so shocked that she suddenly choked up the pickled egg that was stuck in her throat. Slim calmly walked back over to the bar to finish his drink. Hank had been watching all this and commented. "Slim you done good! I always heard about that HIND lICK MANEUVER, but I never have seen it done." ( Has anybody else heard any good ones lately?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScottishJohn 25 #2 April 12, 2002 On hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away, Jenny rushed to her grandmother's side. When she asked the particulars of hergrandfather's death, her grandmother explained, "He had a heartattack during sex on Sunday morning."Horrified, Jenny suggested sex at age 94 was surely asking fortrouble. "Oh, no," her grandmother replied, "We had sex every Sundaymorning, in time with the church bells - in with the dings and outwith the dongs."She paused and wiped away a tear. "If it hadn't been for that icecream truck going past, he'd still be alive."=================================I can smell your brains !================================= Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #3 April 12, 2002 A cowboy rides up to the saloon, gets off his horse, ties it up, then walks around behind it , lifts the tail and gives it a big wet kess on the ass. Another cowboy witnesses this and says, "I've never seen anything like that in my life, why did you do that?" The first cowboy replies, "Chapped lips." "Does that cure them?" inquires the second cowboy. "Nope." replies the first, "But it keeps me from licking them!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~bunkyget crazy, before it gets you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #4 April 12, 2002 A man named Bill was tired of living in the city. He moved into a cabin far back in the wilderness to get away from it all. After weeks of solitude he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door to see a bearded, burly looking man staring at him. The man said that he was having a party and asked Bill if he wanted to attend. "Sure I'd be glad to attend," Bill said."The man started to leave and then stopped and turned around, "I have to warn you there might be some cussing going on at this party."The man started to leave again and then stopped. "I have to warn you that there may be some fighting going on.""That's okay," Bill said, "I don't mind a little cussing."The man started to leave again, but stopped. "I have to warn you there may be some fighting going on.""That's okay," Bill said. "I get along well with people."The man again started to leave, but stopped. "I have to warn you there may be some wild sex going on at this party.""That's okay," Bill said.Again the man started to leave and Bill asked him to stop."I was just wondering what I should wear to the party?" The man replied, "wear anything you want, there's just gonna be you and me." (How's that for a sick joke?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #5 April 12, 2002 A brunette stumbles into the doctor's office, complaining that her whole body is sore and aching. Wherever she touches herself a blinding pain cripples her. So the doctor asked her to demonstrate this. She touches her elbow and dubble over with pain. Then she touches her knee and the same thing happens. She touched her feet, neck and face, each time experiencing the pain.The doctor asked: "You're not really a brunette, are you?"The girl replies: "No, I'm actually blond."Doctor: "Go figure, your finger is broken."Hang onto Heaven, when hell is on your back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Geoff 0 #6 April 12, 2002 So the queen mum meets lady Di in heaven and says"how do I get a halo like yours?"Di turns to her and says"f**# off gran, its a steering wheel!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
