SkydiveMonkey 0 #1 April 14, 2002 Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the sixo'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the CliftonSuspension Bridge on to the busy road below.Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" towhich Beckham replies, "£5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't."So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching.Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But sherefuses."I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating.Isaw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump.""No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square Iwas cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I justdidn't think he would do it again."The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday, justbefore the game, when Roy Keane walks in."Boss," he says, "there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get acortisone injection.""Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the kitchendepartment of a large department store."What's that?" he asks."A Thermos flask," replies the assistant."What does it do?" asks Becks.The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next trainingsession."Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly. "It's a Thermos flask."The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask."It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David."And what have you got in it?" asks Roy Keane."Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David.Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic,knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world, decides to play ajoke on her."You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up theexhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place".So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house,opens a window and shouts"You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily.Posh asks him why he is celebrating.He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days.""Is that good?" asks Posh."You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."David Beckham had a near-death experience the other day when he wentriding.Everything was going fine until the horse started bucking up and down outofcontrol. He tried with all his might to hang on but it was no good. Withhisfoot caught in the stirrup, he fell head first to the ground. His headcontinued to bump on the ground as the horse refused to stop or even slowdown. Fortunately, however, there was a happy ending. Just as he was givingup hope and losing consciousness, the Woolworth's' manager came along andunplugged it. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites