What's the Worst Thing You Ever Did To a Co-Worker

[Divadiver 0]

Have you ever gotten revenge on a co-worker for something that they did to you? What the worst thing that you've done or can think of to do? (evil, vile thoughts)
Oh no, I don't need any ideas or anything . . . no, nothing like that (mumble, mumble, back stabbing, lying, bitch!).
Diva

[mccordia 74]

Never needed to take revenge on co-workers...but I did give them all a stinky day last year..
After a tip from one of my brilliant buddies, I tried drying my socks in the company microwave (after they where drenched because of riding through the rain on my motorcycle)
I put them in, turned the thing on, and after about 5 seconds.."WHOOOF" the whole thing was set in flames..
The microwave 'roof' started buring, and the smoke detectors started howlering.
I didn't wait a single second, and ripped the plug out, grabbed a wet towel, and took the (burning) microwave, and ran through the office (leaving a big black smoke-trail, and setting off a dozen smoke detectors:) and opened a window, and threw the thing two storries down (still burning...those where some damn fine socks..:)
Peope at work don't have to do bad things to me...I'll do them to myself...(but damn if it wasn't fun...afterward that is..:)

[ScottishJohn 25]

I used to work for this ass hole who was in charge of making new developments to our numerical model.
Anyway , the output from this model used to be printed off on about 300 pieces of microfiche every day and I had to hand sort the micro fiche and pull out a couple that he was interested in then file the rest away.
If the fiche he wanted wasn't there then he would ask me to go down stairs (3 floors down) and check to see if it was printed off.
He would come in every 15 mins and ask me to go down and check until it arrived.
Well I got pretty pissed off with this after a while then I got promoted and changed jobs and moved to one of our smaller buildings in the area.
But for a few weeks after changing jobs I would get up nice and early go into the main building go down to the computer room search through all the micro fiche that belonged to him find this one piece of fiche that was so important to him then put it in my pocket, walk out and go to my own building.
Unfortunately I wasn't there to see the look on his face as he had to keep going down to look for this missing bit of fiche but I still got a certain amount of satisfaction out of it.

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I can smell your brains !
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[ScottishJohn 25]

I used to work for IBM in Greenock years ago on the production line making mother boards for pc's and after the process that I was involved inwe had to print off barcode lables and stick then on each card before they were sent away for testing etc.
Anyway, we got this new guy starting with us and we put him on the lable machine because it was even more boring than the rest of the job but this arse hole came upto him and started to give the poor guy grief about the lables on the boards because his bar code scanner wouldn't scan them and he had to type the numbers in by hand.
The boards used to take about a 24 hours to reach "The Moaner" after we had finished with them so that night specially for "The Moaner" I setup the lable printer to cut the last bar off every lable that was printed that night.
And every time he came back to moan we done the same thing again.
Eventually he must have got the message because he never came back.
Oh Happy Days =================================
I can smell your brains !
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[Slappie 9]

I've done this a few times...
I was a warehouse manager and we had a "lunch thief" who would steal lunches out of the frig and feed himself whenever he felt like it.. so I made a batch of nice chocolate brownies used 2 boxes of exlax.. put a small bag in the fridge with the note "Please do not eat" on it... You can figure this one out.. The bag of doctored brownies dissapeared about an hour after I put it in the fridge.. later that day one of my guys just couldn't stay out of the bathroom for some reason or another.. I found the thief I've also signed one of my co-workers up to a porno-bot email spammer.. using his email address I signed him up to about 1400 porno sites who send out free pix and ads then notified IT anonomisly he was surfing porno.. Let's say he got fired crying and bitching that he doesn't surf porno and that they just started showing up all of a sudden...
I have many other stories... about the time I did a job in Mexico "deep country" and came back with 3 water bottles of some "Mexican Best" water.... Let's say a few co-workers who pissed me off took a couple days off do to severe craps and diahrea...
ok ok enough... just some ideas My New Website with 24hr Chat

[ScottishJohn 25]

I've thought of another one.
Back at IBM again onother guy comes up and give the afore mentioned
PFY on the label machine some verbal abuse about something. Now this
young guy is our PFY and he is part of our team so if he needs some
verbal he should get it from us.
Anyway, I find out where "The Whinger" is working and dicover that he
is on a short term contract to do a specific task and that the contract
keeps getting extended because the engieers haven't found a better way
to automate this mundane task.
I go back to may locker put on a nice tie , change my usual grubby white
coat for a sparkling new one, grab a clip board and pen and head off
to sort this arse hole out.
I get down to this guy and introduce myself as a "Time and Motion"
manager and that he is to ignore me and just carry on with his work.
I stand there for about 30 min doing a very good job of writing things
down on my clip board , looking at my watch , shaking my head and sucking
in air through my teath (known as a teeth drier).
This guy is now worried, he can see the end of the contract in coming
up and is working twice as fast (and sweating quite a bit) to try and
impress me as I time every move he makes and write it down.
I then start with the stupid questions, Why are you doing that , how many
of these do you do in a day, why don't you do it like that etc, and all
the time the PFY and my team mates are sitting in the tea room across from
us pissing there pants with laughter as this guy tries to explain to me how
important his job is.
It was very funny but you really had to be there to appreciate it.
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I can smell your brains !
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[ScottishJohn 25]

> Let's say a few co-workers who pissed me off took a couple days off > do to severe craps and diahrea...
You are soooo bad.
I must remember that one =================================
I can smell your brains !
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[kingbunky 3]

(note to self... do not attempt to gain employment at the same company as john.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bunky
get crazy, before it gets you.

[rgoper 0]

we used to have this one guy that was really agitating working on one of my crews on a drilling rig some years ago. he was really nasty, non hygenic, filthy swarthy individual, and he had a really shrill high pitched voice. he did everything he could to aggravate the other workers, so they came complaining to me. they advised that he kept a giant tupperware bowl of tuna-fish salad in the refrigerator, as the hands lived on location, since it was a remote driiling location. (you pen up 10 guys in a 16 X 80, it won't be long you've got trouble, trust me) but in any event i told one of the hands to "spike" his tuna-fish salad, so he goes into town, and buys 2 cans of fancy feast cat food, "ocean perch" flavor, and mixes it in with the boy's tuna-fish....he never noticed the difference, but much to our satisfaction, he couldn't get enough! every time he'd walk by, we'd al go "MEOWWWW" and he never did get it. after that, they started pissing in his drinking water, i didn't endorse that one, but i LMMFAO, that dude drank more urine, well, let's just say, he could have made the guiness book of world records.
Richard
"Gravity Is My Friend"

[Divadiver 0]

EWWWEEEE, Richard!!!
Diva

[ScottishJohn 25]

I'm really ok to work with (as long as I ignore the voices)
I't's not my fault that everyone winds me up
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I can smell your brains !
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[TequilaGirl 0]

One of the attorneys I used to work for was a total ass - so whenever he would piss me off - I would pretend to schedule court hearings and then send him off the courthouse for hearings that didn't exist.......took him a long time to catch on....

[rgoper 0]

meowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
Richard
"Gravity Is My Friend"

[nacmacfeegle 0]

when I was a junior draughtsman, we had this bully guy who would mistreat all us young hopefuls, a really nasty piece of work.....
So....we would superglue his (technical drawing) pens, which are a complete bitch to clean, put blue tack on his chair, a bitch to get out of a suit, put marking blue (inky stuff) on his brief case handles, hide important paperwork, put bird seed and bread on top of his car (ever seen what seagullshit looks like on a nice car??) etc, etc, etc. All pretty lame stuff, but fun in a vengeful kinda way nevertheless.
Many, many, many years later I had the guy working for me on a survey team offshore in the North sea. I felt kinda bad about things, so I told him all about the bad shit we used to do to him, and explained why, thinking he would laugh and joke about the good old days....
He blew his top ranting, raving, swearing, being very rude etc, and then didn't speak to me for the rest of the trip (as Rich said, when you are on site, things get a little personal, and a sense of humouor is really important).
Well, it was xmas time and we were all getting ready to go home, Roddy had spent about a month's wages on tax free cigars, cigarrettes, after shave, perfume, etc and was way over the limit (offshore UK, most rigs have a tax free store on board) for UK customs. He had a full holdall of goodies, no clothes, just a lot of very excpensive stuff, get the picture??
Somebody (not saying it was me at all!) tipped off the excise men in Shetland..........The last I saw of Roddy, he was about to get the "Big Rubber Glove",......And of course, he missed the last connection on Xmas eve.....
The ass you kick on the way up, may be the same ass you have to kiss on the way down. Cya
D

[SpinDoctor 0]

You really are a scarey person - remind me not to piss you off - or let you pack my shit....
(However - not a s scary as Slappie - i mean getting a guy FIRED for porno - even tho' the guy didnt even surf porno - that is bad shit man)

[nacmacfeegle 0]

Oh, and another time, at band camp, we signed the same guy up for just about every "pay nothing now., accept our free 30 day trial" type of shit we could find.
Ever tried to shake off the Readers Digest???? They are worse than the taxman....
Cya
D

[ChromeBoy 0]

When I worked in Atlanta this person was promoted to a position above me. She was the leader for 30 employees and she was paid very well. However, she was never there during the day and always came in and did her work at night when nobody was there. She didn't pay bills and bill collectors were calling all the time and I had to deal with her calls during the day because of course, she never returned calls. I talked to her twice about what the other employees and I thought about this and she never changed.
The company Vice President came in town and took us out to lunch. He asked me how everything was going and I told him exactly what was happening right in front of her. She was released a day later and I was promoted to her position.
Flying High Again - Ozzy

[JDBoston 0]

I have to ask: do you commonly let people pack your shit?
Sorry, I couldn't resist... hope people get that one...
Joe

[Slappie 9]

Quote

I have to ask: do you commonly let people pack your shit?

I think someone is talking about going down the HERSHEY HIGHWAY!!!
GROSSSSSSSSS
My New Website with 24hr Chat

[ChromeBoy 0]

Quote

I have to ask: do you commonly let people pack your shit?
Sorry, I couldn't resist... hope people get that one...

I don't get it. Please explain.

[judedre 0]

Fat bitch at work in the human recources dept insist on turning the light on in my office every day, i have a huge office ( used to be a warehouse and it gets plenty of light comin in there is no need to have 36 strip lights on i just sit in front of pcs all day) Anyway she insists on turning the light on every day we dont speak because of this she says its an insurance issue absolute bollocks its just a power trip for this TROLL so one morning i get in early unscrew the fixture use some tin foil and rig it so the live wires touchin the metal light switch plate, U shoulda seen this fat OGRE fly she ended up sittin on the floor with a look on her face of what just friggin hit me, NEEDless to say i won the battle and the war she no longer turns my light on every day, and if u ever read this roberta u friggin monster EAT MEEEEEEE

[nacmacfeegle 0]

I have to ask: do you commonly let people pack your shit?
Sorry, I couldn't resist... hope people get that one...
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Packing shit, aka:-
turd burgling, arse bandit, shirt lifting, ring reaming, brown jobbing, jobbie jabbing, or taking it up the poop shoot....In other words, anal sex.
Its not my thing, but hey, live and let live.....Cya
D

[freeflir29 0]

In the military for ten years...many stories.....When I first went in the military I was an aircraft mechanic. We had this complete idiot that ran the shop. One of those "Book Smart" guys that could take tests well so he got promoted fairly quickly. Problem was he couldn't do any part of the job and was generally a back stabbing asshole. Well, when you have 30 military guys that hate you and you have to work around them it's really a bad thing. A campaign was started to drive him nuts. Just little things....like we drilled a tiny hole in the bottom of his coffee cup. Just enough so that it left a ring of coffee every time he set it down. Wipe.....set it down.....wipe....set it down....wipe.....set it down.....Really funny to watch from out in the shop. Then he turns to sharpen a pencil...Uh oh....the handle seems to be missing. Oh well...it's almost lunch...were's that microwave popcorn I had in my desk? Why does my screen saver say I like little boys? Why does the appointment shcedule (Large white board hanging in the shop) say I have a proctology appointment? Why are there only three wheels on my chair? How come my desk drawers are glued shut? The list goes on and on. He would come out of the office shaking and yelling every once in a while. Funny shit!!!! One better one....I was out in the field on an exercise one day. We had a captain that insisted he was in charge of everything and knew everything and enlisted people were around to serve him. (Bad idea when you are around ROMADS) Well this guy has a habit of eating everyone's food. (Big No No when out in the field) He especially liked my friends sunflower seeds. In the middle of the Command post (In front of a bunch of Army officers) this jerk off "orders" my friend to go out to the truck and retrieve the captains jacket...Oh and bring some sunflower seeds too. Like a ROMAD is some kind of freakin errand boy or something. He looks at him like he is crazy but then has a wonderful spark of an idea. He strolls out to the truck. Gets the jacket, and then a large handful of sunflower seeds. (We had been in the field, in the heat of summer, with no bath for 4-5 days now) sticks them down his pants and rubs them all over his sweaty nuts. Drops them back in the bag and delivers them to the good Captain. We also took a nice piss in his hat...I mean filled it up...and then set it in the nice hot Louisiana sun to dry. The guy that was driving the captain could hardly keep the truck on the road on the way home as the captain kept munching sunflower seeds and asking him if he smelled anything funny.
There's also another story about an ALO that would snatch food. He got some really special doughnuts once. They had been abused....."It's all about the BOOBIES!"

[AggieDave 6]

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enlisted people were around to serve him. (Bad idea when you are around ROMADS

Dude, that's just a flat out bad idea with ANY enlisted people, I've seen quite a few Navy officers like that, bad juju.
Lets seem them do their jobs w/o the enlisted folks, it wouldn't happen.
A human cannonball, I rise above it all
Up higher then a trapeze, I can fly

[hottamaly 1]

I worked in an auto parts dept. and the mechanics, one day, brought in a triantula to try to scare me with. Needless to say, my aunt had one at the time, for a pet, so I knew how to handle them, so I took the huge spider out of the coffee can he was brought in and walked around the shop showing everyone how he would crawl up my arm and stuff. The mechanics ran like scared little boys and never messed with me again.
SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE....