Top 8 Morons

[Slappie 9]

TOP EIGHT MORONS:
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in
the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the
man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in
his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,were having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new
22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how
much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was
the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water
to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS! TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Does any one else find it frightening that the majority of these took place
in California??????
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[AggieDave 6]

Those crazy Californians...
A human cannonball, I rise above it all
Up higher then a trapeze, I can fly

[bill2 0]

Those crazy Californians...
_______________________
Remember, most of the nutball Californians have come from another state. I'm speaking of course, as a 5 generation Californian.

[ChromeBoy 0]

1. That guy was smart. I didn't get that much in my release!
2. Was the guys name Lummy?3. If he didn't have any money in his account he would have turned them over because he would not of been able to go anywhere!
4. At least he was willing to work for money as well!5. "Wasn't Me" - Shaggy
6. ?
7. Give me your money or I'll poke you in the eye!
8. Damn Yuppies!

[mountainman 0]

Today I heard on the news that a man was in jail who decided to take a shit on the floor of his cell. After that, he slipped on the crap, hit his head and went into a coma. Shortly after, he died.
Darwin of the month, eh?
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