Monday Funnies

[Magistr8 0]

A man is in a horrible accident that is so bad that he loses his 'manhood'... He goes to a doctor.
"Erm..." the doc says,"I can give you a new penis, a small is $8,000, a medium is $11,000, and a large is $14,000."
"I'll take a large!" the man says.
"You should really consult with your wife first." the doc says.
The man goes home and the next day he comes back in. The doc says "Hello, have you made a decision?"
"No, my wife would rather remodel the kitchen."
Haha
Whoever said comming down from a high was bad, never tried this.
Peter

[Magistr8 0]

Forgotten Presents
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One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and *shock* he hadn't bought her anything. Out of the corner of his eye he notices a shopping mall. Knowing that it was 'now or never', he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and runs into the mall.
After a frantic search he finds a toy store, goes inside and attracts the attention of the shop assistant. When asked what he'd like, he simply says: "a Barbie Doll".
The shop assistant looks at him in a condescending manner and asks, "So Sir, which Barbie would that be?"
The man looks surprised so the assistant continues, "We have Barbie Goes To the Ball at $19.99, Barbie goes Shopping at $19.99, Barbie goes Clubbing at $19.99, Barbie Goes To The Gym at $19.99, Cyber Barbie at $19.99 and Divorced Barbie at $249.99."
The man can't help himself and asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $249.99 when all those other Barbies are selling for $19.99???"
"Well Sir, that's quite obvious!" says the assistant,
"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's furniture ....

Whoever said comming down from a high was bad, never tried this.
Peter

[TEB6363 0]

Outch!!!! Women are just MEAN!
:::OK, Canopy is Open, No Traffic Around, .. Why are these "Extra" Lines Draping Down??, Damn!