0
Jimbo

For the guys.

By Jimbo, in The Bonfire

Recommended Posts

Jimbo    0

Jimbo
We've been subject to 'male bashing' long enough. It's time to fight back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
----------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
----------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
----------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
----------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
----------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
--------------------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
----------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
---------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
----------------------------------------
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
----------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor
Man has rested.
------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
----------------------------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
----------------------------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
----------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
----------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
----------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
0
Go To Topic Listing