Politically Incorrigible

[flyhi 24]

A team of archaeologists was working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it. In order, the figures were:

1. A woman
2. A donkey
3. A shovel
4. A fish
5. A star of David
After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour. He said the carvings were several thousands of years old but even so they revealed a lot about the people of that time.
1. The woman being placed first in the line of figures indicated that women were held in very high esteem. It was most likely a family oriented culture.
2. The donkey indicated that they had domesticated animals. they probably used the donkey to till the fields.
3. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent as they knew how to make tools.
4. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised by also reaping from the sea.
5. The star of David of course indicates they were a very religious group of people.
A little old man in the front row finally got the attention of the speaker. When acknowledged he said, “I'm sorry to blow your conclusions, but you were reading it left to right. In Hebrew we read from right to left. That way it reads: Holy mackerel! Dig the ass on that woman!”
flyhi

[flyhi 24]

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She
went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3
wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes (naturally) -that whatever
you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to
be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock
to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The
frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he
will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That will be okay
because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about
her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
flyhi