Puns

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

PUNS FOR THEIR OWN SAKE
* *A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
* *Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
* *A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
* *Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
* *If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality
comes from morons?
* *Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
* *A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
* *Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
* *Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
* *Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
* *Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
* *Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* *A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
* *A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
* *Without geometry, life is pointless.
* *When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
* *Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
* *Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
* *When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
There's no tomorrow - you ain't gonna live it for me - The Offspring

[flyhi 24]

I submitted ten entries into a Best Pun contest. I was sure I would win, but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
flyhi

[jtval 0]

if "Pro" is the opposite of "Con"
is Progress the opposite of Congress?
Life's a bitch, and I'm her Pimp!
JT
http://community.webshots.com/user/jtval100

[rgoper 0]

**if "Pro" is the opposite of "Con"**
"IF" is the biggest word in the english language, and yet, it only consists of 2 letters. for instance: "IF" my uncle bill had tits on his back, would that make him my aunt jane? "IF" i had $999,000.000 would i be a millioniare? what "IF" the next sky dive i make, is my last?
Richard
"Gravity Is My Friend"

[jtval 0]

ok I guess I should have used proper english
it should read. SINCE "pro" is the oppostie of "con"....
but I always like those ppl who make excuses for something they couldnt do by using the "IF" theory.
E.I. I would have won "IF" I hadn't lost!
Life's a bitch, and I'm her Pimp!
JT
http://community.webshots.com/user/jtval100

[nacmacfeegle 0]

Ole Spike Milligan (bless his soul)..One of the Goons....had a wicked ear for puns, one of my favourite ditties from him concerns a type of seagull.....
The Terns
Mummy tern said to baby tern,
"Would you like a brother?"
Baby tern said to mummy tern,
"Yes! One good tern deserves another"
Cya
D
Gravity Rat # 37
Remember, we can do everything right, and still get hurt.