September 11, Mexico

[SpeedRacer 1]

In a surprising revelation, Mexican authorities have released details
of an attempted terrorist attack on Mexico that was also to have been
carried out on 9/11/01. The terrorists' attempts were thwarted and
> many lives were saved.
> Mexico's intelligence agency uncovered a plot to fly an Aeromexico jet into the Torre Latina in Mexico City on September 11, sources told La Jornada. According to
one source, the Terrorists failed to carry out their nefarious deed for a number of reasons. This is the timeline of events:
Sunday, September 9, 13:25 hrs:
The two terrorists arrive at Benito Juarez Airport. They board a taxi
and head downtown. Taxi cab breaks down two miles from the hotel after
being stuck in traffic for two hours. Terrorists board a second taxi.
The driver turns out to be a "pirata." He takes them to La Neza,
Mexico City's infamous neighborhood. The taxi driver's cronies assault
the terrorists and steal their luggage. It is presumed that the
terrorists' boxcutters were re-sold on the black market.
> Monday, September 10, 1:23 hrs:
> Exhausted, terrorists finally arrive at hotel. Spend the rest of the morning on the toilet. Witnesses told police they saw the two men
eating tacos and raspados
from a street vender a few blocks away from the hotel.>
> "We thank Montezuma for his help in this matter," said one investigator.
Monday, September 10, 21:34 hrs:
> Dehydrated but still committed to their mission, terrorists meet with
> local contact, who hands them a pair of boxcutters. "Hey!" said one
> terrorist. "This is my boxcutter!>
> Look, these are my initials!" Under questioning by local authorities,
> local contact>
> claims he bought the boxcutters from a street vender in La Neza.>> >>>
> Tuesday, September 11, 8:00 hrs:>>
> Terrorists arrive at Benito Juarez Airport. Mexicana and Aeromexico
> airline mechanics are on strike. All flights are cancelled or delayed.
> Demonstrators block>> the runways and loot the airport stores.
Tuesday, September 11, 11:35 hrs:
> Terrorists finally return to hotel. They decide to blow up the Torre
> Latina with dynamite. Local contact finds large sticks of dynamite for
> $100,000. Terrorists>
> order wire transfer from Yemen. They never get their money.
Later that day, the money mysteriously appeared in the bank manager's briefcase.>
> "We are investigating this matter fully," said Bancomer president. "But so far our hunch is that we have a hero on our hands." Mexican newspapers are reporting that bank manager became suspicious of the two Arab-looking men and held on to the money.
He says he tried to call police, but the phones were down. Tel-Mex denies any wrongdoing, but hailed the managers good sense. The whereabouts of the money is
still unknown.
Tuesday, September 11, 21:56:
;
Terrorists obtain funds from local thug. They buy the dynamite and head for the Torre Latina. They park their rented vehicle outside the Torre and enter the basement
to inspect where to place the dynamite. Upon returning to the car, they
find the windows have been smashed, the stereo stolen, and the dynamite
> nowhere in sight.>
> A child appears and asks terrorists if they would like to buy fireworks
> for the upcoming independence day festivities. Shows them the dynamite.
> "That's our dynamite!" one terrorist exclaims in broken Spanish. Child
> bursts out laughing. "Dinamita?" he squeals.>> "Que Pendejos!"
Tuesday, September 11, 23:59 hrs:
; Terrorists jump off or are thrown off the balcony of their hotel room.
> Local authorities are investigating. One newspaper attributes the
> heroic deed to Super Barrio, the masked defender of the poor. Others
> suspect terrorists became so enamored by the warmth and>
> hospitality of the Mexican people that they could not bring themselves
> to carry out such an atrocious deed. One witness says he heard one of
> the terrorists shout>
> in broken Spanish, "Hijos de la chingada!" as he plunged to his death.
> Experts in suicide suggest that the terrorist was referring to his
> cronies back in Afghanistan.
Wednesday, September 12, 8:00 hrs:
> Mexican president assures the Mexican people in a nationally televised
> address that his government is prepared to handle any contingency.
> "Make no mistake>
> about it," he said. "Terrorists will not succeed here. Viva Mexico!"
Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[freeflir29 0]

That sounds like a standard trip South of The Border.....
"Here I come to save the BOOBIES!"