rhino 0 #26 May 25, 2002 Responding to many posts on this thread..Until recently I refused to believe the court is slanted towards women. IT DEFINITELY IS. That fact CANNOT be argued..As far as having my x in my sons life. I won't ever keep him from her. But what she is doing is out of control and anger. I am not the one of the two of us that is harboring anything. I am looking out for my son. When he was born I promised him as I cut his cord that I would ALLWAYS be there for him no matter what. ALLWAYS..After attempting this last week to be reasonable and the other side continuing on old, already beaten garbage I have been left NO CHOICE but to goto trial. I gave my attorney the thumbs up. We are going to trial guns a blazin. I may come out worse, I may come out better. Only time will tell..But when the day comes many years down the road I will have the ability to tell my son I did everything that was possible. I was allways a gentleman and I allways put him first. I could care less about his mom. She doesn't exist as far as I am concerned. I am a loving father and I have a responsibility and a job to do for my son. That is to raise him to be the best person possible. I am afraid that can't be done every other weekend.So the fight is on.. I am calling in the troops, the ducks are aligning and we are preparing for war..It didn't have to be this way.. She pushed me here by continuing to live in her fictional world.All I want to do is be a father and best friend to my son.. AND I WILL... No matter what the cost..Thanks again everyone... Wish us luck..Rhino Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #27 May 25, 2002 Lummy,.You have to understand that my x truly doesn't want me to spend ANY time with my son.. I wish things from her end could be realistic and civil.I have learned what a pathological liar really, truly is at this point. You can't reason with someone that is living in another world, speaking a different language,,I have tried.. Time and time again..To give you a hint about how much I have put my son first.. When I first got to Michigan almost a year ago I had supervised parenting time for roughly 5 months..Started out as follows...1 hour visit, two times a week for 12 weeks in a 10-10 foot room with 1-2 women taking notes on any and everything that happened. Usually over 80 degrees in the room. The room had some toy cars and a sand box in it.. I had to make it fun and enjoyable for him. When he left the room I would cry from embarrassment, frustration and confusion. It sucked.. It was hell.. I got Daddy? Why can't we go outside? Why not Daddy?Then it went to 2 hour visits at a location that had a playground out back. This was for another 8 weeks. So half an hour inside and an hour and some change outside.. 1-2 women taking noted on everything that was said and done. Daddy? When can I stay with you Daddy? Why not Daddy?Then came the parenting coordinator that happened to be a female.. The first question she asked me when I went into her office "this was the mediator" was. Mr. Cowan? Why do you want full custody of your son? Why would you do such a thing? Why isn't weekends good enough? I asked her in return WHY WOULDN'T I TRY TO GET CUSTODY OF MY SON? So she was on the female side naturally..Unsupervised time started. I got 2 hours unsupervised "at the zoo" one time a week for 4 weeks.Then 4 hours one time a week for 4 weeks..Then 6 hours one time a week for 4 weeks.Then 8 hours one time a week for 4 weeks..Then overnight having to have him back early the next day for 8 weeks..Then into Firday to Sunday evenings.. From that point I have had my son virtually every weekend for 5 months now.. Even on her weekends.And all this time she has established the environment that according to FOC should be on the child stays in because he is use to it.So me.. Falsely accused and trashed dad has spent virtually 2 years trying to show the court who I am is FUCKED just because.She gets free legal help.. I pay 200$ an hour. Plus I assumed all the debt to get her to sign off on the divorce in Tx so I could get to Mi to see my son. Plus I pay child support.. All I want to do is be a dad.. I will not stop EVER.EVERYTHING that I have done has been out of love for my child and what could be called the IMAGE of his mother. When he looks back at 21 years old and sais thanks for handling things so well dad I will know I did it right, Nothing I have done has been done out of anger.. I am not angry. I am simply afraid of not being there for my son..I wish it was easy, cut and dry. I wish the system worked. But it doesn't. The only way it can be changed is for those of us real fathers that are actually fighting for what is right is to keep plugging.It is hard, it is consuming, expensive.. But the good fathers know the end result is well worth whatever it takes..My brain hurts... Rhino Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rgoper 0 #28 May 25, 2002 **All I want to do is be a father and best friend to my son.. AND I WILL... No matter what the cost..**the more of us "responseable" fathers that take this same attitude, and STOP "rolling over" for the divorce court lawyers, the better off society will be. up until now, all too often, it has been the female to get the male in the relationship to "tote the burden, financially, and emotionally" for a relationship gone bad. there is a difference between a "father, and a "dad" i know firsthand. i've been divorced since 1986, i've been denied visitation rights, rights, priviliges, etc...and all because i "did" care, she tried to get me to "sign them over" i told her to go to hell. i'm not making the statement that all women are like this, there is a lot of "deadbeat dads" out there, and i, personally, hope they all burn in hell. on the other hand, you have "fathers" that care, and do financially care for ther're children, and are more than not descriminated against, either out of "vindictive" behaviour on the ex-s part, or for some aspiring young "politically motivated" attorney general. by the way, females, generally when divorced have it wrote up in the original divorce decree that the male in the relationship pays for her attorney's fees, this is the "first thing" that needs to stop. all this does is give the female a "free ride" during a divorce procedure, and most of the times, results in the females decision to end the relationship, because it won't be a "financial burden" to them, and it's an easier "out" than to stay and work out the relationship. i know there will be different perspective on this posts, i'm braced for it. fortunately, i've got over 20 years of perspective on this very subject, i've NEVER prevailed, even to this day, my oldest 25, youngest 17 (and i raised one who is 22 now, that "came with" my wife now) who by the way, i call "Jr" anybody's that's seen me on the DZ with him, knows how close we are. i think it's high time that there should be some changes in the family courts. don't get me wrong, for the sorry moth*r fuck*r's out there who are "biological fathers" and who don't care, f ck them, they deserve what they get, BUT there's a new horizon for father's who do care, stay tuned....more to come, i only wish i could disclose the "whole story"Richard"Gravity Is My Friend" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #29 May 27, 2002 I feel your pain... Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rgoper 0 #30 May 27, 2002 as do i, yours. we have to set the "bar" for our future father's and mothers of america. i believe as well, there are a few mothers out there misstreated as well, while a minute percentage compared to males, but they deserve justice as well, as do we, good, or bad. more to come on this issue, believe me.Richard"Gravity Is My Friend" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #31 May 30, 2002 Today it begins.. The fight is on.. Wish Daniel and I luck.. Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #32 May 30, 2002 Good luck, man. One note of encouragement. My brother got full custody of his two kids. And she's even paying him child support. She was a psycho that was using the kids as pawns in the divorce proceedings. Luckily the court recognized that and gave him custody.One of the things that won it for him was that my bro insisted on psychological exams by court appointed psych for all involved, her, the kids, and himself, and offered to pay for it. After her lawyer got the results of her exam, she told her to give up on trying to get full custody or find another lawyer. If your ex is as messed up as you say, may be something for you to look at.cielos azules y cerveza fría-Kevin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,465 #33 May 30, 2002 Rhino,Good luck to you and your son Daniel. I am convinced you will be victorious in the end!!!!!!SkyDekker"We cannot do great things, only small things with great love" Mother Theresa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #34 May 31, 2002 Holy crap... 4 hours of court time.. Never even really went in front of the judge.. Gained a couple of small points but the trial was postponed for a month.This is bullshit... Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,085 #35 May 31, 2002 >4 hours of court time.. Never even really went in front of the judge..>This is bullshit . . . Hang in there. Our court systems are inefficient and everything takes forever, but at least they seem to do the right thing more often than not.And it could be worse. A friend of mine is going to spend a lot of time in court over the next month, testifying against the man who (allegedly) kidnapped and killed his daughter. I can't imagine what he's going through.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #36 May 31, 2002 If someone kidnapped and killed my son we would never make it to court.. I'd kill that bastard.My best wishes to your friend. I hope he finds some sort of peace and closure if it even exists in his situation. Blue Skies ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
