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billvon

An emotional weekend

By billvon, in The Bonfire

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billvon    3,179

billvon
Almost exactly a year ago, I got the call that a friend of mine had gotten hurt at the DZ. It was a low toggle turn for no apparent reason, and no one was sure what her condition was. I jumped in the van and got to the hospital just as the helicopter was landing. For three days we weren't sure if she would make it - petekial brain hemmorages, ARDS and a low GCS. Then she started to improve, but we weren't sure how much brain function she would recover. I spent a lot of nights with her in the hospital and rehab. She was miserable - lots of tubes, and she couldn't even sit up for two months while her pelvis healed. One thing that kept me going was the thought that one day she'd walk and jump again, and all this pain she was going through would pay off someday.
On the one year anniversary of her accident, her recovery was nothing short of amazing. She had no observable deficits, her face was so close to perfect that only people who know what happened could see anything different, and she was playing rugby and running five miles a day. She was starting to think about jumping again, and was dealing with a difficult rig company, trying to get her rig repaired.
On Sunday I got a message - "Hey Bill, I think I want to do a recurrency jump today." I drove down to the DZ, met her there, and spent an hour or so going over the usual recurrency stuff. The only thing I was worried about was her pelvis and legs - even people with minor leg and pelvis injuries favor one leg or the other unconsciously, and she had pretty much pulverized her pelvis. I was worried that her normal freefall position would now make her spin, so we went over spin correction and leg turns a lot.
We managed to get on the plane without too much of a fuss. She wanted to do this quietly, without making a huge production of it. On the plane we didn't talk much - she seemed to be pretty deep in thought. And although I didn't want to admit it I was nervous as hell. This jump _had_ to go well.
At about 10K I gave her a gear check (her jumpsuit, full face helmet and altimeter, and our smallest student rig) and made sure the radio worked. We were fifth out. We did a normal level-4 exit, which was sort of squirrley. She was overcorrecting a lot, and we slid around and almost went over when I got in front of her. Finally I let her go, and she backslid like crazy and corrected it almost immediately. Five seconds after I'd released her she was back in control, and she had this huge smile that I could see even through the lens of her full face. She did some 360's, and at 6000 feet I got next to her to watch her pull. No problem, and I took it down to 2 and pulled (I had the radio, and had to both watch her and land a Level III.)
She landed on her own with no problem, almost seeming impatient under the huge (for her) Triathalon 190. I ran over and she was just standing there, crying. We stood there with our arms around each other for a while, awkward in all our gear, both of us very teary. While she had been in the hospital I tried to imagine what she'd be like in a year, how she'd be different, what she would and wouldn't be able to do. My wildest dream was that someday we'd be standing in the landing area after a jump just like this one, with her only complaints having to do with the winds or manifest. It was hard to even imagine that while she had a dozen tubes coming out of her and couldn't even talk, but dreams do sometimes come true.
Afterwards we made one more jump to make sure she could still exit and track in a straight line, and her only complaints were that the stupid student harness was really uncomfortable and her RW skills were really rusty. Not bad for her second jump after a year off.
It's been a very hard year for you (and for some of us) but welcome back, Molly.
-bill von

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jceman    1

jceman
Bill,
I had a bit of trepidation upon seeing the title of this thread, after the past couple weeks. I did cry while reading your post; it brought back memories of my return and all the emotions involved in that.
Molly was hurt worse than I was but I really can sympathize with what she felt and Lynn understands your point of view all too well. Our congratulations to Molly -- welcome home! :)

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Zennie    0

Zennie
Bill,
Thanks for that story. It is nice to get a story with a happy ending for a change.
And kudos to Molly for hanging tough during her recovery and finally getting back in the sky. :)"Zero Tolerance: the politically correct term for zero thought, zero common sense."

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Sebazz1    2

Sebazz1
Bill that is a great story.......
I recently saw something similair two week sago though it had nothing to do with an injury. A very close friend of mine, a sister sort of, that I have known since elementary school came back to the sport on labor day. We had started AFF together and at one point she had even passed me in the AFF progression. We did everything together from carpooling to the DZ, practicing for our levels, water training, liscense tests, everything.. Well 2.5 years ago she met a man. I and several of our common friends did not like him but she was in love. So we let her make her own decisions. They got married. He did not like her friends (me included) and did not like her to skydive. In her blind love situation she conceded. Not only did she stop jumping but she completely cut off any ties to her friends. I thoought about her often and her name was brought up at the DZ often. Probably because she had a tremendous personality and was an overall kick ass type of person. She was missed. And no one had any means of contacting her.
Four weeks ago I was driving down the road and saw a woman walking down the sidewalk looked like her! I stopped a block down and got out of my car and just sat on my hood. She saw me and boy did she have some news for me. Divorced and getting her life together. And endless endless dreams of skydiving. She was super suprised that I had gotten an AFF/I rating. We hang out at least two evening a week sharing a beer. Well last monday she got refreshed after two years away from the sport. She had stopped with 89 jumps and a B license. After days and days of reviewing procedures we went up. Linked exit, kiss pass, 360 in both direction, redock, kiss pass, fruit loop, redock, kiss pass, fruit loop, tracked away and dumped by 5K. Ear to ear grins from both of us. Anyway my original skydiving buddy was back!B| She was very very relaxed and flew as if she had 500 RW jumps!
It was a good feeling indeed to have her back and though it was non injury absence, it was similair in a way to Bill's story in terms of someone dealing with adversity and returning to thier true passion. SKYDIVING!
And one side note. I think as long as you dream about skydiving you will stay current. She flew as if she had been jumping the past two years. Maybe only in her mind, but she was flying:)Sebazz........

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mollyo    0

mollyo
I got tipped off by Kate Cooper's email today that something was posted!! (sorry Kate, I haven't emailed you back yet) (but I should have known this anyway)
So, where do I start? I have yet to figure out the words to explain my emotions (if there ever will be any words that I can use) of this weekend.
It's just, finally, I am home. I am complete. It has been a very rough year, just the medical standpoint of course, the pain...but also to learn to grip with the fact that, something that I love so much could do this to me. (yes, I know it was all me- pilot error, but just the fact something that gave me joy could give me pain) Also, to deal w/ all the emotions...to try to explain to Whuffos what it means to be a skydiver and why I would do it again...I had some pretty nasty, mean responses back to me too. It has been very hard on my family and sad too, because they do not want to know if I skydive again. So, I can't share probably the best moment of my life with my family is hard.
But I had 2 physical goals I needed to acheive before I would try to jump. Not that you need to do these things to jump, but I did them before I got hurt and to me, it meant I was getting my life in order. So, on 5/23, I finally ran 5 miles, one of my goals. Then that weekend, I went to Dallas to play in a touch rugby tournament. I played like, 7 games on saturday!! (another goal)
so, ever since then (also picking out colors for my container, and other triggers..) the emotions had been building. Bill and I went out friday and we talked about skydiving...recurrency...I was leading towards no, that I didn't want to do it yet.
but by sunday, and see how beautiful it was out...(and how I am starting to relate costs/expenses of every day items to jump ticket costs) I start to go besirk...(?sp)
I needed to know...can I skydive again?? Will I come over my fears? anxiety? Will I screw up again? I was going nuts.
so I called bill...
and off I went.
The car ride....I think I hit every emotion...laughing...crying...fear...you name it.
but, by the time we were revewing things, I felt so much better..I was less scared..
We geared up...it was weird...it felt, well, like I did it yesterday..but not really? Dunno.
Plane ride-
Yes, Bill, I was deep in thought. Reveiwing everything in my mind...Just like you, this_jump_had_to_go_well. There has been a huge chunk of my soul missing for a year...I cannot explain...I have not felt right...and if this didn't do it for me...then, what would I do? I am REALLY glad you didn't tell me you were nervous Bill!!!!
Just as Bill described the jump...foreign feeling at first...I felt kinda like a student again....but one he let go of me...and I saw his smiling face...and I could fly right to him....
my life came back..I am home...I am here.. oh my god...(this is were I cannot describe my emotions especially)
The only time I was truly nervous was once I got below 1000 ft under canopy....I just knew..."ok, this is when you did something stupid" (thank god I don't remember my accident)
But then I landed...ok! I just stood there...and started to cry...well, baul my eyes out...
I just held on to Bill when he came over...I didn't want to let go.
Bill is one of the most wonderful people I know, if not the most wonderful.
The things you have done for me Bill, I cannot put into words...(english was my worst subject...)
from before I was hurt, to when I got hurt...the time, the things you did for me in the hospital, rehab, after I got discharged..
I don't think I could've jumped if you were not here to do it with me. (again, thanks for not telling me how nervous you were in the plane)
Thank you Bill, Thank you
also, Judy, Robert...
I am glad you were there on the ground too. Thank you.
Well, everyone...
I am back. I am home, I am so, so, home. My spirit is finally healed. I will see you all in the sky.
Love
Molly

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skybytch    273

skybytch
Congrats Molly! :)Reading your post almost made me cry, remembering how I felt when I got back in the air in January. Don't know if you remember but we met earlier this year at the Bombshelter.
Hope to get to jump with you soon!
pull & flare,
lisa
"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda sez

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gravitysurf808    0

gravitysurf808
Wow........(wiping away tears).
Thank you for sharing your beatiful story. It's truly a solid affirmation of why all of us cherish and celebrate those famous 3 words.....
...Ready , Set, GO !!!!!
Welcome home.
"This is the 4th time I've been late for work this week!!...and it's only Tuesday!" ...Cheech and Chong

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