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Vance

It's been one of those days...

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Okay, I don't post much, maybe that needs to change. It's been a helluva day but I got a great e-mail of one liners that helped. Please, nobody take offense, just enjoy.
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity.
***************
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
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Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
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What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick."
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Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
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Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
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What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
Northern fairytale begins with "Once upon a time..."
Southern fairytale begins with "You ain't gonna believe this shit...."

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.


LMMFAO!!!
The best is when men don't even realize they are doing this!!!!
HEEHEE!
Anne
crabs are only bad when you go down on someone and get them in your eyelashes-undisclosed dz.commer

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if we weren't supposed to stare at them, they would be on a woman's back. come to think of it, that would be great, you'd never know we were staring, and slow dancing would be much more fun!:D
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bunky
get crazy, before it gets you.

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I am perfectly aware that I stare most of the time and I am okay with it. Is that so wrong??? Of course my motivations are purely conversational as I use the superior acoustical properties of the breasts to deflect and amplify my words up to women's ears.
-Hixxx
-Hixxx

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