crazymel 0 #1 June 27, 2002 Okay, at first I only discussed this with "closer" skydiving friends, and they are the best support system ever! You guys know who you are - YOU ROCK!!! Now it's time to tell the rest of my skydiving family. The big decision....I'm gonna cut-away. I have lived a lie for faaar too long. I stayed in this relationship for fear of hurting someone I care deeply for, but am not in love with. I have been with him for 10 years - since I was 15, and we've been married for almost 7 years!! This will be the scariest thing I've ever done, but I know I don't want to settle for second best anymore. I'm gonna sell all my wordly possession (except my rig off-course) and move to the one place that feels like home - Namibia! No, I don't have a visa or a job or anything, but I'm gonna throw all caution to the wind and follow my heart. I'm young with nothing holding me back except my own fears and insecurities. This will not be easy - I will f*ck-up somebody else's life pretty good, but for once I wanna be true to myself. I wanna have the courage to make me happy, instead of someone else. I wanna forget about this materialistic rat-life I've been living for the past few years. I wanna EXPERIENCE life - I wanna be me without pretending. The only thing that scare me about this is his tears, his pain. I'm not sure if I should go ahead with it in the next few weeks, or wait 3 months to save some more money for my jobless months ahead? I don't know how to tell him? I don't know how I'll face him for 30 days living in the same house as him (visa situation)? I don't know so many things. But I do know I need to do this for ME. I'm scared if I wait any longer, the ground will rush at me quicker than expected and.... Life is for the LIVING!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #2 June 27, 2002 Wow....all I can say is......Good Luck to you. Sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this. You certainly can't make anyone else happy if you aren't. Hope Namibia is good to you!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #3 June 27, 2002 Congratts Mel, This is not an easy thing to do. I know you probably feel lost and you may not be able to see what the future holds for you but if you will be happier with yourself you ARE doing the right thing. I congradulate you on the bravery you have to leave and the confidence in yourself that you will make "IT" happen! not many ppl find that kinda of strength to start over. good for you... actually you scared me...I thought you were gonna cut-away from skydiving! that is a step in the wrong direction. stay positive!! from what you posted it seems you have thought this out. you are doing the right thing My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hobbes4star 0 #4 June 27, 2002 good luck to you.if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E150 0 #5 June 27, 2002 It's very scary for you and very brave of you. If you don't do it you will probably regret it. Sounds like you got married too young. A friend of my sister is getting divorced for similar reasons. She had not lived life and after 4 years of marriage realised she needed to get out and see the world. Good luck x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #6 June 27, 2002 QuoteYou certainly can't make anyone else happy if you aren't. In a nutshell Clay. Good luck Mel and sterkte Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #7 June 27, 2002 I'm sure you've considered everthing, so I'll skip that part - I've been through a cut-away myself, (as the "cut-ee") after 12 years of marriage and three kids, to boot- It's good you have a support network of friends. Be ready for some really intense pain, but at the same time, you'll have some of the highest highs, to boot- It's real roller coaster. But now, after all the kicking and screaming - and some totally insane behavior - (It was really fun - I was a man-slut for about a year - had some of the wildest sex in my life!) I am now the happiest man in the world- And you will be the happiest woman in the world! I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world! Keep us posted on how things are going, and we all will keep you in my thoughts and send good vibes your way!! Blue ones!!! -Lenny Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #8 June 27, 2002 Mel, i know it's hard to hurt someone else, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. I spent too much of my life being the "secondary one" in a relationship but finally realized I am important. Once i realized that true happiness comes from within, my life just got better. It's been 2 years since i cutaway from that relationship and i know without a doubt it was the right thing to do. You gotta take care of yourself and BE HAPPY!!!! ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skystorm 0 #9 June 27, 2002 Good luck en sterkte. You know that when you move to Namibia, I for one will take very good care of you. And Cape Town is just around the corner, so we can go and visit Scratch. I suggest that when you file for divorce, you move out immediatley. It'll spare both of you a lot of pain and humiliation. And he won't be able to pressure you into staying. Stay true to yourself. Gene Police: "YOU!! Out of the pool, NOW!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #10 June 27, 2002 Good luck girl! It ain't gonna be easy but you've already gotten through the worst part - making the decision. We're here for you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #11 June 27, 2002 QuoteAnd Cape Town is just around the corner, so we can go and visit Scratch. I believe Rob and Andre will be back there in October too. Once it starts to get chilly the wimpy Seth Efrikans are going to run home..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Scratch 0 #12 June 27, 2002 Pity there is no icon for [Kiss my Seth Efriken ass] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #13 June 27, 2002 QuoteKiss my Seth Efriken ass Well...I did lick Andre's foot once by accident. That was pretty disgusting..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites AndyMan 7 #14 June 27, 2002 I know getting to this point has been a long road for you Mel. It's been a tough decesion but I know you're sure you're doing the right thing. Sometimes, things just have to come to an end. Remember that you've got friends all over the world that care for you, as you go through this tough time. _Am__ You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Scratch 0 #15 June 27, 2002 QuoteWell...I did lick Andre's foot once by accident. That was pretty disgusting..... Ill say Dude never wears shoes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #16 June 27, 2002 QuoteDude never wears shoes Yep....and it was the sunset load. He was stickin his foot up cause it was all nasty and dirty.....so I stick my tongue out (JOKINGLY!!) and he taps my tongue with it. It wasn't so bad until the burning started...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #17 June 27, 2002 QuoteIt wasn't so bad until the burning started...... So how did you explain to the dr. how you got athlete's foot on your tongue? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #18 June 27, 2002 ***So how did you explain to the dr. how you got athlete's foot on your tongue?*** I just brushed my teeth with Tinactin for 10 days. It was over the counter.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nws01 0 #19 June 27, 2002 Congratulations on your decision and good luck with you future. I will be your reserve if you want me to. I have never been to South Africa but I am willing to give it a shot. I am no Tempo either I am like a PD. Strong and will last awhile. Very dependable too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #20 June 27, 2002 QuoteI am no Tempo either I am like a PD. I saw you more as a surplus 28' LoPo....moth eaten....with a little mildew... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyDekker 1,465 #21 June 27, 2002 Good luck Mel, I am sure that the next little while will be a mixture of pure hell and pure heaven. But Clay is right (wow, did I actually just type that ) You cannot make anybody else happy if you are not happy yourself........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nws01 0 #22 June 27, 2002 QuoteI saw you more as a surplus 28' LoPo....moth eaten....with a little mildew... You must have been looking in a mirror. Put your helmet with your camera on in the mirror again and you can take a picture to really see it. It's frightening I know but you need to face reality. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 37 #23 June 27, 2002 Mel, we are leading parallel lives, you're just a few months behind me. I'll pm you with what I've learned.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Darkzone 0 #24 June 27, 2002 Hi Mel, We've never met and I don't think I've ever replied to any of your posts before and even though I've never even remotely experienced what you must be going through right now I have been on both ends of 'cutaways', as 'cutter' and 'cuttee'. I wish you all the best with whichever way you decide to play this. It won't be easy, you can be sure of that and the tears and anger may linger for a long time but as the old saying goes and I apologise for the cliche 'time really does heal'. What you need to do when the dust finally settles is to move forward with your life, skydiving and new loves and when you think back to the past try to remember all the good things from your relationship and throw the bad things into a dark corner of your mind. However, none of the other replies you have received have mentioned your present other half and, as seems obvious from your post there is no animosity between you both and still a lot of feelings even if on your part they are not the same 'love' that he obviously feels for you. So, whilst we all wish you the very best let's also spare a thought for him and even though he may never read this think of him and the hurt he will be going through also. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TomAiello 26 #25 June 27, 2002 QuoteThis will not be easy - I will f*ck-up somebody else's life pretty good I don't know if this will help, but... I've been the other half of that situation--the one who got cut away. It did completely re-arrange my life. I took up parachuting. It will probably be better for your ex-SO in the long run. One word of advice. Do it now, and don't look back. Worrying about their feelings, moving slowly, etc. only makes them wonder if you are sure of your feelings/decisions, and prevents them from moving on and starting their own healing process.-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. 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freeflir29 0 #11 June 27, 2002 QuoteAnd Cape Town is just around the corner, so we can go and visit Scratch. I believe Rob and Andre will be back there in October too. Once it starts to get chilly the wimpy Seth Efrikans are going to run home..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #12 June 27, 2002 Pity there is no icon for [Kiss my Seth Efriken ass] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #13 June 27, 2002 QuoteKiss my Seth Efriken ass Well...I did lick Andre's foot once by accident. That was pretty disgusting..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyMan 7 #14 June 27, 2002 I know getting to this point has been a long road for you Mel. It's been a tough decesion but I know you're sure you're doing the right thing. Sometimes, things just have to come to an end. Remember that you've got friends all over the world that care for you, as you go through this tough time. _Am__ You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #15 June 27, 2002 QuoteWell...I did lick Andre's foot once by accident. That was pretty disgusting..... Ill say Dude never wears shoes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #16 June 27, 2002 QuoteDude never wears shoes Yep....and it was the sunset load. He was stickin his foot up cause it was all nasty and dirty.....so I stick my tongue out (JOKINGLY!!) and he taps my tongue with it. It wasn't so bad until the burning started...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #17 June 27, 2002 QuoteIt wasn't so bad until the burning started...... So how did you explain to the dr. how you got athlete's foot on your tongue? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #18 June 27, 2002 ***So how did you explain to the dr. how you got athlete's foot on your tongue?*** I just brushed my teeth with Tinactin for 10 days. It was over the counter.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nws01 0 #19 June 27, 2002 Congratulations on your decision and good luck with you future. I will be your reserve if you want me to. I have never been to South Africa but I am willing to give it a shot. I am no Tempo either I am like a PD. Strong and will last awhile. Very dependable too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #20 June 27, 2002 QuoteI am no Tempo either I am like a PD. I saw you more as a surplus 28' LoPo....moth eaten....with a little mildew... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,465 #21 June 27, 2002 Good luck Mel, I am sure that the next little while will be a mixture of pure hell and pure heaven. But Clay is right (wow, did I actually just type that ) You cannot make anybody else happy if you are not happy yourself........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nws01 0 #22 June 27, 2002 QuoteI saw you more as a surplus 28' LoPo....moth eaten....with a little mildew... You must have been looking in a mirror. Put your helmet with your camera on in the mirror again and you can take a picture to really see it. It's frightening I know but you need to face reality. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #23 June 27, 2002 Mel, we are leading parallel lives, you're just a few months behind me. I'll pm you with what I've learned.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darkzone 0 #24 June 27, 2002 Hi Mel, We've never met and I don't think I've ever replied to any of your posts before and even though I've never even remotely experienced what you must be going through right now I have been on both ends of 'cutaways', as 'cutter' and 'cuttee'. I wish you all the best with whichever way you decide to play this. It won't be easy, you can be sure of that and the tears and anger may linger for a long time but as the old saying goes and I apologise for the cliche 'time really does heal'. What you need to do when the dust finally settles is to move forward with your life, skydiving and new loves and when you think back to the past try to remember all the good things from your relationship and throw the bad things into a dark corner of your mind. However, none of the other replies you have received have mentioned your present other half and, as seems obvious from your post there is no animosity between you both and still a lot of feelings even if on your part they are not the same 'love' that he obviously feels for you. So, whilst we all wish you the very best let's also spare a thought for him and even though he may never read this think of him and the hurt he will be going through also. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #25 June 27, 2002 QuoteThis will not be easy - I will f*ck-up somebody else's life pretty good I don't know if this will help, but... I've been the other half of that situation--the one who got cut away. It did completely re-arrange my life. I took up parachuting. It will probably be better for your ex-SO in the long run. One word of advice. Do it now, and don't look back. Worrying about their feelings, moving slowly, etc. only makes them wonder if you are sure of your feelings/decisions, and prevents them from moving on and starting their own healing process.-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
